Mindset Mostly

Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.

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A few things have changed around here and I’d like to explain why.

When I first created the page, I was still competing in figure.  The intent with Family & Fit was to showcase how to make one meal the entire family could eat, with only a few tweaks.  I used my certifications in Sports and General Nutrition to put together recipes and nutrition tips, along with a smattering of cute kid’s stuff.

In reality, extensive travel doesn’t lend itself to making recipes with any consistency.  Chipotle, Panera, egg white muffins, plain chicken and protein waffles carried in my suitcase can only be showcased so many times.  I took a break from competing and, while I am still coaching a few girls for the stage, that’s never been my passion. As a certified Holistic Personal Trainer, I care more about health and function.  Through Family & F.I.T.,  I started hosting healthy habit challenges; created a private Facebook group, and began focusing on overall health & wellness by bringing Fitness & Inspiration Together.

Working with one-on-one clients, and those in the private coaching group really proved to me that diet and exercise Screen Shot 2015-09-29 at 11.43.36 AMaren’t the problem.  Mindset is where we struggle.  Mindset was what most of our conversations and e-mails centered on.

Too, as my blog developed, I found that 90% of my posts had something to do with mindset. I admonished myself for this, and apologized to my readers at least once. I felt that you wanted me to write about diet and exercise.  Still, every time I sat down to write, it was mindset that somehow ended up on the page.

I had always wondered about what made some people survive traumatic events, while others crumbled.  I’ve studied POWs, victim-mentality, and mind-partitioning.  My favorite subjects in college were Emotional & Social Intelligence.  I read about neuro science for fun, and I’m a geek about Behavioral Economics, so I don’t suppose I should have found it surprising.

Still, I tried to suppress some of it…

…as time passed, I felt like I was wandering without direction and to feel (strongly) that I was doing both of us an injustice.  “Mindset isn’t sexy” they tell me.  “It may be what people need but they don’t want to face it.”  “They’ll be turned off if you talk too much about mindset; they want nutrition plans and workouts.”

I know that is what people are chasing after.  To be honest, though, you can get those things from 8 million sites online. I DO help with nutrition but it’s not that you don’t know how to eat well.  It’s that you don’t.

I DO help with exercise but, you know the importance of movement. The old “use it or lose it” adage plays out all around us. We need to exercise but we don’t.

Mindset does not mean "always positive" it means, focusing our attention on becoming aware.

Mindset does not mean “always positive” it means, focusing our attention on becoming aware.

We struggle with mindset!

Mindset is what holds us back.

We feel we’re not worth the effort.

We put everybody, and everything, before ourselves.

We say we lack “motivation” or “willpower”.

Mindset is the hard part!!  For all of us.  Mindset is the reason we have multi-million-dollar supplement companies and so many “quick-fix” miracle cures.

I completed several exercises with Jill Coleman at the Best of You business retreat earlier this month.  She would ask questions but only allow a couple of minutest to answer. There was no time to over analyze! You had to say the first thing that came to mind.

Here were the most telling questions for me.

  1. What are you most passionate about helping women with?

It wasn’t “fat loss” or “realizing that they need to exercise”.  Immediately I wrote, “I want to help women realize they ARE worth it.  I want them to see they are stronger, and smarter, and more capable than they give themselves credit for.”  You’ll notice that this is my description under “about” and that statement is also on my website.

  1. What makes you an expert at helping them?

I have lived and breathed this stuff for 50 years. I was raised with zero self-worth.  I was beaten for the first time at five months old; and for the last time at 23.  Since I was 10, I was told that I brought the physical, sexual, and emotional abuse on myself.

I haven’t struggled with my weight.

I haven’t struggled to exercise.

But, I have struggled with mindset and I have also successfully changed my entire life.

I still have to remind myself that I’m worth it but the reminders are required less and less these days.  AND I know this is something I’m good at.  I’ve received messages from people, for a very long time, telling me that I have made a difference in their lives.  Few things make me more proud than receiving messages from women like: “I am starting to actually care about myself – because of you”, “I am beginning to live in the moment, thanks to you.”  “No one has ever cared about me the way that you do”, “You are so brave, and when I hear you talk about your experiences, I feel like I can be brave too.”

Long story short you will still see recipes, nutritional tips, exercise suggestions, and health related information on Family & F.I.T.  But you are going to see a lot more about mindset (not all unicorns and rainbows either:  not optimism but positive & negative, yin & yang).

You’re going to see a lot more about personal responsibility and an abundance mindset versus one of scarcity.

A lot more about not judging ourselves or others.

From here on out, this page is about

Mindset Mostly * Nutrition * Movement

I have created this life though a series of personal decisions – and with a whole lot of love and support from people who cared deeply enough to let me be vulnerable without using that against me.  It is my deepest desire to help others accomplish the same thing.  I feel like I’ve found my path and those closest to me agree.  One of my friends said, “This mindset thing looks good on you!”  I have to tell you:  it feels pretty damn good too!!


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  1. (Standing ovation). BRAVO!!! For starters – for pursuing and following what YOU are passionate about! Figuring that out is a major feat (one I am currently struggling with). And your willingness to be open and recognize what wasn’t working and fill it with what is! That’s great!

    1. Thank you so very much, Lisa!!!!

  2. Hooray!!!!!!!! Can’t wait to read your posts, Tamara! Thanks for the shout out. xo

  3. Thanks for the inspiration, my friend! I would love to check out your FB group some time. I love to see how great coaches do their thing, as I continue aspiring to doing coaching one day… xo

  4. You are welcome. The group is “just sitting there” right now. It’s people I’ve helped in the past who needed or wanted continued support. It’s pretty informal – just support and a place where people who don’t feel comfortable “out there” have a place to hang. I’m running to an appointment right now but will add you in the next day or so. xo

  1. […] I met through the Women’s Fitness Summit and we both have an interest in studying mindset, so her post today resonates loudly for me. Check it out! I will be sharing my own thoughts about mindset going […]

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