This will be my last (3rd) in the Regular Person Regular Day Regular Food series, and it’s actually a two-for-one encompassing yesterday and part of today. I hope you’ve found them somewhat helpful. I’d love your feedback.
I’ve had a headache and not much of an appitite.
Two things of note.
The headaches are pretty typical right now. They are caused by fluctuations in hormones during my monthly cycle. One of the fun benefits of being over 50 and starting peri-menopause. I’m not “sick”. This will last for a couple of days and it’s just a fact of life right now.
Even though I didn’t particularly feel like eating, I ate. Sometimes our bodies are on track and sometimes they’re not. I don’t eat every time I feel like I want to: I don’t fail to eat every time I’m not “really” hungry.
MEAL 1 yesterday
Protein pancake sandwich.
15 grams vanilla protein powder, 10 grams oat flour, 2 egg whites, a little baking powder, splash of almond milk and 1/2 tsp glucomannan.
1 tbsp peanut butter
1/3 banana, cut into slices
Coffee, omega 3, vitamin D, iron and 2 multis.
I was super excited to finally get back to hot yoga yesterday – even with a headache (again, please remember, I’m not “sick”). I started doing this 6 years ago but haven’t been since we left Vegas, so it’s been a couple of years. Whoa!! Time goes by much too quickly!! It’s a 90 minute class. It’s 90-105 degrees in the room.
I have scoliosis. The heat, stretches, and flexibility feel great.
Today, I left home early and had breakfast in-transit. Trutein pumpkin pie protein powder in almond milk, strawberries and coffee. It definitely doesn’t have to be fancy.
My personal priorities are protein, carbs, and coffee to start my day.
MEAL 2 Chicken salad and small, grilled pita.
Spinach, Tomato, Cucumbers, Chicken, Olives
Is salad always the best option?
Absolutely not!! If I add a ton of cheese, eggs, dressing, and croutons, my salad can actually have more calories and fat than what is frequently considered “unhealthy”.
Let me be clear here: I do NOT believe there is “good” and “bad” food. I think we can eat whatever we choose, BUT I also think we need to be mindful. There’s a lot of misinformation out there. Like, “salad is always healthy.”
To make my point, let’s look at the nutritional content of Chilli’s Boneless Buffalo Chicken Salad and a Whopper.
Are you surprised?
AFTERNOON SNACK
Sweet peppers with Skinny Cow cheese wedges
and…MEAL 3
Tilapia with buffalo panko baked with beets and greens.
The empty spot on my plate was for quinoa.
Have you tried it? If not…why not? I cook it just like rice and, in fact, it was in the rice cooker which I forgot to turn on. Oops.
Quinoa was done about 10 minutes after I finished my tilapia.
What’s so great about quinoa? (By the way, it’s pronounced “Keen-wa”)
Other than being incredibly versatile, 1 cup contains 8 grams of protein, 5 grams of fiber, manganese, magnesium, folate, and iron. It’s also gluten free.
I had a former client come to me this morning and ask, “Can you help me lose 20 pounds? As quickly as possible.”
It’s a cycle with this gentleman, and he’s not unusual. Not at all. In fact this is something I typically hear.
“Can you help me lose XX pounds?”
“Can you make it as quick as possible?”
Females say, frequently: “I need help with my butt, thighs, tummy, and under the backs of my arms.”
And, as frequently, Males say: “Help me lose this gut.”
These things are typical. Common.
…and fraught with issues.
Can I work with this gentleman on eating better, and exercising? Yes!! Will that change his body composition? Yes!! Can I promise he’ll lose 20 pounds? Nope…and that’s not a reasonable goal.
Plus, the truth is, he doesn’t want to lose “weight”, he wants to lose “fat”. There’s a huge difference!! If you want to lose weight, throw out the damn bathroom scale! Presto. Done.
If you want to lose fat, and change your body, learn to incorporate healthy nutrition and movement habits into your life – for life.
Why in the world would I say that?
Because I know how little weight has to do with anything. These two pictures are both of me. There is 3 (exactly THREE) pounds difference between the two. Yes, my pose is different BUT look at the difference in my legs. Look at the leanness of my back and the curve of my waist. Three pounds.
If I hadn’t taken photos, I would likely have been upset at, “only losing three pounds”. You know that’s true! Have you ever been upset for only losing a couple of pounds? I don’t focus on the weight now – I focus on the changes. How I look. How I feel. How my clothes fit. How strong and capable I feel.
So, back to this morning. This client’s cycle is pretty typical too.
He comes back every year. We work together. He sees changes and feels great….so he stops. Everything. He stops exercising, he stops eating the way he knows his body likes, and he gains the weight back. He has the all-or-nothing mentality that so many of us fall victim to. He’s 100% on-plan or 100% off. There is no in between; no moderation.
He wants the weight loss to be “as quick as possible”. Losing 1-2 pounds a week is boring. Being consistent for several weeks but not seeing a loss at the end is disheartening. “Just” losing inches but not seeing the scale move can stop people in their tracks. But that’s the way it works.
The reality is, this guy doesn’t really want another, “quick fix”. None of us do! What we want is to get healthy and maintain a body that not only works well but that we’re comfortable in.
THAT’S a goal we can live with! For life.
How much better would it be not to have to crash-diet once a year?
How much better would it be not to stress out about what we weigh, yet still take care of ourselves?
Yes, it’s possible….
Here’s the secret to that…
Are you ready?…
This is IT…
===> Do what you can, with what you have, right where you are now! <===
A nutrition plan (any plan) is only going to work if it’s something you’ll actually do. It will only work for the long-term if it’s something you’ll actually stick with. Right?
Exercise will only work if it’s something you’ll actually do. It will only keep you healthy if it’s something you’ll actually stick with. Right?
There is no one-size-fits-all….not in clothing, not in nutrition, exercise, nor life. We are individuals. What works for your friend may not work for you.
Fresh, organic, minimally processed food is always going to be the best. That’s a great goal, a fantastic goal, to work towards.
BUT…. Sometimes life gets in the way. We got busy. We ran out of time. We forgot. We didn’t feel like it. An emergency popped up. That stuff happens to every single one of us!
L.I.F.E.
Life is not neat and orderly. It doesn’t go as we plan. Life is messy, and disorganized, and crazy sometimes. To be honest, that’s exactly what I love about it!
Do what you can, with what you have, right where you are now. Make the best choice from the choices available.
For example, it’s ideal if you’ve planned ahead and have eggs, protein waffles, over-night oats, egg white muffins, fruit, nuts, Greek yogurt and other delicious, healthy things in your refrigerator ready to go.
BUT…. If your only option for breakfast is going through the McDonald’s drive through, pick the fruit and yogurt, or an egg (or egg/steak) McMuffin (vs biscuit). Discard the top half of the muffin, and ask if it can be grilled without extra butter. OR keep a protein bar in your purse/desk drawer for the times you’re running late.
It’s nice to have had the time and forethought to make your lunch ahead of time and bring it with you.
BUT…. If you didn’t do that and now the office is going out for lunch, pick something that contains protein and veggies. Maybe that’s a salad, maybe not. Choose something that is grilled instead of breaded and deep fried, limit the sauces and dressing you pour on top.
It’s nice to get to the house and make a home-cooked, nutritious, dinner. It’s ideal if you cut up some veggies, grilled a bowl of chicken, or cooked something in the crock pot on Sunday for the entire week. Grabbing something vs cooking is definitely more likely to happen.
BUT…. Sometimes we’re tired. There’s nothing in the cupboard. We didn’t have time to go grocery shopping. Cooking up some frozen veggies, instead of fresh, to go with your chicken is absolutely fine. Have two or three restaurants that are on your way home, pre-programmed into your phone. Call for take out – again, make the best choice you can. a salad from Chipotle is going to beat pepperoni pizza for nutrition and satiety. That’s just an example. It doesn’t have to be salad and it can be pizza…..
I’m just asking that you think about it.
“What are your choices right now? What would work? What is the best choice from those things?”
The same is true for exercise…..convenience, convenience, convenience!!! I’ll save that discussion for another day.
I got up and went straight to work this morning. My husband makes coffee before he leaves so I had that, but no food for a while. I was super hungry by the time I did eat.
MEAL 1
4 eggs whites with fresh salsa and turkey pepperoni. Two slices of 40 calorie wheat bread smeared with a tbsp blueberry jam (the thing to be careful of with jam is serving size. 1 tbsp is a serving of this – that’s not very much and it’s far less than most people use).
Why do I only use egg whites in my omelet? Egg yolks are not, “bad for you”, but, one egg yolk has around 55 calories, 4.5 grams of total fat and 1.6 grams of saturated fat, 210 mg of cholesterol, 8 mg of sodium, and 2.7 grams of protein. I simply prefer to get my fat from other sources – there are so many things I like better than egg yolks, like Bailey’s, turkey pepperoni, cheese, and peanut butter.
Mid morning I had 1 cup of seedless green grapes.
PRE-WORKOUT
Greens powder, 1 cup fresh spinach, 25 grams vanilla bean protein powder, banana, and 1 cup unsweetened almond milk.
Why did I eat this before working out? It’s a mix of protein and carbohydrates: both are important in giving me the energy to power through my weight training.
I also had some frozen yogurt and 3 hard boiled egg whites after my workout. When I tell you, “there are no banned foods”, I sincerely mean that.
This froyo has probiotics, it’s fat free, and is “just” a carbohydrate.
MEAL 3
3.5 oz Bay scallops with garlic and Italian dressing mixed with brussel sprouts plus 3/4 a small baked potato topped with a pinch of mozzarella.
Notice how most of my plate is filled with the protein and veggies?
Why would I eat white potato instead of sweet potato? Contrary to popular belief, there is very little nutritional difference between the two. A 3 oz russet is 78 calories and 18 carbs. A 3 oz sweet potato is 73 and 17 carbs. Surprised?
I eat both – tonight I opted for white.
Do you find these posts helpful at all? Interesting? A waste of your time?
I received two separate phone calls this morning, asking about my diet and, more specifically, how they might begin to eat more healthy, too. I was also recently reminded of how differently I tend to eat, compared to many people. Not better. Not more superiorly just differently.
Fact, is, I’ve been eating healthy for over 30 years now – not every day, not all the time, definitely not every meal, but pretty consistently.. I don’t think about it. It’s not even that eating healthy is “second nature” to me. It’s just something I do.
Pretty automatically for the most part.
That doesn’t mean I never eat processed foods.
It doesn’t mean I always eat organic, natural, from the earth, or anything even close to that.
In fact, it doesn’t mean “always” or “never” anything.
I’m just a regular person in a regular life eating regular food.
What may be different is merely some of the choices I make about my food.
Now that I have a break from traveling so much, I plan to get back to posting about mindset, nutrition (recipes/tips) and exercise!!! To get started, and because of those phone calls, I want to show my diet over the next couple of days. I will also explain why I’ve picked certain things. Why? Because I’d love it if you came to realize you can do this too!! You really can.
==> Things to keep in mind
First: I have no specific fitness goal right now. I am not eating to gain but I am also not eating to lose. I’d be happy to shed a little bit of this “extra” travel weight but I’m not actively chasing that goal.
Second: This is merely how I am eating. If you’re interested, fantastic!! If you want or need help, please let me know. But the reason for these posts is merely to show you … I am a “regular” person living a “regular” life eating “regular” food. It does not have to be complicated nor super expensive.
Third: I have no food allergies or limitations of any kind. I am fortunate enough to be able eat whatever I want. This is not a prescription nor a meal plan for any of you.
My personal priorities are protein, water, fruit & veggies but I eat from all food groups – including fats and carbohydrates.
MEAL 1
Waffles: 15 grams protein powder, 3 egg whites, tsp cocoa nibs. Sometimes 1/4 cup oat flour (but not today).
Multi vitamin, extra iron, and Omega 3.
Pumpkin pie protein waffles topped with 1.5 tbsp peanut butter. 1 cup green grapes.
Coffee with 2 tbsp Bailey’s. Yes, alcohol!!!! Ah-va. It’s 2 tablespoons and I like it, so…….
I will have one more coffee later today but that one will have unsweetened almond milk in it.
Why did i eat this? Stating your day with a good serving of protein is critical. It’s good for your body and it’s filling. The Bailey’s and peanut butter are both fat. The grapes are carbs.
ALL DAY LONG
Water. Usually I drink my water plain, or with a little lemon squeezed in. Today I felt like having some Mio. I use one serving in a gallon of water. That’s enough for me. Yup, it’s processed. Nope, I don’t care.
If the only way you can drink your water right now, is with flavoring in it, add some flavoring.
The point is “better” not “perfect” and water is always a better choice than other beverages.
MEAL 2
Garlic, chipotle, tomato, chicken pizza
I usually have to eat lunch out of my bag, at work. Today I was home and took full advantage of the rare opportunity to cook. I made myself a chicken pizza.
1/2 P28 protein flat bread onto which I put 1/2 tsp crushed garlic and 3 tsp chipotle vinaigrette (I love this stuff so always bring my extra home when I visit Chipotle Mexican Grill). I topped that with 3 oz cubed, pre-cooked chicken (from my frig), some sundried tomato, and 14 grams mozzarella. Brown in the toaster oven.
I do not deny myself treats but I do not eat them every single time they cross my mind either. I only eat those things that I truly enjoy – not those that are just “so so”. I keep these truffles in my freezer. A serving is 3. One satisfied my sweet tooth so that’s all I had.
People ask if I always measure my food. I don’t always do anything (see the beginning of this blog) BUT, yes, I do sometimes measure my food. How else do I know for sure how much I’m eating? Relying on our mind’s ability to determine a “serving” is faulty at best.
Again, I’ve been doing this for a while so I do a fair job of eye-balling 3 ounces of chicken. If you haven’t been doing it, measuring at first, can be a great way to start. If you don’t care to weigh, you can always use your hands as a rough measure.
SNACK, PRE-WORKOUT…more protein & carbs
Vitamin C packet, 1 scoop Green Vibrance and 20 grams vanilla protein powder.
MEAL 3
We didn’t have a lot of groceries in the house (I just got home yesterday and Brent eats differently than I do, so we headed to Chipotle for a salad. Lettuce, grilled onions & peppers, grilled chicken, tomato & corn salsa with half a vinaigrette dressing. This meal provided protein, carbs, a little fat, and some veggies.
AND I WENT SHOPPING
I’ve never hidden the fact that my husband does not eat the same way I do. We are adults. I love fresh fruits and veggies. The only green “stuff” he consumes is Mountain Dew. I don’t judge him. He doesn’t judge me. We’ve been together for over 25 years. We accept each other as individuals and do our own thing.
So….I had to go shopping. Now I’m ready for tomorrow.
Do you have any questions? Let me know! Ask. Comment. Send me a PMl.
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It’s almost Halloween! Ghost, goblins, and all manners of ghoulish aberrations abound. One of the scariest things I’ve seen recently, though, is this apparent world-wide movement against movement. It’s not new but it’s been “in my face” this morning. I’ve been reading through my newsfeed for the last hour and I’ve come across the straw that broke this camel’s back!
My nice, supportive, coaching self wants to say (politely), “Yes. These are problems. Please. Please help yourself. Please help your children.” My directive, “I’m tired of seeing this”, frustrated self wants to scream, “Right?! We need to get off our damn, collective, asses. We NEED to move! We NEED to get our children moving! We need to do it NOW.”
Let me start back at the beginning and fill you in
Three articles. Three points each. Three strikes and I’m out!
As I said, there was this camel, and a straw, and, well….
The articles are well-written and I recommend you take the time to read them all, individually. They are about the “family” in Family & F.I.T. They run the gamut from daycare through gramma.
The first article is about Wodapalooza, a functional fitness competition (think Crossfit) where “world-class athletes are invited to compete on the basis of their abilities, or perhaps on the basis of their sponsor relationship.” In my own words, the gist of the article is this:
After the invited athletes are on board, other participants can register and compete in a qualifying round. These people compete in six workouts over a three week period. The top 25 males and top 25 females qualify to compete, right alongside the invited athletes.
Participants who are 50 and over, though, are treated differently than everyone else. They, too, have to complete the qualifying round but the exercises are modified. Can I remind you: this is an elite competition which, in every other category, means it’s limited to only the best of the best. No modification. No adjustment. If you don’t make the cut, you don’t compete.
AND…and, here’s the kicker….even after the individuals who are over 50 complete the qualifier, they are then placed into a lottery and selected randomly for spots at Wodapalooza. Coach McCarty explains it this way: “Imagine a radio station contest where the person who is able to keep their hand physically touching a brand new Dodge Durango wins the car. One by one, people give up, let go and go home. If I keep my hand on the Durango for three days while all the other contestants drop out, and then I have to be caller nine to actually win the car, what was the point of the competition part to begin with? Why compete, when the actual results are left to a game of chance?”
My thoughts.
I am over 50. I am a grandmother (X3). I am not ready to talk about rocking chairs.
There may be 99 reasons why I can’t complete a certain physical task. Age ain’t one of them. If I’m
competing (and it is not, nor should it be, a goal for everyone) I do want to compete against people who are at the same stage of life. I do not; however, want lowered standards. Let me do what I can do. If it’s enough, cool. If it’s not, either I work harder to prepare for the next competition, or someone else gets “my” slot.
I’m “old”. I’m not DOA.
The second article comes with a slight disclaimer. I do not agree that (all) boys are more drawn to “speed, balls, and combat” while it is (only, or even “mostly” – my words, not the author’s) girls who are drawn to gymnastics. This article reports one Toronto school’s trepidation in allowing children on the playground to (actually) play. In my own words:
Several students, ages 10 – 12, at the Toronto school have recently taken to doing back bends, cartwheels, handstands, and bridges on a grassy patch of the playground.
Concerned that enthusiasm for these challenges has been on the rise, and the fact that, according to the principal, “the staff are not comfortable with the level of risk”, children at the school are no longer allowed to partake in these dangerous activities.
It’s not an outright ban. “The policy, broadcast through the school during morning announcements, merely insists that a ‘trained spotter’ be present.” Alas, with no such trained individuals on hand during recess, the activities are – without being “banned” – in fact, banned.
My thoughts.
This is my granddaughter. I hope she is flexible and strong all of her life. I support this dangerous activity.
Our bodies are made to move!! That’s not just some trite saying. Our bodies are, literally, made to move! A babies skeleton has over 300 pieces! An adult human has 206 bones and about 640 muscles all connected by tendons and ligaments. Sadly, many adults grow into very sedentary lives and we see its toll. Everywhere! We sit in our cars to drive to work. We sit at our desks for 8 – 12 hours each day. We sit in our cars to drive home, and then sit for dinner, sit for television/computer time, and go to bed. Repeat. While this lifestyle is not good for us – – can anyone, anyone at all provide one shred of evidence to the contrary? It’s not good for us…and we should save our children from this fate for as long as we possibly can!
Developing bodies need movement even more than adult bodies do. There are thousands of studies showing this.
Strike three which caused me to get “out” of FB and write this blog. This post, by a pediatric occupational therapist, chronicles the decline of play at daycare. In my own words,
We have an obsession these days with academic success and act as though that means children need to sit. The need to read. They need to be read to. They need to go to school as soon as they possibly can and they need to focus (predominately if not entirely) on all manner of academics.
Of course we all want our children to be as smart as possible. Of course I believe (very much!!) in reading to our children, and teaching them to read. My son and I, my grandchildren and I, have had reading rituals for a very long time. I buy “educational” toys and I AM a teacher. Here’s the thing, though. Children learn via play! They learn about themselves, their bodies, movement patterns, and senses; about the world around them, about interacting with others – – by playing.
“Research continues to point out that young children learn best through meaningful play experiences, yet many preschools are transitioning from play-based learning to becoming more academic in nature. As parents and teachers strive to provide increasingly organized learning experiences for children, the opportunities for free play – especially outdoors is becoming less of a priority. Ironically, it is through active free play outdoors where children start to build many of the foundational life skills they need in order to be successful for years to come.”
My thoughts.
This is my youngest (for the time being) grandson. He runs everywhere. He’s always exploring! On this day we were learning about what happens when you throw rocks into the water. 🙂
Young children are “scientists”. They have a natural curiosity. They want to know how things work. If we ensure they are safe but leave them alone and let them figure things out, they WILL be smarter. They will learn physical, emotional, and social skills: ALL of which are required to succeed in our world.
Check out this video of my youngest boy. Can you tell me he’s not learning something (multiple things, actually) in this day of play?
The bottom line? Movement should be our goal for life.
L.I.F.E.
From pregnancy, through day care and elementary school. From raising our children, through old age, and into the coffin (or whatever means of disposal you personally have planned for what is your human form).
L.I.F.E.
Not just for 12 weeks, for the summer, only until you reach a certain age, or merely for a competition.
I’ve been on the road for 183 days, so far, this year. Typically I fly in, teach, and fly home or directly on to another class. I may travel further for my job than you do, and it might be a slightly different job, but it’s still just my job. I’m not on vacation.
Two weeks ago, though, I had two classes scheduled in Hawaii. My husband came with me and we added a few days of vacation before I went to work. It was unusual and glorious!! Let me know if you’re not tired of seeing pictures of sunrises, sunsets, hiking, and scuba diving. I have plenty more I can share.
Like you, I ate a little differently on vacation, than I do on a regular work day. Many people find weekends, vacation, and restaurants specifically challenging. For that reason, I thought I’d share some of the choices I made while traveling. It is possible to chill, enjoy vacation, and enjoy food without negating your health and fitness gains (or losses as the case may be).
On the plane. I had these choices
(A) Quest bar and coffee or
(B) Pretzels, peanuts, or airline snack boxes.
Why did I choose the Quest?
The snack boxes are filled with fat, sodium, and sugar. I’m not opposed to any of those things in moderation but travel can be dehydrating as it is. We spent 10 hours in the air and another 4 hours in airports so movement was very limited all day.
I prefer “real food” to these bars but they work very well for travel.
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about making the best choice from among the choices available.
This was actually dinner at the hotel. ===>
I don’t believe certain foods should be reserved for certain times of the day.
Why did I choose this?
After flying all day, I craved fresh fruit and some vegetables (there was spinach and mushrooms in the omelet). Egg whites are a great source for protein. My husband had a chicken Caesar salad – he felt the same way I did about getting some veggies.
We were up at 3 on the first day of vacation (there was a 6 hour time change from DC) and after enjoying Greek yogurt and fruit while walking on the beach and watching the sunrise, we left for a day of hiking.
For lunch we split a turkey, bacon, avocado club and and sweet potato fries.
Why did we split the meal?
There was so much food on the plate that we both left the table full. It made no sense to get two huge meals since we had no way to keep the leftovers.
Day 2 also began at 3 o’clock in the morning with breakfast on the beach for sunrise. We had dive boat reservations at 10. After two dives and some time on the boat, we headed to lunch. We were hungry!!!! Salt water, sun, and ocean breezes tend to have that affect on me. I ordered a Denver egg-white omelet and buttermilk pancakes. Brent ordered chocolate chip pancakes. I ate the omelet and one pancake (I brought the other two with me for peanut butter foll-up snacks on subsequent days).
Why did we order pancakes?
Why not? We were hungry. Comfort food was beckoning. Our dives totaled two hours, we planned a short afternoon hike, and another walk on the beach for sunset. There was plenty of movement today!
What we didn’t order.
Waffle & Pancake Blvd (where we ordered the delicious pancakes pictured above) had plenty of offerings we didn’t choose.
They had deep fried Oreos. I’m not a huge fan of Oreos anyway so I certainly didn’t need them battered and fried.
.
If Oreos weren’t enough, they also had deep fried cheesecake. They almost got me with this one!!
But…
I decided I would eat my food before I made a decision about ordering dessert. I couldn’t even finish my pancakes so, in the end, I didn’t need dessert. (and I didn’t feel deprived…. I was full and hate that uncomfortable feeling of being stuffed). I can deep fry cheesecake at ANY point in the future if I decide I want to. It’s not going to disappear from the earth just because I didn’t eat it in Hawaii.
Each item in my health triad: Mindset Mostly * Nutrition * Movement was considered in my choices.
How much did I move in a given day? The more exercise I had, the more hungry I would be and the more food I would eat.
Which choice would give me the protein and fresh fruit/veggies that I have set as a top priority for myself? After that, which healthy fats and carbs would I like?
It’s always mindset mostly.
I can think, “I can’t have this or that”, “Oh my gosh, why can’t I have fried cheesecake?”, “I have to be good” and other things like that. Such a mindset would leave me feeling deprived. If I can’t have something – that is the one thing I want!!
Or
I can think, “I can have anything I want on this menu. I would like to make the best choice for my goals though. First I’m going to select a protein, then I’ll select a healthy fat, and a carbohydrate. I might have dessert but I’m going to eat my meal before I make that decision.”
Do you see the difference? Do you think the different way of looking at things will help when you feel at the whim of the menu? Try it the next time you go out. Let me know how it goes.
I received this question a few weeks ago, and, earlier in the week, I had the following post pop up in my TimeHop from September 2014. The timing was perfect!
I understand, very personally, how difficult it is to be told you shouldn’t or can’t do what you planned to do: in this case, competing. I want to share my original post – and my diagnosis – first, then I’ll get back to my answer to this client.
This is what I wrote on my wall, September 2014:
“Some days you find out why you’ve never been able to hit your back pose perfectly or how to answer your posing coach when she asks, “have you been in some kind of accident? Something’s just ‘off’ with your lower back.” Some days you understand why you hitch to the left when doing heavy squats and have a hard time going atg; why your legs sometimes go numb when you run, and why you have to let the weight pull you down very slowly when you’re doing repetitive dead lifts. Some days you find out that what you had in mind for your future goals might have to be adjusted just a little bit.
That day was last Wednesday for me. I’ve debated since then whether to share the info here. Ultimately I have decided to because it might help somebody else.
I have a pretty high tolerance but our 30-day marathon road trip left me in so much pain that I finally went to the doctor’s. I have two degenerated discs and severe osteoarthritis in my neck.
This is nothing new and it has little to do with age.
My neck is from childhood injuries and I’ve known about it for a long time. It’s the cause of many headaches.
The low back pain is because I have scoliosis. I had been told that too, about 10 or 12 years ago but I filed away the annotation and never did anything with it.
No doctor since ever noticed or mentioned it and I rarely gave it a moment’s thought myself. According to this doctor I’ve “ignored quite a bit of pain” over the decade but it’s never really bothered me before. Yes, aches and pains but no big deal.
With a current nerve impingement of more than 35%, and a twisted lower spine (admit it, you knew I was twisted anyway, right?). it’s a little harder to ignore.
I want to stress that everything is absolutely okay!!
The neck issue has been there since single digits and they think the scoliosis since my early teens. It hasn’t limited me. I did a 26 mile ruck carrying 52 pounds on my back in March, got 3 trophies in a natural bodybuilding show in June, and have several other activities planned over the next few months.
This does not impact my traveling, teaching, nor coaching.
It’s not going to change my life.
It’s nothing new. It’s been there.
The only thing that has changed is that I now know why I feel the way I do sometimes and why my body does certain things.
It might impact my competing, although I haven’t made that decision just yet. I’m probably not going to have “world crossfit games” or “dead lift 300 pounds” on my new goal sheet and my pro boxing career is likely not going to happen ;-). Damn!!
The point is merely this: We all have issues. We all have things going on, physically, emotionally, in our lives….. We all have limitations and we all have to find ways to live within those. We might have to set new goals. We might have to find new ways to accomplish our goals. We do not; however (and I refuse) have to just give up.
This is my response to the question I was asked September 2015:
What am I trying to say?
Listen to your body. What works for me (or anyone else) may not work for you.
If you have suspected issues, talk to a qualified medical professional.
If you’ve set a specifically goal, what are your options? Are there safe alternatives for achieving your goal or is it out of the question?
Your longevity, health and wellness have to come first. Stay safe.
If we’ve heard it once, we’ve heard it 8 million times. “Practice makes perfect”.
Here’s the rub.
To get better at anything, even if you have some natural ability, yes, you have to practice.
Perfection, though, is an unattainable illusion.
In fact, practice makes us better, but perfect does not exist. There are (at least) three ways perfection is keeping us from our goals; be they fat-loss or just about anything else.
WE’RE WAITING FOR THE PERFECT TIME
Have you ever said…
Or, rather, how many times have you said…
“This is just not a good time, right now.
I’m super busy at work.
My husband/wife is gone.
I’m going to have to take care of the kids.
We’re having company next week.
I have that big project due at work.
Our vacation is already planned.
The holidays are approaching.
I’m too tired.
I’m too busy.
I don’t have enough money.
I don’t have the energy to even get started.”
Those things, and many more, may be very true. We are experts at creating excuses!
Trust me, if I don’t want to do something, I can give you 50 reasons – right off the top of my head – for why I can’t.
They’re all perfectly justified and they allow me to not do anything, but also negate any personal responsibility I might have.
It’s not my fault….
….I have these VERY good reasons right here for why I just can’t.
There is no such thing as a “perfect time”. Your life is never going to be calm. Things aren’t going to “settle down”. Your responsibilities are not going to go away. I’ve been waiting for years, but that personal chef has not yet appeared in my kitchen, ready to whip up delectable healthy meals for me. Damn it.
Waiting for the perfect time – because it doesn’t exist – leads to inaction.
We get so discouraged we just decide not to bother.
What can we do about it?
This is your life. This moment right here. This day is your opportunity to take one step down the path you want to travel.
Not tomorrow. Not next Monday. Not New Year’s Day. (Although there are plenty of psychological reasons we do this).
Today.
Here’s how I do it. I have to be completely, and brutally, honest with myself. I don’t believe every thought that comes into my head. I say, both to myself, and others:
“I have a whole bunch of excuses for not doing ‘this’ today, but they are just that.
Excuses.
So I have a choice in this moment.
Either I can accept those excuses, knowing that I am letting myself down, and that I will not feel good about this decision later,
OR
I can decide not to let this excuse keep me back this time.”
That’s it. That’s all. Accept or deny the excuse this one time. And then the next time, and the time after that. I’m not saying I will never accept the excuses. I’m human. So are you.
I’m just saying I am not accepting them today.
WE EXPECT TO BE PERFECT.
Hooray. You’ve decided to slay one of those excuses that’s been holding you back. You’re doing this thing! You’re going for it!
On day 1, you expect to do everything, and to do every bit of it perfectly.
Sorry, honey. It’s just not going to happen. Sure, we might be able to pull it off for a week. Maybe two. But, then….you crash and burn.
To be perfectly clear, perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. It’s not about healthy achievement and growth. Brene Brown, author, scholar, shame researcher, public speaker extraordinaire, describes it this way. “Perfectionism is a 20-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it is the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.”
I’ve read Jim Collin’s book Good to Great, several times.
Good IS the enemy of great. It makes us complacent and stagnates growth when we just decide that “good enough” is all we’re after.
But
Perfect is the enemy of good. It makes us feel over-whelmed. If we don’t face the reality that we’re not perfect, one small mis-step demoralizes and demotivates us. This is when one cookie turns into one dozen; when one day off from the gym turns into a month; and when doing your best leaves you feeling like you’re not good enough.
What can we do about it?
Take the middle ground.
Good is the enemy of great.
Perfect is the enemy of good.
How about striving for great?
It’s right there in the middle.
It IS possible and you’re already part of the way to that goal!
Understand that every day is not going to be 100% perfect. That’s ok. That’s, in fact, reality.
When it comes to setting goals, and establishing habits, Precision Nutrition recommends that we under-promise and over-deliver. What one thing have you decided to do for yourself? Ask yourself,
“On a scale of 1-10, how confident am I that I could do this every day for the next 30 days?” If your If your gut reaction is anything other than “9” or “10”, find a way to make that promise smaller or easier.
For example, instead of, “I’m going to stop eating all sweets, cut carbohydrates during the day and not eat anything after 7 pm. I’m also going to go to the gym for 30 minutes every day, 5 days a week”, why not pick one of these to start with:
“I’ll stop eating at each meal when I’m about 80% full.”
“I’ll eat what I’m eating now, but slightly less of it.”
“I’ll eat one (or one more) home-cooked meal each day.”
“I’ll eat one big salad a day.”
“I’ll add vegetables to at least one meal each day this week.”
“I’ll add protein to at least one (or two) meals each day this week.”
“I’ll add 20 minutes of exercise each day. It might be in the gym but it might just be dancing
around the house as soon as I get home from work. It might be going for a walk or actively playing with the kids/dog.”
“I’ll get two solid workouts in per week, scheduled in my calendar, and go from there.”
Focus on changing just one habit each week – or even just one habit every couple of weeks.
Ugg. That sounds so boring. How can we possibly reach our goals without being hard-core?
That’s how it works! The people I have seen make the biggest life changes, did it one habit at a time…bit by bit by bit.
WE EXPECT TO REACH A PERFECT POINT
We tend to think that we just need to workout for 12 weeks, 6 months, or “until summer’: whatever timeframe seems “reasonable”. At that point, we’ll be exactly where we had hoped to be. We will be done.
I received a message a couple of weeks ago, from a young woman who has done amazing things with her body! For the first time, EVER, she felt comfortable enough to take a selfie in her bathing suit!!! I mean, AMAZING!!!!
The problem is that she’s worried about her weight on the scale. She’s NOT alone!!! I have been doing this for a (very) long time. I counsel other people. I know the scale isn’t what we should spend our time struggling with….but…I do it too!! I am the heaviest I have ever been. It shouldn’t bother me. My husband says, I look amazing and that I have more muscle than I’ve ever had. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m still wearing the same size clothes I’ve always worn. But….that damn number on the scale. It bother me too. I get it. I’m a woman. Just like many of you, I’ve had weight pushed at me all of my life. I think I should never see higher than a certain number when I get on the scale. Just like you do.
It’s bullshit. But, there it is.
It’s not “just” inches. That’s amazing!!!!! WE need to try not to worry about some random number. How do we feel? How do we look?
Further, let me ask you this. Do you want to be healthy just for 12 weeks, 6 months, or the summer?
I hope not.
I think we would like to be fit and healthy for life.
If that’s the case, we need to take care of ourselves for life.
That doesn’t mean “be on a diet” for life. It doesn’t mean “killing it in the gym, every day” for life. It means, implementing (boring, routine) healthy habits for nutrition and exercise, for life.
For real life, which is not a sprint or a “12-week program”.
Let that sink in for just one second, because it may change the entire way you behave from this point forward.
Healthy habits are for life.
So, what if we focused on incorporating health and nutrition into our (messy, crazy, wonderful) lives, as they are, instead of trying to cram our lives into some “program”?
No, everything isn’t perfect in my life or my relationships.
No, my husband and I are not currently having problems.
No, I’m not always in a good mood. I’m not always positive.
No. This isn’t about me. Specifically. Or “you”. It’s about all of us.
No, it is not my intent to preach.
Hell, it’s not even my intent to give advice.
All I want to do is provide some observations, gathered over 5 decades of watching/studying people, and see if I can get you to think about a few things.
People frequently push my buttons, and, as you will clearly see in tomorrow’s blog, I still annoy people: sometimes by doing nothing except being myself. That’s life. I am a kind, caring, and honest person. I am more true to myself these days than I have ever been. I love helping others. Some people are still not going to like me and I don’t care to take the time to try to convince them any more.
We aren’t going to jive with everyone. No matter how open we are to “finding the good”. I do believe (with all of my being) that everyone has some good quality but it may be buried deeper than I care to expend the time and energy looking for. Sometimes establishing a relationship with “this person” isn’t worth the effort it would require from me.
That’s not what these musings are about.
What I want to talk about, is the sadness of forgetting just how important the most treasured people in our lives, are.
We all do it. To some degree. As we begin October, I see the sunny dispositions of spring and summer quickly wearing off. Those days of carefree fun and warm love are cooling quicker than the fall weather. Negative emotions are rising as the temperature begins to drop. People are becoming more sad and troubled. It’s a cycle.
Buy you know what? Relationships require work.
Yes, I said that. Regardless of how well suited you might be for one another, how carefree most days are, relationships require work. They don’t “just happen”. Things don’t magically fall into place, leaving us without a care in the world “so long as we are loved”. That stuff makes for great movies and even better music, but it’s as temporary as the vibrant leaves on these trees in my yard.
Relationships require work.
Friendships do.
Work groups do.
…and, yes, Families and coupled-relationships do.
First, take care of yourself. It’s not selfish. I saw this statement the other day and it really conveys what I’m trying to say.
But don’t JUST take care of yourself. We need to take the time, to put in the concentrated effort, to get outside of ourselves, and let the other person know how important they are.
No, they shouldn’t “just know”. No, merely saying, “I love you” (even 100 times a day) doesn’t suffice.
No, just because we do the laundry, or take care of the kids, cook dinner, or work hard at our jobs to be good providers: just because we “are here” doesn’t cut it.
Each of us is different. The things that make me feel appreciated and cared for seem petty and ridiculous to my husband (he has zero desire for me to send him flowers to work). The things that make him feel loved don’t make a lot of sense to me (I prefer to wash and wax my own motorcycle…to me, that’s an accomplishment, not an expression of love).
There are a ton of books out there and, although they’ve both been around for a long time, I have no hesitation in recommending
and
but all of the books, all of the articles, all of the studies, boil done to just this one sentence:
The love you give to the other person should be given in a way that will make them feel special. It is for them, not for you. …and vice versa.
Put some thought into it. Showing that you care doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Get creative but go out of your way to let the other person know they’re special.
We do this all the time when we’re dating. We want to! We enjoy going out of of way.
We spend hours on the phone with that person – even though we have a ton of other things to do.
We drive far out of our way (I used to bake pies for my husband and then drive 2 1/2 hours to deliver them before I went to work), and change our schedule, just to see that person.
We listen to everything they say, intently.
We cue in on what’s important to them and plan those special little dates.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Why, then, once we have decided to spend the rest of our life with this person, does much of that end? We get comfortable. We are engulfed in day-to-day routine, consumed with responsibilities, raising children, paying the bills, getting ahead…..everything
Everything takes priority and we forget to appreciate and foster a relationship with the person we care most about. It’s not even that we take them for granted. It’s that we act as though they are a bother; interrupting the “important” things we’d rather be doing.
WTH?
So, here’s something to think about. I’ve seen it in numerous places for about ten years so I can’t specifically give a proper citing and don’t know who actually said it first. It wasn’t me…but it is (oh so very) relevant.
Picture your relationship as a piece of paper. Crumple it up. Stomp on it. Twist it. Do everything short of ripping it.
This may seem a bit melodramatic, but the reality is that many times we do this very thing to our relationships.
We don’t go far enough to destroy (or rip) them but we’re certainly not too careful with that paper either. Bah. Whatever happens, happens.
Now, imagine that one day, you wake up. The other person is angry and frustrated with you. Maybe they’ve gone so far as to threaten to leave. You feel horrible. You apologize…profusely. You try to undo the damage to your paper, and your relationship. When we un-ball this thing though, it does not go back to the way it was.
No matter how much we smooth it. No matter how tender we are with it. No matter, even, if we get out an iron and work on that piece of paper for the next while, or apologize over and over, it will never been a plain, crisp, unwrinkled piece of paper.
At best, it becomes a piece of paper with smoothed out crevices and wrinkles.
Here’s the question: for each of us.
Are you treating the people you love, like they mean something to you?
One of my mentors recently shared the South African word “Sawubona” with me and I want to share it with you as my final thought.
It literally means, “I SEE YOU” as to say, “I respect and acknowledge you for who you are.”
In return, people say “Sikbona” which literally means “I AM HERE” as to say “When you see me you bring me into existence.
A few things have changed around here and I’d like to explain why.
When I first created the page, I was still competing in figure. The intent with Family & Fit was to showcase how to make one meal the entire family could eat, with only a few tweaks. I used my certifications in Sports and General Nutrition to put together recipes and nutrition tips, along with a smattering of cute kid’s stuff.
In reality, extensive travel doesn’t lend itself to making recipes with any consistency. Chipotle, Panera, egg white muffins, plain chicken and protein waffles carried in my suitcase can only be showcased so many times. I took a break from competing and, while I am still coaching a few girls for the stage, that’s never been my passion. As a certified Holistic Personal Trainer, I care more about health and function. Through Family & F.I.T., I started hosting healthy habit challenges; created a private Facebook group, and began focusing on overall health & wellness by bringing Fitness & Inspiration Together.
Working with one-on-one clients, and those in the private coaching group really proved to me that diet and exercise aren’t the problem. Mindset is where we struggle. Mindset was what most of our conversations and e-mails centered on.
Too, as my blog developed, I found that 90% of my posts had something to do with mindset. I admonished myself for this, and apologized to my readers at least once. I felt that you wanted me to write about diet and exercise. Still, every time I sat down to write, it was mindset that somehow ended up on the page.
I had always wondered about what made some people survive traumatic events, while others crumbled. I’ve studied POWs, victim-mentality, and mind-partitioning. My favorite subjects in college were Emotional & Social Intelligence. I read about neuro science for fun, and I’m a geek about Behavioral Economics, so I don’t suppose I should have found it surprising.
Still, I tried to suppress some of it…
…as time passed, I felt like I was wandering without direction and to feel (strongly) that I was doing both of us an injustice. “Mindset isn’t sexy” they tell me. “It may be what people need but they don’t want to face it.” “They’ll be turned off if you talk too much about mindset; they want nutrition plans and workouts.”
I know that is what people are chasing after. To be honest, though, you can get those things from 8 million sites online. I DO help with nutrition but it’s not that you don’t know how to eat well. It’s that you don’t.
I DO help with exercise but, you know the importance of movement. The old “use it or lose it” adage plays out all around us. We need to exercise but we don’t.
Mindset does not mean “always positive” it means, focusing our attention on becoming aware.
We struggle with mindset!
Mindset is what holds us back.
We feel we’re not worth the effort.
We put everybody, and everything, before ourselves.
We say we lack “motivation” or “willpower”.
Mindset is the hard part!! For all of us. Mindset is the reason we have multi-million-dollar supplement companies and so many “quick-fix” miracle cures.
I completed several exercises with Jill Coleman at the Best of You business retreat earlier this month. She would ask questions but only allow a couple of minutest to answer. There was no time to over analyze! You had to say the first thing that came to mind.
Here were the most telling questions for me.
What are you most passionate about helping women with?
It wasn’t “fat loss” or “realizing that they need to exercise”. Immediately I wrote, “I want to help women realize they ARE worth it. I want them to see they are stronger, and smarter, and more capable than they give themselves credit for.” You’ll notice that this is my description under “about” and that statement is also on my website.
What makes you an expert at helping them?
I have lived and breathed this stuff for 50 years. I was raised with zero self-worth. I was beaten for the first time at five months old; and for the last time at 23. Since I was 10, I was told that I brought the physical, sexual, and emotional abuse on myself.
I haven’t struggled with my weight.
I haven’t struggled to exercise.
But, I have struggled with mindset and I have also successfully changed my entire life.
I still have to remind myself that I’m worth it but the reminders are required less and less these days. AND I know this is something I’m good at. I’ve received messages from people, for a very long time, telling me that I have made a difference in their lives. Few things make me more proud than receiving messages from women like: “I am starting to actually care about myself – because of you”, “I am beginning to live in the moment, thanks to you.” “No one has ever cared about me the way that you do”, “You are so brave, and when I hear you talk about your experiences, I feel like I can be brave too.”
Long story short you will still see recipes, nutritional tips, exercise suggestions, and health related information on Family & F.I.T. But you are going to see a lot more about mindset (not all unicorns and rainbows either: not optimism but positive & negative, yin & yang).
You’re going to see a lot more about personal responsibility and an abundance mindset versus one of scarcity.
A lot more about not judging ourselves or others.
From here on out, this page is about
Mindset Mostly * Nutrition * Movement
I have created this life though a series of personal decisions – and with a whole lot of love and support from people who cared deeply enough to let me be vulnerable without using that against me. It is my deepest desire to help others accomplish the same thing. I feel like I’ve found my path and those closest to me agree. One of my friends said, “This mindset thing looks good on you!” I have to tell you: it feels pretty damn good too!!
