This is the second blog I’ve written about the Unleash Your Greatness Summit I was fortunate enough to attend a couple of weeks ago. The first covered Bill Phillip’s talk which was focused on how to simplify taking care of our bodies. This one discusses Michele Promaulavko’s presentation entitled “You Have Control Over your Genetic Destiny”.
Michele Promaulavko
Michele is an author, Editor-in-Chief of Yahoo Health and has appeared on the Today show, CNN, Fox News, and The Tyra Banks Show. She is a charismatic speaker and I love the topic of epigenetics so I found the presentation to be phenomenal.
I’ve been hearing a lot about this topic from Dr. Mike T. Nelson too, in my Mindset Performance Institute curriculum. I can’t wait to share all of that with you! When I attend training, it’s a win-win for both of us! Sincerely.
Without getting too scientific, genetics is the study of hereditary traits: it’s those things passed in DNA from parent to offspring. Epigenetics is the study of how those genes respond to external input (for example, our diet, environment, physical exercise, etc).
Epigenetics tells us that through lifestyle choices, we actually have a lot of control over our genetic destiny. We do not have to be bystanders in our lives, or slaves to our DNA. We can be active participants.
The really amazing fact is that by making changes in your life, not only do you have an impact on how your genes express themselves, but you influence which genes are passed to your future family members.
I’m not making this up! Changing your habits can, in fact, impact your children and their children!
This recent study shows that 3 months of exercise causes significant changes in the DNA found in sperm. The DNA itself did not change but what was passed on to the offspring did!! I just finished a class about understanding obesity, through the University of Edinburgh. One lesson reported on several studies showing maternal nutrition has long lasting effects on offspring as well (for multiple generations)!
I don’t know about you, but I think if there was ever a reason to exercise, the fact that we can impact future generations, should rank pretty close to the top of that list.
A fellow believer in holistic health (meaning that we are not a grouping of isolated body parts but; rather, that the body is a “system” with each piece affecting others), Michele talked about three specific areas we should focus on.
Weight Training
Strength training is one of the most overlooked aspects of health. This is incredibly sad because it can provide so many benefits – to your body and brain. Lean muscle burns more calories – even when you’re doing nothing. Weight training impacts joint mobility, bone density, and body composition. I am big believer that physical strength begets mental strength as well – it gives us confidence and makes us feel powerful.
Proper Nutrition
Food is all around us and we make choices every day. We need to get a large number of those decisions correct, if we hope to have an impact. The problem is, there is soooooooo much information, it’s like a fire hose coming at you and it is easy to become overwhelmed. There seems to be an argument for every new diet going.
Here are two simple facts to keep in mind:
Lowering refined carbohydrates, sugar, and processed foods: increasing protein, fresh fruits and vegetables, is best. (In today’s environment I always feel like I need to add a disclaimer – I’m not saying to ban that first group of items. I’m saying to lower your consumption of them).
Small changes add up to big cummulative benefits! Don’t worry about the next 3 months. Make a healthier choice for this one meal. Then work on the next, and then the next.
Stress Reduction
Mitigating stress is one of the most profound things you can do for your total body. It enhances physical, emotional, and mental health.
There is little question that we’re over-stimulated these days. More work, more school, more meetings, more activities, more electronic gadgets, more commitments…
As part of any wellness practice, you need to find a way to decompress. Some examples include meditating, taking a bath, yoga, sharing a meal with friends, working out, getting a massage, taking a 5 minute break to walk outside. Do some CNS breathing: breathe in slowly for a count of four through your nose. Hold for a count of 5-7 and let it out through your mouth for a longer count. Do this 4-5 times. Get off your electronics 30-60 minutes before bed. Go to bed earlier – even if it’s just 10 minutes right now. Add another 10 minutes later.
Find what works for you and then take the time to do “that”. It’s not self-indulgent. It’s self-care.
Check in with me once in a while and let me know what’s working for you so that I might share your tips with others.
Many people will be celebrating with family & friends tomorrow. Many people won’t. I believe every one of us has an abundance of things to be thankful for. Some have more than others. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, I hope you won’t let food be a major cause of anxiety and stress.
Here are 6 tips for approaching the holiday – from a “diet” perspective.
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1. Start THANKSgiving with gratitude.
Think for just 5 minutes about what’s good in your life. Reflect on those things.
2. Have a conversation or two.
If you’re, physically, lucky enough to spend time with people you care about – really SPEND time with them. Put the phone down for a few minutes. Shut off the computer for a while.
If you’re not able to be with the people you love, call them.
3. Decide your food non-negotiables.
For example: I will have pumpkin pie – “real” home-made pumpkin pie. My daughter will have sweet potato casserole. My husband will have mashed potato and gravy.
4. Let some things go.
There are no rules for this holiday. That means, there is no reason you need to have everything.
For example: i will not obsess over food but I will start filling my plate with turkey first, then veggies, and then a little stuffing. I will not eat a brown-n-serve roll or mashed potato and gravy merely because – for me – those things aren’t anything special. They add nothing to my enjoyment of the meal.
5. If some is good, more isn’t necessarily better.
More isn’t better. Better is better.
After you finish your plate, wait a few minutes before you go back for seconds. Think about it: Do you really want more or are you going back for seconds just because that’s what you always do?
This meal is not a competition to see who can eat the most. There is no rule that forbids us from leaving the table until we are in a food coma. Eat what you want but remember how uncomfortable that over-stuffed feeling is? Not a lot of fun.
Tomorrow is not the last day you are going to ever be able to eat. Pie, potato, rolls, dressing will all continue to exist in the world on Friday – and beyond.
6. Don’t fall into the “you will need to repent for every morsel you eat” trap.
I have been seeing posts since Halloween, and today it was leveled-up to videos listing how many calories are in this or that type of food and how many calories you can burn by doing this or that type of exercise. That stuff is complete BS!!! You do not have to “earn” your meal and you don’t have to “pay a penance” for it, after the fact.
There should be no “gobble wobble” unless it is this kind.
One day of enjoyment is not going to “ruin” you, just like one day of dieting is not going to make everything wonderful. It’s just a day. A day in your life. A day to be thankful for.
Do you Timehop? I love the program and its little daily memory joggers of times gone past. Like this one:
I travel – a LOT. As I stated in the original post, I have had very few issues with TSA: domestically or internationally. When I posted this original status, I was deep in the middle of prepping for an NPC figure competition.
Air travel + competition prep = some pretty ridiculous stories.
In all seriousness, though, if you are flying for the holidays, knowing how to pack your carry on for a quick and easy trip through the TSA security line, can limit stress and aggravation.
Firearms, knives (even small jackknives), box cutters, swords, scissors, baseball bats, screwdrivers, hockey sticks, hammers, axes, cattle prods and the like are forbidden in carry on luggage.
I don’t think anyone will find this list surprising.
What makes me raise my eyebrows is knowing there is a factual reason why each item was specifically written onto the list. I mean, seriously, I’m not even allowed to bring my ice pick on the plane! What to heck? Doesn’t everybody travel with an ice pick?
You can, though, carry food through security, if you would like to.
Let me stop here for one moment. Why would you bring food with you, anyway?
NOT because you can’t eat food purchased at the airport but because…
– Sometimes flights are delayed (especially during busy holiday seasons, and/or when there is a chance of foul weather),
– Sometimes you don’t actually have enough time between one flight and the next, to grab something.
– Airport food can be expensive, and choices limited,
– Airline cookies, crackers, or pretzels aren’t the best way to fuel your body,
– You want to have more control over what you eat vs being at the airline/airport’s mercy,
– You have dietary restrictions, or
– Maybe because you have a competition coming up in the very near future and you are limiting what you eat.
The only thing, other than weapons listed above, that are limited, are liquids, gels, aerosols,
creams, or pastes. Each traveler is authorized only one quart-sized bag of these times. Each item inside the bag is limited to 3.4 ounces (100 milliliters).
That means, food is fine (I routinely carry protein bars, protein powder – along with an empty shaker which I can fill with water inside the airport, tuna packets, fresh fruit, and nuts) but no yogurt, peanut butter, pre-made protein shakes, jelly, hummus, or items of like consistency.
Here is the official TSA food list.
As deep as my peanut butter addiction runs, there’s absolutely nothing on this list I can’t live without for a period of time (PS it’s easy enough to have nuts, instead of nut butter). That said, if I simply must have these items, I do have options.
I can bring individual serving sizes. In fact, a number of companies (like Minimus) sell nothing but travel-sized items.
I can buy items, at the airport once I have cleared security.
If you’re planning a trip, during the holidays or after, domestic or international, and you want some suggestions for what you can and cannot carry on the plane, shoot me an e-mail. I’d be happy to help.
A good friend recently shared this picture on my Facebook page. I adore it!
I have spent a ton of time, over the past 12-18 months, working on mindset so I am very aware of the tremendous difference between having a full mind and being mindful. That hasn’t always been the case.
I know, first-hand, how easy it is to get caught up in being busy, busy, busy…….
I have been a perfection-striving, over-achiever, my entire life. I gave up weekends with my children, in order to work and focus on being promoted.
I “had to”. “People were relying on me.” “It was important”.
Those are the stories that ran in my head. Oh I used to tell myself, “My family is the most important thing to me!”
but….when it came right down to it, I certainly wasn’t acting that way.
It took getting a text from my teenage daughter that read, “Mom. I miss you. I haven’t seen you in an entire week” for me to reassess.
Wow!
My mind was full…
I was busy and stressed out.
For the past decade, I have been running my own business and spending about 200 days a year on the road. It’s easy to allow all the travel and commitments to take over my life.
As hard as I strive not to let that happen, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been reminded that I still have some work to do! This is my slow season. I have been home for 10 days – the longest stretch I’ve not been on the road, since June or July.
Sure, I still have plenty of things to do. I’ve been catching up on paperwork, governmental reports, and strategic planning. For the most part, though, my scheduled has been my own. I have appointments but I set them. I have responsibilities but I decide when to complete them throughout the day.
I have taken the time to add a walk into this schedule, every day. I have been to two yoga classes (first time in three years!!). I have taken time to be alone with my thoughts.
It’s been almost magical.
Just taking this time to clear my mind and be more aware has allowed me to feel so (so so so) much more relaxed, focused, centered, AND PRODUCTIVE.
That’s the part that surprises so many people. How can I be more relaxed and, at the same time, more productive?
Rather than being busy, I’m spending time doing the things that are important.
The fact is, we can’t do everything. There are 24 hours in the day. We need to stop doing some things if we expect to find time to do the things that are important for us. Recently, I’ve been saying, “no” more.
We all have commitments. There are things we have to do. Work and responsibilities exist. For all of us. But…
Considering what’s important, – what’s truly important – in this short life, and making that a priority can literally change your life. It’s not an exaggeration. It’s not a concept. It’s not something that only a few (weird) people can experience.
You might not have the ability to completely change your routine right now. Building in some quiet time, though, even if it’s only a few minutes a day will provide tremendous benefits!
Start by trying to be aware.
Aware of how you really feel,
Aware of yourself and your environment,
Aware of what you say is important – what you’re treating as important – and considering whether those things are aligned or disconnected.
Here’s one thing I’ve heard recently that helps me do this. I listened to a podcast several months ago. I don’t remember who it was but they suggested not asking, “if I were to die in a week, what would I do between now and then” but rather,
Harsh? Maybe! But, also, very true.
“if the person you love most, in the entire world, were to be diagnosed as terminally ill, today, what things would you do differently? What things would you give up to be with them? What things would you still find the time to do?”
THAT is definitely a quick way to assess what’s important!
That would have caused me to make a number of decision differently.
I love learning even more than I love teaching. As such, I’m constantly reading, studying, and going to any variety of seminars/classes. Last week, I was fortunate enough to attend the Unleash Your Greatness Summit. It was awesome!
Bill Phillips, the Editor of Men’s Health Magazine (the largest men’s magazine in the world) did a presentation entitled, “The Power of Just Doing ‘Something’ Every Day.” His talk was focused on how to simplify taking care of our bodies.
I adore two specific things he said.
1. “I would love to be able to tell all of you that I go to the gym every day and that I am the fittest person you’ll ever meet. The reality, though, is that I have two kids in travel soccer, an 80 hour a week job, and it’s just not realistic. I do what I can. The best workout is the one you enjoy doing and the one you’re actually going to do.”
That means:
If you like working out in the gym with a trainer – do that.
If you like walking, or jogging, or running – do that.
If you like to dance – do that.
If you like playing basketball – do that.
If you like follow along videos on your TV – do that.
If you like biking – do that.
When we talk about health….h.e.a.l.t.h. It’s for life. We make it so much more complicated than it has to be. Do something every day.
Personal example: My niece called me crying the first day she went to the gym and got on an elliptical. She was completely frustrated because she could only do it for two minutes. I talked to her and got her to stop crying. “It’s not that you can only do two minutes. It’s that you CAN do two minutes. Do two minutes today, two more minutes tomorrow, and maybe three the next day.”
She now does cardio 20 minutes three times a week and has lost over 80 pounds. One step at a time. One minute at a time.
Start where you are right now and build from there.
2. “I hate diets because they begin and end. You can’t be on a diet for your entire life. You need to find a way to apply moderation to your nutrition. You have to have a mindset change in order to change your life, and you have to realize this is FOR life!!!“
The only thing he didn’t say was, “I got this quote from Debbie Hatch” because he certainly could have!!! So much…..YES!!
Personal example: There have been numerous times when I’ve been physically (typically because of my crazy travel schedule) unable to work out. Yet, being mindful of my nutrition has actually caused me to maintain, if not to lose fat. Even though I wasn’t exercising. More than a few of my clients have experienced the same results.
By the time the sun came up, we had driven from DC to Harrisburg, PA
Like many other people, my husband and I are traveling to see family for the upcoming holiday. We were up at 3 o’clock this morning, and left the house by 4:30. I spend a lot of time on the road, but today my ride was a Ford F-150 rather than the more typical Boeing 737. Pros and cons. Pro: I’m not limited to what will fit into a carry-on. Con: it’s going to be a 12-hour trip (maybe more depending on traffic and because we’re towing a trailer).
Staying healthy on the road can seem a formidable task for those not accustomed to it. We have a tendency to relax, eat whatever is available, not drink as much water as we typically would, and exercise considerable less. Holiday travel is especially challenging because we take on the mentality of, “I’ll be eating a lot on Thursday anyway. What difference does it make?”
Here’s the problem with that type of thinking. When we start eating as if the holiday starts on Saturday (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, or even Wednesday), it will continue through Thursday night. On Friday, there will be leftovers to take care of. By then, we’ll be getting close to Christmas (Hanukkah, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Ramadan, or Festivus) – and then we’re getting close to New Year’s. Ah, to heck with it, we might as well wait for January and start fresh at that point. Right?
The holidays themselves aren’t the problem. Unless you have an impending physical competition, enjoy a piece of your grandmother’s pecan pie or Challah French toast. Try some of your sister’s cornbread stuffing, latkes, mincemeat, or potted cheese. Those of us fortunate enough to be able to celebrate, should be grateful for the opportunity. Enjoy family, friends, and yes, food.
Thanksgiving is on Thursday though. Today is only Saturday. If I were to start celebrating today and go through the start of the new year – what began as three days of celebration would have become two full months.
Many convenience stores are offering a wider array of options.
I had this in the back of my mind this morning. I also know that my husband doesn’t like to stop for anything except gas and potty breaks. Both at the same time: we stop for gas, go to the restroom, and also grab something to eat from the gas station or travel plaza. Occasionally there’s a Subway or McDonalds but otherwise it’s convenience store food or whatever I brought with me.
I prefer to plan for my own success and I like options. I know that eating nutritious food makes me feel better (more alert, less bloated, and just “lighter” overall). Adding more salt and fat than I’m used to can upset my stomach. Who wants that while traveling?
Lemon protein waffles with fresh raspberries & a coffee to go.
I started my morning, as I always do, with protein, carbohydrates, and some fat. I also packed a small cooler with almonds, apples, ground turkey, sweet peppers, squash, salmon packets, hard-boiled eggs, protein powder, Quest bars, and water.
Mid-morning I had a Greek yogurt and water.
I also had a coffee at Starbucks.
Lattes and frappaccchinos can carry a huge wallop of calories, fat, and sugar.
I just get a tall coffee, with a shot of Christmas blend espresso and 1 pump of sugar free hazelnut.
How Often Should We Eat? This is one of those questions that everybody has an opinion on. Some think we should eat 3 meals a day; some think 6; some advocate only 2. I think it requires a bit of personal experimentation. There are foods you like that I don’t. There is a way of eating you may prefer and I might not. I do best with 4-5 small meals spaced throughout the day.
For lunch, my husband decided to stop at McDonald’s. I contemplated getting something there as well (fish or chicken sandwich, scrambled eggs, or a salad) but nothing particularly appealed to me so I had spinach, squash, chicken, and cranberries from the cooler.
How Could I be a Health Coach and “Allow” my Husband to Eat This Way? Some people act as though my husband should eat and exercise the way that I do. We’re different people. We like different things – from hobbies to food. My husband is a grown man. He makes his choices and I make mine. That’s the way it always has to be with adults.
I know it doesn’t always seem like it. I have many female clients tell me, “I’d like to watch what I eat but, my husband expects me to eat with him. He expects me to have what he’s having.”
That’s an excuse.
That might seem harsh but I’m not one to sugar-coat. We might not want to hear it, but…
That’s an excuse.
We are responsible for our own decisions. I’m not saying make two options at every meal. I’m just saying we can decide – from whatever has been prepared – what and how much to put on our own plate. We can decide whether we want to snack or not.
We can decide to say, “No. I’m not really hungry right now. You go ahead and have some ice cream. I don’t think I’m going to have any.” It’s hard because the truth is we really want the ice cream. If we don’t have any but he does, we feel like we’re missing out. Oh my gosh, what if he eats all the ice cream and there’s none left? (The answer, of course, is that we can buy some more tomorrow – or, heck, even later today).
Blaming my husband for having ice cream and therefore “making me have it too” is much easier. Eating a Big Mac with fries and then saying, “I wouldn’t have gone to McDonald’s but that’s what my husband chose, so…” takes the responsibility away from myself.
To be clear, I’m not villainizing ice cream – or McDonald’s.
If you want it, have it.
I’m saying
Don’t have it just because somebody else is.
Don’t complain about your food choices.
Don’t play the “poor me, I can’t have that” card.
Don’t die-t!!
Make consistent nutritional choices for YOU – and own that decision.
As the sun sat, we were still on the road but had made it to Maine.
Dinner was a quick stop at Panera.
fuji chicken apple salad with dressing on the side, apple, and a glass of water.
Two weeks ago I volunteered to take the Army physical fitness test. It’s not the first time. I’ve taken the Air Force test several times as well. Last year I rucked 26.2 miles with my favorite soldier; both of us carrying packs weighing over 50 pounds.
Why?
Am I a masochist? Which the dictionary defines as “Someone who obtains pleasure from suffering mental or physical pain, punishment or humiliation.” Am I trying to prove something? Why do I like taking PT tests and running military obstacle courses when most of the people I know who are actually in the military hate those things? Why in the world would I voluntarily walk 26 miles through the dessert, carrying a big heavy backpack.
Voluntarily!!
Ah. That is the key. That little word right there.
I am voluntarily choosing to do these things. Just as easily, I could choose to quit if I want.
Nobody told me I “have to”.
My military family and friends are required to do these things. They must, and if they choose to quit, there will be heavy consequences including a whole host of mandatory programs and retesting.
Do you see the difference?
This is true for everything. We hate to be told what to do. We hate to be limited. We hate mandates. We inherently rebel against these things.
Why would trying to make health and fitness changes be any different? How many times have you, “gone on a diet” and been told (or told yourself), “you CAN’T have that” or “you can ONLY eat this”? You “have to.”
What happened?
What typically happens is that we obsess over the things we’re not “supposed” to have. I normally only have carrot cake two or three times a year. I love it but I don’t keep it in the house and I don’t bake it so that’s just typically the way it works out. It rarely crosses my mind. If you told me this afternoon that I could not have carrot cake. I would want nothing but carrot cake. I would think about it all the time.
When you look at this picture, what are you thinking about?
I know this for a fact. When we lived on Okinawa, there were no granny smith apples on the island. None. After a while, it seemed like every commercial that came on television, every show, and every magazine I received in the mail, contained granny smith apples. They were sitting in a bowl on the table, somebody was eating one, or they were somewhere in the frame. I obsessed about those green apples. They were everywhere – except my grocery stores. All I wanted was a granny smith. Some months later, we flew to Guam for a week and I ate 3 or 4 apples a day. Every single day.
What does this mean in the health and fitness arena then?
It means YOU have to choose to make a change.
You have to be the one to decide to forgo this or that.
You have to be the one to decide to make time for exercise.
You can’t – you won’t – do it just because you’re told you have to. Even if the person telling you to do it is your doctor, your spouse, your mother, or one of your children.
YOU have to determine why you want to lose weight, quit smoking, eat healthier, have your annual health screenings, and the like. You.
None of it works if you’re not ready to make a change.
Mindset might not be sexy (I mean, I think it is but that’s just me) but it’s absolutely critical!!!
My passion is teaching and coaching. Always has been.
Yelm, Washington
Formally I have taught scuba diving, basket weaving, public speaking, fitness (personal training), nutritional habits, planning for retirement, conflict resolution, scrapbooking, customer service, leadership, supervisory skills, and human resources. Informally much, much more. It really gets me excited when a person I’m working with “gets it”. When the light bulb comes on and they’ve truly learned something!!!!
There have been countless such moments but one that I specifically want to share in this post.
I want to talk about scuba diving. Yes, under-water Jacque-Cousteau-esque scuba diving and, yes, your health and fitness. Give me just a minute to make my point.
I should probably start by telling you that several of my friends claim I have an ability to relate any topic back to whatever I’m talking about at the time. I suppose that’s true but it’s just because I see lessons in everything. I love to learn even more than I love to teach – and the way I do that is by linking things together; by picking out whatever it is about “this thing” that relates to something I already know and building from there.
Sea turtle dive, Oahu
Here’s the story. As a Dive Master (think assistant instructor) working with a class off the coast of Destin, Florida, I was assigned the most skiddish, most nervous person for some additional one-on-one. This was her first open water (not in the swimming pool) dive. She was petrified! Worried about going under water. Worried about “what if this” and “what if that”. She thought she wanted to do this but now she wasn’t so sure.
With some gentle coaxing, a firm hold on her shoulders and a directive “look at my eyes…nothing else”, we started to slowly descend. I could feel her start to calm down. She looked at nothing but my face. Before she knew it, she was on the bottom. We settled for a second and then she turned around. I could see the excitement on her face. She was “there”. She had done it! Before long, she was swimming beside me waving her hands excitedly and pointing to this fish; wanting me to see that plant. It was all so new. It was so amazing. She could barely control herself and more than once she tried to talk through her regulator.
I LOVE this stuff!!!! I’m excited (again) just sharing the story with you!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 times a million.
Okay. Cool story but what relevance could this possibly have to health and fitness?
Five different things that I can immediately think of – and likely much more if I were to give it any amount of thought.
I. While the “big picture” definitely has its place, taking in too much all at once can be overwhelming.
Drift dive, Palau
Changing your entire way of eating, going from zero to six days a week of exercise, quitting all caffeine and becoming a calmer person is just too much change at one time. In fact, we’ll see this very scenario play out en mass in just a few short weeks. People expect to wake up on 1 January as completely changed individuals – renewed, refreshed, and perfect. No vices whatsoever. Focused merely on peace, health, fitness, and happiness.
Having goals is admirable and wanting to improve yourself is fantastic! There are proven reasons for why so many of us like to change on dates like New Year’s. But nothing magical is going to happen during the night on 31 December while we sleep. We shouldn’t expect to wake up on 1 January, a completely different person. Narrowing our view and focusing on only one change at a time will work better.
II. There is value is having a support system. Whether it is a friend, a family member, or a coach who’s been there, done that.
Deep dive, Chuuk
Having someone to hold you accountable, push you a little bit, but also support you and be there to bolster your resolve can be a total game changer.
It doesn’t have to be forever but it sure is nice to have someone there when you’re first getting started.
III. Focus on what you’re trying TO do; not the thing you’re trying to stop doing.
Okinawa, Japan
I didn’t tell my dive student to stop worrying, stop thinking about what was going to happen or stop anything. I told her to put her regulator in, to look at me, to let the air out of her BC, to start to descend.
One step at a time. One new thing to DO. The stop-doing stuff just happens on it’s own as we focus on something new.
IV. It’s important to celebrate the little steps toward your major accomplishments.
Somewhere in the Pacific
The girl I was working with wasn’t certified at the end of our dive. She still had to complete another dive, and take her written test. There’s no guarantee that she’ll be completely comfortable in the water every dive after this. But…she thoroughly enjoyed THIS dive. She wasn’t worried about the next one, or her test. She didn’t think about the past or the future. She was thoroughly excited about what she was doing in the present. This moment. Now. She was happy. (So was I!!)
V. Plan your dive. Dive your plan.
This is a safety provision every diver learns in one of his/her first classes. By developing a plan before the dive, you know how deep you can go, how long you can stay there and whether you’re going to need to complete a safety stop or not. You don’t have to make things up as you go. Diving your plan means staying within the parameters you’ve set: doing what you said you were going to do. Keeping to your goals.
Whatever your goal is – above or below the surface, make a (logical, realistic) plan and then stick to that plan. It’s absolutely okay (maybe even necessary) to make minor adjustments as you go along but you don’t just throw out the plan and create a brand new one, in the middle of your dive.
If I had a dollar for each of the “survive the holidays diet”, “3-day ‘pre-detox'”, “wrap”, “cream”, “pill”, “powder”, and/or “shake” messages I’ve seen come across my FB feed, in the last couple of weeks, I would have enough to celebrate Thanksgiving in the Caribbean. …with several of my friends and family members.
I typed, “Survive the Holidays” into Google and netted 28,500,000 results in less than 45 seconds!!
And a “pre-detox”? WTH? Yup, it turns out that really IS “a thing” – I saw it a few times yesterday, AND received an e-mail besides.
First, let me be clear. Many people DO struggle through the holiday season. It’s not a happy time for everyone. Some people are alone and feel isolated. Some are struggling with money, stress, relationships, or any other unless number of things. Some people have lost family members, jobs, homes, or love in the past and the holidays can reopen those wounds, regardless of how much scar tissue has accumulated on top. This may result in a case of the blues, or clinical anxiety and depression. Please don’t hesitate to seek professional assistance from a qualified mental health professional if you’re struggling. That’s not what this blog is about.
I want to talk specifically about the “Survive the Holidays” DIET craziness. Now, it too, began with a basis in fact.
There are holiday parties, both at work and within our other social groups. It has been proven that we eat more in groups. Everyone else is eating. We eat mindlessly – putting food into our mouths, washing it down with tasty beverages, while we’re talking. That plate of food is gone before we can even muse, “yum. Meatballs! I need this recipe.”
There are tasty treats everywhere. Pie. Cookies. Donuts. Egg nog. Mashed potato with gravy and sweets with marshmallows. Fudge and chocolates. Hot chocolate (with marshmallows and whipped cream). Cake.
The days are shorter so we feel less motivated to exercises when it’s dark as we get out of work.
It’s starting to get cooler – adding that to the early darkness, we feel more like curling up on the couch than going to the gym. It also leads to craving more warm and hearty foods. We drink less water.
We are under more stress to get it “all” done. We have our regular commitments and responsibilities but now we also need to find time to go shopping, make food for and attend the increased gatherings, and ensure we are actively carrying on family traditions. Stress increases cortisol which can suppress the immune system, increase blood pressure, and increase fat storage.
BUT….
Here’s one thing you might be surprised to find. Numerous studies, conducted since 2000, show that:
Holiday weight gain actually averages 1-2 pounds vice the 5-7 we frequently see reported.
That said, it’s not all great news. Even though it’s only 1-2 pounds, we typically don’t shed that extra weight later. Next year, it’s another 1-2 on top of this, and next year, and next year. The other thing worth noting is that, while there’s less weight change than many report, there may be increases in body fat.
Here’s a question: if studies show the average weight gain is 1-2 pounds, why do we hear higher numbers then? Here’s a better question: where are you hearing the higher numbers from?
Answer: Marketing based on fear that YOU will gain 5-7 pounds and you “shouldn’t”. You’re hearing this stuff from companies that have some type of weight loss or “health related” product to sell you. Marketing 101.
Here’s another question: if you do gain a few pounds, is it a “disaster”? Probably not. Will you be thrilled? Maybe not. Can you mitigate it now though moderation? Probably. Can you change it later though consistent application of reasonable nutrition and exercise habits? Probably so.
Calling it a d.i.s.a.s.t.e.r. might be a tiny bit melodramatic.
The holidays are times when most of us get to see family and friends we don’t see all the time. We take more time to relax, chat, talk, and laugh. They come once a year. Holidays are not something we should try to “survive”.
Should we eat every single morsel of food we see?
Do we need to eat everything somebody offers us? Do we need to have one of everything at the office party even though much of it really isn’t that tasty?
Should we eat as if Thanksgiving (insert your favorite holiday) is the last day food will exist on the earth?
Should we drink the entire bottle of rum vs just putting a little bit in our drink?
Probably not the best ideas.
We can (and I do) make modifications to our recipes to lower fat, sodium, carbs, calories, gluten, sugar, or whatever. But do we need to make low calorie, no carb, zero fat, paleo, organic pumpkin pie that even my neighborhood raccoon wouldn’t eat from the trash?
Do we need to measure every morsel of food we put into our mouths; do a pre-detox three days out; spend all day (and night) Friday in the gym “working off” our meal AND eat one meal a day for the two weeks following the holiday?
Hell, NO!!!!!
How will I survive the holidays?
Like I survive every other day, except with a more full heart, and a few more people around me.
I will get some exercise (I have, historically, done a 5K Turkey Trot in the morning. I don’t “have to”. I “like to”. I find it fun. I take family with me so we can enjoy it, and each other’s company. It’s more than just the food.)
I will make sure I drink some water throughout the day. As I’m cooking and working around the house, that will be my drink of choice.
I will have my normal protein and carb breakfast (rather than “saving those calories” for later).
I will focus on the people around me and enjoying limited time with them.
I will fill my plate first with some type of protein, then with vegetables, and then with starch. I am, though, going to have a little bit of everything that makes this holiday special to my palate. (For me personally, this will mean brazil nuts, cuties, turkey, cranberry, sweet potato, squash, a roll AND pumpkin pie with – a fair amount of – whipped cream.)
I will stop eating before I fill myself to the point of being uncomfortable.
I will clear the food and put it away, once we are done eating. If it’s sitting out, I will pick…and I don’t need to. I’m not depriving myself but I’m also not hungry. I’m eating “just because”.
I will get a little more movement in, in the afternoon. This is when I chase my grandchildren around, we go for a walk, play soccer, or make our way to the playground.
I won’t act as though Thanksgiving to New Year’s is one continual holiday. On most days, I will make mostly reasonable choices for my meals.
When I’m eating, I will take the time to enjoy my food. I will sit with it, or at the very least stand in one place. I won’t mingle while munching because I know myself and that turns into way more munching than anything else.
For all of us. Not just me. Not just you. The “experts” too!!
Thinking about sitting right where you are and waiting for your life to start – at some point, some day….
Realizing that life is actually passing you by, is scary!! Scarier!!
I am my own worst enemy and I’m really good at feeding that insecurity monster, questioning my own abilities, not feeling quite good enough. Ever. That little voice in my head is a B*&^%!!!! She doesn’t like me to dream too big. She doesn’t like me to get too confident. She doesn’t want me to live up to my full potential. She wants to keep me, and my goals, my dreams and my life….small. Do you have one of these internal trolls?
That story I have on perpetual replay in my head will stop me from doing ANYTHING if I listen to it. The narrator of that story is a liar. I listen to her but I call her out on her untruths too. Frequently.
Here’s what that looks like. I remember the first time I gave a speech – in the 7th grade – wearing my classmate Sharon’s puffy vest with a tube of chapstick in the pocket because she told me if I kept my hands in my pockets and concentrated on taking the cap off and on, it would help with my nerves. It did help!!
From there, I entered a couple of oratory competitions. Think that seems kind of weird for a person who’s scared of public speaking?
Well, if you’ve known me more than 5 minutes, you also know that I push myself out of the comfort zone constantly. I don’t like being uncomfortable so I make myself do these things until I’m no longer “as” scared. I believe – with my whole heart – that FEAR is (quite typically) false events appearing real. The stories I’ve written in my head about what’s going to happen have always…without exception to this point….been worse than reality. So, yes, I entered several speech competitions specifically because I hated public speaking.
…and, I gave a speech at my high school graduation – without a vest and without chapstick. 🙂
From those meager beginnings, I have been public speaking “formally” for 11 years. It’s my full time job. I created a business based on it.
It actually makes me laugh when I think about it. I mean, I had horrible anxiety speaking in front of that 7th grade class, and now I do it 3-5 days a week. Oh, my first few months were, AGAIN, incredibly scary. I stayed up all night, studying. I’d teach until 4; sweating, stammering, and stuttering. Back in the hotel, I’d sleep for 3 hours and repeat. It was NOT a lot of fun. I was exhausted. I was continually stressed. I apologized when I started class that “the material isn’t overly exciting and I’m not a trained instructor.”
Wow! Talk about throwing yourself under the bus!! I would NEVER have said that about anyone else! With friends like that (inside my own head) I certainly don’t need enemies!!
It was ONLY when I got to a point and said,
This is bullshit and it can’t continue. I know what I’m talking about. I have a choice here. Just do it or give up. One or the other.
that things started to get better.
One morning (no doubt I was likely sleep deprived and not thinking too logically) I literally just threw my notes in the garbage on my way out of the hotel (so that I would have no option to retrieve them when I got to the classroom) and decided to “wing it”.
Holy crap!!!!! I was nervous starting the day but I was far, far less nervous than I had been before.
I’ve been winging it ever since. Considering I travel and present about 200 days a year (197 last year) it seems to be working.
When I started my own company, I was scared. Really scared. I gave up a steady salary for the “possibility” that I might have work. I didn’t know what to charge. I didn’t know how to get customers. I didn’t really know how to teach. I was uncomfortable. So I made myself do it. I studied. I practiced. I got better. I have an excellent reputation and customers now ask for me by name. I’m very proud of that. It was a lot of hard work.
Please don’t misunderstand, though. There are still (plenty of) days when I question my abilities. Days when I wonder if I’m doing a good job. Days when I wonder if I’m “really” the expert. My students think so. My clients think so. On a good day, I think so….. but there are lots of times I feel like a charlatan. I haven’t “arrived”. I don’t think anybody ever really does. That’s a story we tell ourselves when we look at other people because we only see the outside. We don’t know how they’re feeling.
There are days when I want to quit.
Fact is: I can. Anytime I choose to.
So far though, a good pep talk ending with
You have a choice here. Just do it, or give up. One or the other.”
…has kept me going.
This isn’t some cute little illustration. It’s not a motivational statement. It’s the truth. Oh my gosh, it’s the truth.
Fear can stop you. Fear can keep you small.
or
Fear can motivated you. It can push you.
There’s one thing I know for sure. This is not a dress rehearsal. There’s no “do-over”. Once this day…this moment…is gone, it’s gone. Forever.
Maybe, it’s time to stop living small, even though it’s scary.
It’s time to stop waiting for your life to begin, even though it’s scary.
It’s time to stop just dreaming….no, that’s not even it. Many of us never find the courage to EVEN dream, much less work toward those dreams.
It’s time to wake up.
It’s time to live.
It’s time to do something….something you want to do….something you’ve dreamt about….something that makes you feel alive….something….anything.
No one can do this for you. It is your life. Yours alone…and until you look at the narrator face, to face, call him/her a liar and truly, truly, know that you deserve better than this, you will feel stuck.
I read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, a few months ago. It is an absolutely amazing book!!!! I loved it so much that I bought a copy for each of my children, my sisters, and my husband.
Brene harkened back to a speech Teddy Roosevelt gave in 1910. I frequently repeat this to myself.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails whiledaring greatly.”
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