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Date registered: February 3, 2015

Latest posts

  1. We Believe Things Because We’re Scared. Breast Cancer Shouldn’t Be Your Biggest Concern. — April 30, 2023
  2. Just Say, “No”. I Don’t Want to Take the Medicine. — May 25, 2018
  3. Why Can’t We be Honest with Ourselves? — February 25, 2018
  4. 5 Actionable Steps for New Year Goals — January 4, 2018
  5. False Assumptions and Rainbows — September 30, 2017

Most commented posts

  1. Waist or Waste? You Can’t Have it Both Ways. — 11 comments
  2. False Assumptions and Rainbows — 9 comments
  3. Are Other People Making you Eat? — 9 comments
  4. Build Your Best Self While You Sleep. 10 Tips to Help You! — 8 comments
  5. Avoiding a Train Wreck: Curbing Emotional Eating — 8 comments

Author's posts listings

Apr 30

We Believe Things Because We’re Scared. Breast Cancer Shouldn’t Be Your Biggest Concern.

“Imagine you’re sitting in a restaurant and someone at the table next to you collapses on the floor with a heart attack.  You call 911 and immediately start CPR but in vain.  The paramedics cover the body with a tablecloth and you drive home silently thinking of the suddenness of it all. 

In your mind, reading that paragraph, did you picture the victim as a man or a woman?”

Most people picture a man but statistically, it was a woman who collapsed and died at the next table.  Heart disease kills more women than men.  Heart disease, for all of the images of a man clutching his chest, is a women’s disease.  We all have our secret dreads.  Many women fear breast cancer the most, followed by ovarian cancer but the number one killer of women, by a huge margin, is heart disease.”

MY COMMENT:  Cancer sucks.  I mean absolutely no disrespect with this statement, in my opinion there’s been a lot of really good marketing for breast cancer.  Professional sports teams wear pink, there are annual fundraisers, everyone is aware of this horrible killer. 


While “fear of specific illnesses is universal, it’s important to plan and live your life based on what is (ACTUALLY) most likely to kill you rather than what you’re most afraid of.”

FACT:  “More women die of heart disease each year than of all cancers combined!  Ten times as many women die of heart disease than breast cancer.  In fact, cardiovascular disease kills more women than the next seven causes of death, combined.” The CDC lists heart disease as the leading cause of death in the United States. Number one. It’s been the leading cause of death in our country since 1918.

FACT: Two thirds of strokes happen in women. 

FACT: Two thirds of women have no warning symptoms before their first heart attack. 

FACT: Two thirds of women never recover full function after a heart attack. 

FACT: Two thirds of women who survive strokes, suffer severe disability for the rest of their lives. 

The extraordinarily good news is that most cardiovascular disease is avoidable.  The numbers vary among researchers but 70 -80% of heart attacks and strokes are caused by lifestyle.  By the long term effect of choices we make every day.  That means that making different choices, starting with exercise, can change your life.  The most sedentary women are 5 times more likely to die than the fittest women.  Exercise both reduces the risk and increases survival for breast cancer, colon, and uterine cancer – and not by small numbers. The increased survival for breast cancer, for example, has been as much as 50% in some studies.”

“Be sure to get your mammogram but keep in mind that routinely exercising (at the level to at least break a sweat) is 10 times more likely to save your life.  Partially by reducing the risk of cancers but mostly because, contrary to the picture we have in our heads, it is cardiovascular disease that kills women. It’s all about circulation. Being sedentary is formally classified as a major risk factor for cardiovascular disease , increasing risk more than smoking or high cholesterol.”

READ THAT AGAIN: Being sedentary is a major risk factor for cardiovascular disease, increasing risk more than smoking or high cholesterol!

From the book, “Younger Next Year” (there is a version for men and one specifically for women) by Chris Crowley and Henry S Lodge, M.D.  This is my third time reading the book and I recommend it to all of my students.  Available in print and on Audible. 

May 25

Just Say, “No”. I Don’t Want to Take the Medicine.

Family & F.I.T.  |  Debbe Hatch

Yes, I’m sharing my own personal medical results.  That’s my prerogative.  


I am not looking for advice, nor am I giving any.  This is my personal experience.  If it helps you, great.  If it’s just an interesting story (or rant) for you, great.  I have no ulterior motive or goal.  I’m not selling or trying to convince you to do anything – except maybe stand your ground in advocating for yourself.


I’ve spoken about my headaches, here, before.


They were the worst when, as a teenager, I first started menstruating.   I would lay in a dark room, curled into the fetal position for a day or two each month.  The headaches went away for years.  Now, they’re back with a vengeance.  They last three to five days. Sometimes longer.  They always come either just before or just after my period.  That made me believe they’re hormonal.   


I have all of the tell-tale signs of a 53-year-old woman entering the next stage of life.  I’m not menopausal but it’s coming.  My periods have changed.  I’m occasionally dizzy, anxious, irritable, and a little depressed.  I’ve had a few hot flashes and night sweats.  Brain fog is a real thing!!  It, insomnia, and the continual fatigue really suck.  I sometimes have a hard time remembering words (and sometimes really simple things like the name of the neighborhood where I live). The headaches are my most concerning symptom.  Not having the doctors listen to me is the most frustrating. The last three primary care providers I’ve had refused to send me for hormone testing.  One did test my iron levels…  Um.


I go to the doctors for my regular paps and mammograms – rarely for anything else.  That means, when I do go, there’s likely a real problem.


Frequently, the pain of the headaches causes vomiting.  I suck it up.  I travel like this.  I teach like this.  I live life like this.  I am not able to just stay in bed for 3-5 days, or more, a month. 


I’ve studied hormones and peri-menopause.  I’ve read everything I could get my hands on.  I’ve attended classes, seminars, a summit, and several webinars.  I’ve listened to numerous podcasts.  I am not the first person to go through this.  My primary care doctors have refused to refer me to an endocrinologist.  I’ve received multiple lectures about how “medicine is a practice, not a science” and “we’re not going to engage in quackery like hormone testing until all other options are exhausted.”  One doctor said, “I have issues too.  I don’t know what you expect us to do for you.”  One said, “I cannot refer you to an endocrinologist until you try all of the medications available, first.”  She gave me a prescription for Topamax.  


COMMON side effects of Topamax include:

  • tiredness,
  • drowsiness,
  • dizziness,
  • nervousness,
  • numbness or tingly feeling in the hands or feet,
  • coordination problems,
  • speech/language problems,
  • changes in vision,
  • sensory distortion,
  • confusion,
  • slowed thinking,
  • trouble concentrating or paying attention,
  • memory problems,


Do these sound like things I should voluntarily have more of?  I don’t think so.  They wanted me to take the pills every day.  I don’t have a headache every day.  I’ve refused to take the medication.  Some people who love me agreed with my decision.  Some people who love me, and have seen me deal with the headaches, suggested I try medication if there’s a chance it might work.  


I’m not against medicine when we know why we’re taking it and what it is supposed to do.  We have some amazing things available to us today.  I’m not a doctor and I have no interest in playing one.


Here’s what I wanted.  Data.  I wanted to know why I am getting the headaches – or at least, a likely cause.  I do not eat a lot of processed foods.  I have super low blood pressure (sometimes it doesn’t break 100).  I exercise 4-5 times a week.  I take care of myself.  I wanted information.



Yesterday, I paid out of my own pocket to have my hormones tested.  It was $199 but I had my answer within 45 minutes.  No surprises!  Many levels are far below optimal.  Armed with the information, now I can make a choice as to whether I’m going to just “ride it out” or do hormonal supplementation (bio identicals or synthetics), and to what degree.  Now I can consider my options based on facts – not just take medication after medication until I find something that takes my headaches away, regardless of what other things they may cause for side-effects.



Here’s the part that makes me angry.  I came from a very poor family.  My sisters and I didn’t just share a room – we shared a bed.  I was a single mom for several years after leaving a physically abusive marriage.  I am fortunate at this point in my life to be able to afford $200 out of pocket for hormone testing.  Years ago, I definitely could not have done that!!  Many of my friends still can’t.  Many women are left to merely take the pain medications their doctors generously prescribe in hoping for relief. 


It’s just wrong.  

Feb 25

Why Can’t We be Honest with Ourselves?

Family & F.I.T.  |  Debbie Hatch

I don’t buy into or share much of the “motivational” mumbo jumbo online. There are so many, they become irrelevant. They’re too simplistic and frequently little snippets taken completely out of context.
We like them.  They fill us with an emotion but don’t cause us to do anything.  
Is that inspiration?
Someone told me last week, “you’re inspirational.”  She reads all of my posts, loves seeing pictures and videos of me in the gym, is super supportive of all the things I do.  Thanks so much!!  But…she doesn’t do one thing different to take care of herself.  Am I inspiring her?  OR merely providing a diversion for, “what things might be like for someone else?”
As I sit here on a Sunday morning, in the quiet of 630, finishing my espresso and seeking motivation to actually get something done, this came across my screen.
It did seem like something worth adding to and sharing.
Here’s the truth:
We’re all getting older.
All of us.
We have a choice in approaching that stage of our life as healthy as we possibly can or merely letting time run its own course without any intervention.
Me? I prefer to control what I can. I prefer to be in charge.
Here’s the truth:
Yes, we’re busy.
We’re all so busy.
We have so many other things to do.
We have so many conflicting priorities.
Besides, life is short.
We should just enjoy ourselves.
Here’s the truth:
That’s not exactly how it works.
You need to be a priority too. Now. You need to take care of yourself. It’s never too late to begin but most of us don’t start exercising for the first time when we’re in our late 70s or 80s.
I prefer to add life to my life. Now. Feeling strong and capable; going through life with fewer aches and pains IS enjoying myself. Even though that means I take 30-60 minutes each day to focus on exercise. Even though that means, I don’t have dessert with every meal or a plate of cookies every time I feel like it.
I don’t care what you weigh or the size of your clothes.
I do care that you take your health seriously.
Doesn’t matter to me whether you run, walk, do yoga or pilates, bike, canoe, take kick-boxing classes, or dance around the house with your dog. Doesn’t matter to me whether your weights are 5 pounds or 50 so long as you’re challenging yourself (and being honest about what that really means).
Flexibility, strength, and endurance are all critical as we age. Protein, fruits, and vegetables are good for you: that’s not up for debate. Approaching the next stage with some muscle mass (since we lose it during the normal aging process) is smart! Remembering our cardiovascular system needs to be worked, makes sense.
Do something for you.
Something YOU like to do.
Who cares whether it’s something your mom, sister, spouse, best friend, or neighbor does.
Something you will actually do, over the long term.
DO something despite how many other things might have to wait or (gasp) not get done.
Thinking about it doesn’t help.
This picture of me was taken in the gym last week.
Taken the same day a 33-year-old man told me, “You look great. I’d love to start lifting weights but I’m too old.” Yeah, me too.
This is 53. This is 100% natural. This is no supplements except protein powder and decent nutrition. Five amazing little humans call me, “gramma”. This is busy. This is running two businesses and traveling 200 days a year. This is a LITTLE Bailey’s in my morning coffee. This is ONE frozen chocolate chip cookie every day. This is me enjoying life as I plan to do for as long as possible. This is not me bragging or screaming, “look at me”. This IS life because of the priorities I choose day in and day out.
YOU are worth 30-60 minutes a day. That still leaves you 16 hours a day (assuming you sleep 8 hours each night…and who does that?) to do all the other things.


Jan 04

5 Actionable Steps for New Year Goals

Family & FIT  |  Debbie Hatch

I’m a little late posting here.  I shared the information on Facebook back on December 31st.  It’s still – come one, we’re only 4 days into the new year – incredibly relevant.  I want to preserve it for the long term.  So…here goes.

It’s here. December 31st. That magical day when we all change our lives for the better!!

Only. Not really. 80-92% of all NYE resolutions fail by February!

I saw the most appropriate quote this morning. “Getting into shape isn’t something you, ‘do’, it’s how you live. Resolution people fail because they believe working out cancels out all the bad in their lives that led to getting out of shape.”

Just as medicine frequently only masks symptoms; forcing yourself to exercise only masks other issues.


STEP ONE: Address the root causes.

Why are you not taking care of yourself already? What are the triggers that cause you to eat the pint of ice cream and family size bag of chips while laying on your couch in front of the tv? Why aren’t you moving your body even though you know it makes you feel better?


Think about that. Honestly. Write down your thoughts.


STEP TWO: Add 20 minutes each day to your schedule. This is non-negotiable personal time. It’s only 20 minutes!

Set a timer first thing in the morning. Take 10 minutes to think about what you want your day to look like. Not just a to do list – but how you’d like to feel too. Write this down. In an old-fashioned paper notebook. Keep it with you.


STEP THREE: Follow through.

As we go through the day we make a series of decisions. What should I eat for lunch? Dinner? Should I have this treat? Can I fit in time for a walk? Etc. stop for 30 seconds prior to each decision and ask, “does this fit with my goals for the day?” If not, “what choice would?”


STEP FOUR: Review your progress daily.

Before you go to bed, set your timer for 10 minutes. Write down your thoughts about the day. What are you pleased about? Where did you not reach your goal and – this is important – how will you change that situation next time it comes up. It will come up again!! Plan for that.


STEP FIVE: Commit to doing this every single day for 30 days.

At that point, set aside a full 20-30 minutes to review what you’ve accomplished in the month. NOT where you failed but where you succeeded. Celebrate your wins.



I’d love it if you’d be willing to share your goals for the new year. Putting them in writing is an affirmation – it can help you achieve your goals.


Sep 30

False Assumptions and Rainbows


Family & F.I.T.  |  Debbie Hatch

I’d like to talk for a minute about false assumptions and rainbows.  


FACTS:  I’m a personal trainer.  

               I’m certified in nutrition.

               I’m pretty good at what I’ll call “bull-dogging”

                             …setting goals and not letting go until I have accomplished them.  


Because of these things, many people assume I must exercise and “eat right” all the time.

  • These are both false assumptions. 


First of all, there is NO right or wrong way to eat!!  What people usually mean when they use those words is that I only eat “low fat, low sugar,  ‘healthy food like fruits and vegetables’.”



Here is the truth about my diet.


Everyday that I’m home {Every. Single. Day.} the first thing I do, when I get out of bed, is eat one frozen chocolate chip cookie and drink a cup of coffee.  I put a splash of Bailey’s in that coffee.  Every. Single. Day.  I’ve been doing this for seven or eight years.  If you want proof of these statements, I can provide references! 


Here are three further facts you need to be aware of though:


(1) It’s only “every day I’m home”, and I’m only home two or three mornings a week.  I spend a lot of time on the road for business.

(2) I don’t have Bailey’s with a little coffee.  I have coffee with a little Bailey’s.  It’s a regular sized cookie – not 3 cookies made into one.  I don’t eat cookies all day.  I don’t stuff my body with fat, sugar, and things like that all day.

(3) I always follow-up my cookie and coffee with a high protein meal (pretty typically either protein waffles/pancakes or an egg white omelet).


Here is the truth about my exercise.



I’m prepping for my first ever powerlifting meet right now.  I work out 4 days a week, normally for 30-45 minutes each time.  I spend that entire time lifting weights. 






I do not get on the stair stepper, elliptical, bicycle, nor treadmill and gut out an hour of cardio.  Ever.  Not because “cardio is bad” no more than “food is bad”.  Not because cardio doesn’t serve a purpose.  Cardio IS good for our heart, lungs, and circulatory system.  I do very occasionally add in a short run, some rowing, go to a class, or do a video both because I like to, and because they’re good for me.   Most of my cardio comes from walking, sprinting, or hiking – because I enjoy those things and – another fact – if I don’t like it, I’m not going to do it.  The same is true for you… 


Hours of cardio is what many people believe is required in order for them to lose weight.  

  • That’s a false assumption.  


Diet and exercise are both critical components of losing weight – AND staying healthy.


Sleep and stress reduction have a lot to do with it too!  Increasing muscle mass is an excellent way to lose fat and reshape the body.



So what does the rainbow have to do with any of this? 


I snapped a photo of the rainbow over my back yard, this morning.  It was only there for a couple minutes, but long enough for me to see it.  Long enough for me to sit on the porch sipping the coffee and eating the cookie my husband made for me, and enjoy its presence. 


It was there long enough for me to think, “I might only come home for weekends but, I’m so glad I DO get to come home for the weekends – to enjoy this place and these things.”   It was there long enough for me to consider the fact that so many people make false assumptions about my “healthy life” and to realize that I wanted to (once again…) share the truth.  The only reason I wrote the blog is because of the rainbow.  Is it waxing poetic to say, “I’ll consider it a little bit of gold”? 


Jul 21

Strangers Aren’t the Ones we Need to Fear Most

Family & F.I.T.  |  Debbie Hatch
If you have been or are currently in a domestic violence situation, this message comes with a trigger warning.
Other than that…
I am not going to sugar-coat this.
I am not going to try to word it tactfully.
I am not going to apologize if this upsets you. It should!
It upsets me, too. A LOT.
I grew up in a home where, more than once, I went to bed thinking my mother might be dead before morning. She’s had multiple broken bones and countless injuries over the past 45 years. I have multiple friends who have been in abusive relationships. I’ve been the recipient of domestic violence myself, numerous times. In my experience, it is not strangers that I’ve needed to be fearful of.
I also worked as a dispatcher for the State Police. So…I’m not surprised at this headline. “Most female homicide victims are killed by husbands or other intimate partners.”
I am; however, shocked, incredibly sad, and very angry at this stated fact:
“A report out Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention states that homicide is the FIFTH LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH FOR WOMEN AGES 18 TO 44. In 2015 alone, 3,519 women and girls were killed. More than half of these killings were perpetrated by current or former boyfriends, husbands or other intimate partners.”
It’s incredibly difficult to do.  I know that.  Women stay for a variety of reasons.  I know that, too.  But…get help.  Please.  It doesn’t get better.

Jul 11

People who Workout Frequently are Still Just People

Debbie Hatch  |  Family & F.I.T.

The recent move to Nebraska is #19 for me.  I have an affinity for that number (Ka) so that’s cool.  We’ll have at least one, maybe two, more moves before we settle into a “forever home”.  There have been a lot of transitions for this small town, Maine girl, over the years.  I don’t complain – although there have been some assignments that initially concerned or scared me; one time when I hid from my husband so he wouldn’t see my cry at the news; three times when he watched me cry because we were leaving people I loved and I just couldn’t hide it; and some places I don’t care to ever return to.


For the most part, though, this is just a normal part of life for military families and it’s been pretty amazing.  I view every move as a big adventure. In talking to some of my friends this week, we don’t know whether we love it or hate it.  To be honest, for  me it’s a constant melding of both…




There are new places to explore. New things to do.  New people to meet.  It keeps me from getting into much of a rut because nothing stays the same (except family – that’s the one constant, and SO very important).



You, and every single thing you own (material things of financial value but most importantly, those things that have only great emotional value – the clothes you brought your babies home from the hospital in; their kindergarten drawings and homemade Christmas ornaments, etc) have to safely make your way across the country, or the globe.  There are new things and places to learn.  We need to find a new vet, new doctor, new dentist, new hairdresser, bank, grocery store, insurance carrier, and so much more.


  • IT’S SAD

We’re always saying, “see you later” (which is goodbye a large percentage of the time although none of us like to put it that way) constantly. Either you, or your friends are moving.  I’ve left my sisters (which hurt) and both of my children (which hurt even more).  I have honed an ability to disconnect from people and places.  Good and bad.  It can be hard to make friends. The situation sometimes hurts people because I don’t always cry when I say goodbye.  This transitory lifestyle has an up-side though.


We have friends all over the world.  We really do have a second (military) family.  We have the ability to not see people for years, yet fall into easy, comfortable conversation the next time we do talk.  It keeps me appreciative of things and relationships when I have them.  I know, for sure, everything in life is temporary.  Many people never realize this until it’s almost too late.




This reflective mood has been brought on by the fact that today I will go to a new gym.  My realtor gave me a month’s free membership to a local barbell club.  Perfect!  I’m excited but also super anxious. As much time as I spend in the weight room, and as long as I’ve been going to the gym, I’m comfortable in that environment.


It’s still not easy though.  People who work out frequently are still just regular people.  It’s a new place.  New environment.  New people.  I’m a private individual for the most part so none of this really thrills me.  Will I fit in?  Will this be a good fit for me?  Will I feel intimidated or make a fool of myself?


I want to go – but I don’t.  Know what I mean? 


I will. 


We’re busy and in the middle of a cross-country move.  It would be easy to say, “I can’t” and at least partially convince myself that’s really true.  But I’d only every partially believe it.  So I will get dressed.  I will make the drive.  I will take a deep breath and walk inside.  I will do my workout.  It will all be okay…it’s just a little uncomfortable.


Places don’t become home…

People don’t become friends…

Situations don’t become comfortable…

Unless we put ourselves out there.

Jun 09

What Do You Do When Life is Insane?

Family & F.I.T.  |  Debbie Hatch


Things are about to get (more) insane around here.
My kids and grandchildren are all traveling to my house over the next 36 hours. We’ll have 6 adults and 5 kids. It will be loud and chaotic. It will be crazy. It will be amazing. I’ll be knee deep in babies and I’ll be loving it. We’re going to have so much fun.
They will all be here for a week.  #mycrewe
The same day they leave, I’m leaving. We all have a 6 am flight. I’ll be on the road for business for 2 straight weeks, holding a TSP webinar, and also indulging in an annual girls’ weekend between those commitments with 3 of my very best friends. #vegasgirls
I have to catch a red-eye home at the end of that trip, to have a closing on our new house. We will then have 3 days during which the packers will be here; everything will be boxed up, we’ll have our final home inspection, wrap up things in DC and hop in the truck and drive from here to Nebraska.
There will be a little stress.  #thisislife 
I’ll handle it by remaining steadfast in my commitments to myself.
==> I WILL WORKOUT. If I don’t make it to the gym, I’ll run, play on the playground with the babies, dance, or do something with my exercise bands.
==> I WILL FIND SOME TIME TO WRITE every day – even if it’s only 5 or 10 minutes before I get out of bed.
….because if you only work on your goals when life is uncomplicated and not stressful, you’re never going to work on your goals.

Jun 03

Alpha Maiden for the Month of June

Family & F.I.T.  |  Debbie Hatch


My friend, Jordan, hosts a site designed to inspire, support, and empower women. She puts it this way:


Alpha Maiden‘s Mission is to empower women to become physically strong, mentally tough and to develop the skills and tactics to stay safe.


Jordan asked me to be her Alpha Maiden for the month of June.  I was humbled, and flattered. I accepted immediately but then (as I typically do) I began analyzing everything.  AM I an Alpha Maiden?  What does that really mean?  It took me a week to drill through everything and write something on the paper.  When she published the bio, she said,


l am so excited and honored to announce the Alpha Maiden of June.  She is one of the strongest (in mind and body) women I know!  From riding choppers to practicing Krav Maga and being a business owner too – she’s about much more than what we see at first glance.


I love that!  We ALL are so much more than we appear at first glance.  We all have a back story; it’s just that not everyone knows (and not everyone is entitled to know) that story.  Several of my friends and I, after having bared our souls to one another, have asked, “What if, instead of meeting people, we met their stories?”  What if we were able to know what someone had been through?  What their life experiences were?  I think we would have very different relationships!  We would be more kind and compassionate to others.


I am sharing, here, what I wrote for Alpha Maiden both to create a permanent record for myself but also to reach as many people as possible.  To teach.  To help.  To inspire if possible.

To be honest, I’ve had a difficult time with the title “Alpha Maiden”.

Am I one?  If so, why?  What makes me so?

Oh, there are the “obvious” things I suppose.
Those things on the surface that people like to look at.
The accomplishments.
The list.

Between 45 and 52, I’ve competed on the figure stage several times. I finished my master’s degree:  was certified as a holistic health & fitness coach, in nutrition from two different agencies, and as a mindset specialist. I’m closing in on a 300-pound deadlift and I will have that by the end of this year.

I am managing two very successful consulting businesses and spending a couple hundred days each year on the road.  I published two books and started practicing Krav Maga. I have been a military spouse for over 22 years; a military mom for 15.  Neither is a job for the weak. I’ve kissed my husband and both of my children as they headed off to war. I cried, at some point, every day they were gone.
I have a lump in my throat just typing that.


I continue to ride my dirtbike and chopper.  I’ve flown half-way around the world to scuba dive.  I did a 26.2 mile ruck, wearing combat boots, and carrying a 52 pound pack.  I am smarter, stronger, more physically fit, and more confident than I have ever been in my life. I am a grandmother to 5.

To be sure, it’s a decent list with some pretty bad ass accomplishments in a relatively short period of time.

None of these define “alpha ” for me, personally, though.  It has to be more than that.





I am a survivor.  

From the time I was 6 months old until I was 26, I was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused. I was told routinely that I brought such things upon myself; that they were my fault.  At times I believed it.

They really weren’t my fault, though.
I know that now.

I kept quiet for too long.  I refuse to be quiet any longer and let other women feel like they are the “cause of their abuse”.  I won’t let them think it’s “their fault,” they “deserve it,” that they are “alone” or “the only one”.


They aren’t.
I’m not.

This has happened to many women.  It’s happening now.  Maybe to your sister, mother, or friends.  Maybe to you.


It’s a discussion we need to be willing to have.  

If someone else can use my voice as a beacon, I provide it.  There is hope.  I’m here.


I am a warrior.

I have been a warrior from the beginning (a name my sister gave me) and I carry this shield with pride.  My battle has frequently been for others.  I have, quite literally, taken the hit to save someone else.  I was the person who broke the cycle of abuse at home, not because of what happened to me but because it had started to happen to my sister.  I was a single mom for a few years after finally getting out of a physically abusive relationship.  We lived on welfare and food-stamps.  I remember one time when my son and I had nothing but a 50-pound bag of potatoes to eat.  I fought, not for myself but to make a better life for my children.

I have struggled with self-confidence and shame my entire life. I struggle to feel good enough – in my skin, in my head, in this world – to feel like I’m “worth it”…even still, sometimes.

I refuse to accept limits, though, and it doesn’t matter if those are placed by someone else or self-imposed.  I was afraid of public speaking; now that’s what I do for a living.  I’m afraid of heights, so I climb.

If anyone else can use my strength as an example, I offer it. I’m here.


I am an Alpha Maiden 

because at no time, have I ever considered myself a victim. I refuse that label and the limitations it would imply.  I went through some stuff but even when life was horrible, I knew somewhere deep in my soul that I would get out. I didn’t know how but I knew I would.  I vividly remember laying on a grassy hill when I was 12 or 13, dreaming with my eyes open, that everything would be okay…and it is.

Remembering where I came from, and that many are still in that place; I am obsessively passionate about living every single second of life and about coaching others on possibility.  I’ll try just about anything but I don’t just want to learn.

I want to teach.  It’s at my core.  When I learned to scuba dive, I continued until I was a Dive Master, certified to teach others.  I’ve taught basket-weaving, human resources, conflict management, leadership, scrapbooking, retirement & financial planning, and even taught a couple of people to drive motorcycles.

Family & FIT
is an online community where I teach people how to embrace life by setting an example through mindset, sustainable nutrition, and movement. In that order.


Mostly mindset is a tagline I frequently use. #MostlyMindset

Mindset really does matter most.  Mindset, more than physical strength and toughness is what makes me an Alpha Maiden.  It was mindset that allowed me to survive the situations I’ve been in.  Mindset that kept me going.  Mindset that refused the title of “victim”.  Mindset that drives me to share with others.

Let me be clear, mindset isn’t a bunch of meaningless affirmations.  It isn’t perpetual optimism.  It’s not “being happy all the time”.  Mindset isn’t feeling one thing but telling ourselves we should feel something else.  It is about doing the best we can, with what we have available (time, money, strength, fortitude, energy) at the time.

Mindset is realizing we are in control.  

I couldn’t stop people from hurting me when I was a child.  I could escape into the safe recesses of my mind, though.  I could make myself physically tough so the abuse wouldn’t hurt as much when it did come.  I could hide.  I could plan.   I could wait.  I could, eventually, speak.

We are stronger, smarter and more capable than we give ourselves credit for. Mindset matters most.

If anyone can refer to my mindset as their inspiration, I give it freely. I’m here.


May 21

Action Begets Action

Family & F.I.T.  |  Debbie Hatch

Is there something you dread preparing for, but actually love, once you’re “doing” it?


I’m currently updating my behavioral profile and organizational leadership course. I’ll be presenting this in a few weeks.

Every time a customer asks me to teach this class, I groan. Ugh. Not that…..


It’s not outlined in regulations or law, like so many other things I teach. It’s not clear cut. It’s about behavior, human relationships, interaction, connection, and emotional intelligence. This stuff can be difficult and messy.





Yet, I haven’t taken this class off my curriculum list.  




Because, every single time (without exception) I teach this class, I really get into it and it ends up being one of my favorite things to teach.    




Some times (not often to be honest because this is an engrained habit for me) I don’t feel like going to the gym – yet, once I’m inside and I start moving – I feel great.


I’ve never regretted making the time to exercise.

I’ve never regretted teaching this class.

That’s one of my issues with the “If you don’t like to do ‘this’; if ‘this’ doesn’t make you happy, just don’t do it. Just quit – on the studying, the book, the relationship, whatever doesn’t thrill you every single second.” mentality. If that were the case, I would simply be scuba diving every single day, and laying on the beach. Unfortunately dive gear, traveling to, and/or living in exotic locations with the kind of diving I like to do, costs money.


Sometimes you have to put in the work, you have to trudge through the challenging pieces to get to the easier patches.  Sometimes things don’t get easier but you get stronger.  





Being outside your comfort zone is – well – uncomfortable……



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