Dec 03
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
This might not seem like much, but what an absolutely profound statement!
We have so many expectations (I’ll get to the cookies in a moment).
Many of those are never communicated, yet we’re hurt, sad, and frustrated when things don’t work out exactly as we thought they would. We get upset because loved ones “should have known”, or “should have known better”.
With the holidays upon us, I can give you a personal example. Every time my extended family gets together, my husband accuses me (rightfully so….) of expecting some Normal Rockwell type of setting.
Love. Happiness. Sweetness. Everyone sitting around the table, smiling and getting along.
The reality is, I don’t have that kind of family.
Just to be clear, there IS every single one of those things (love, happiness, smiling, etc), but it doesn’t look like the screenplay I had authored in my head.
My kids argue.
My grandchildren don’t just sit quietly and read books.
There are toys everywhere. Someone just stepped on a lego.
Where are Hayden’s pants? Why is he insisting on throwing webs everywhere?
Who’s crying?
It’s loud.
Is it really a fail if we spent time together, and the kids are proud of these?
The cookies look like they belong in Nightmare Before Christmas instead of the bakery inspired concoctions I had pictured.
The cat is in the tree – again. I’m yelling! My husband is yelling back.
My sisters and I don’t agree on how or when everything is supposed to happen.
People don’t show up on time.
I couldn’t find the sweater I wanted to wear. My hair is a mess and I have no time to do anything about it.
Let’s just say, there is a good bit of chaos.
I could – and plenty of times, I HAVE – be upset.
I could – and plenty of times, I HAVE – pout and get angry because this is not how it was “supposed to be”.
Or I could – which is more likely, these days – submerge myself into the middle of that craziness. I could laugh, help make a huge mess in the kitchen, and celebrate all that is imperfect about my life, and these people.
The fact is, when it’s over and I’m sitting quietly at home, it is precisely the chaos that I miss!!! When I look back at holidays passed, it’s THAT – not the perfect buffet table with background music playing and quiet conversation.
I had those expectations but I have this reality.
xo
Dec 02
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
January 1st is just a month away.
A day when 45% of all Americans and countless more people, worldwide, will set resolutions, many of which center on self-improvement.
The top 5 New Year’s resolutions are, quite consistently to:
(1) Lose Weight (2) Get Organized (3) Spend Less, Save More (4) Enjoy Life to the Fullest and (5) Get Fit & Healthy.
In fact, The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior, by Milkman, Dai and Riis shows conclusively that not only do Google searches for the term, “diet”, but also the number of gym visits and verbalized commitment to pursue goals all increase following the start of a new week, month, year, semester, birthday, or holiday.
I doubt that surprises you.
I could spend time here, explaining there is nothing magical about January 1st, or Monday, the start of a week or the beginning of a month, for I truly believe that. Starting something new on Tuesday is just as possible as starting on Monday. Beginning on November 30th is as good as January 1st.
There is absolutely nothing “special” about the first of the year. If you employ habit-based, incremental change, rather than trying to change every single thing you do and every single thing you eat – all in one day [You know that doesn’t work. You’ve tried it how many times before?] you can be successful regardless of when you start.
Except….
There is this little thing called, “human nature”.
First, we like to do what we’ve always done. As creatures of habit, we always make plans, goals, and resolutions at this time of the year. Somewhere between 8 and 10 percent of people who make resolutions, are successful in keeping them. There is no reason we can’t be in that elite group! We’re serious this time!
We are social beings and misery loves company. Not just physically, but online too. As of June, 2015, there were 1.5 million mobile apps on iTunes – most of them social in nature. While our resolutions are predominantly focused on self-improvement, that does not mean they are easy. Changing engrained habits is hard work! If we plan changes at this time of the year, when (at least it seems like) everyone else is also doing it – we’re not alone. We have support amongst a whole crop of “newbies”. We can commiserate with others.
We are susceptible to what behavioral scientists call, “the fresh start effect”. By our very nature, we like aligning our new beginnings. We like clearly delineated lines. If we start a diet on January 1st, everything that happened prior to that date, no longer matters. We have a clean slate with the start of the new year. We just like to start things with the start of other things. It’s logical. Humans like to group similar things together. It’s what we do.
Beginnings beget beginnings.
“In fresh start moments, people feel more distant from their past failures,” says Katy Milkman, one of the lead researches in this work. “With the downward pull of failures behind us, it’s much easier to move forward.”
We make New Year’s resolutions for a variety of reasons.
Tomorrow I’ll talk about why these resolutions won’t work any better this year than they have in the past.
Stay tuned.
Dec 01
Mindset has been a huge focus for me in 2015. My health triad is Mindset Mostly, Nutritional Habits, and then Movement for a specific reason. I’ve worked with enough people to KNOW….know…that mindset is the most important part. I can help you with nutritional habits. I can give you an exercise program. I can talk to you about how to start your own business. I can walk you through numerous “self-help” program.
None of it is going to work unless your mind is in the right place.
None of it is going to take hold unless you are ready for change.
…and, I am ready for change. Mindset is going to be a bigger focus for me in 2016. Several weeks ago, I decided to investigate a mentorship with Brian Grasso, CEO of the Mindset Performance Institute. I provided my husband a list of things I was considering as investments. Without telling him what I had decided, he also suggested the mentorship for me. Clearly, that’s the right answer!
I was excited.
Then, it happened. At quarter of midnight, last night, as I was completing the mentorship application, I began questioning the decision. I began doubting myself.
The program is hard.
I used to think I needed “more motivation to GET me going”. Then I called bullshit and realized what I really needed was to do passionate things that KEPT me going.
I used to think I needed “more confidence”. Then I called bullshit and realized what I really needed was less bullshit about me needing more confidence.
Nov 27
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
Thanksgiving is over.
Many of the leftovers have been consumed.
Black Friday has happened.
Many people are now preparing for their holiday season and waiting for January 1st before starting anything new.
Waiting.
Putting life on hold for the next 34 days, 817 hours, 49,053 minutes, 2,943,185 seconds.
Waiting.
Until NEXT Monday.
NEXT week.
NEXT year.
Only when…………
As for me. I will not wait. I have short term goals to accomplish over the next 34 days. I have set one physical goal, one educational goal, one emotional goal, and two business goals.
What can you accomplish in 34 days? How much closer to your goals could you be in a month?
What are you putting off that you don’t need to?
Tomorrow is a day in your life.
…and the next day, and the next day, and the next 34 days.
<3
Nov 26
Michele Promaulavko
The really amazing fact is that by making changes in your life, not only do you have an impact on how your genes express themselves, but you influence which genes are passed to your future family members.
This recent study shows that 3 months of exercise causes significant changes in the DNA found in sperm. The DNA itself did not change but what was passed on to the offspring did!! I just finished a class about understanding obesity, through the University of Edinburgh. One lesson reported on several studies showing maternal nutrition has long lasting effects on offspring as well (for multiple generations)!
I don’t know about you, but I think if there was ever a reason to exercise, the fact that we can impact future generations, should rank pretty close to the top of that list.
A fellow believer in holistic health (meaning that we are not a grouping of isolated body parts but; rather, that the body is a “system” with each piece affecting others), Michele talked about three specific areas we should focus on.
Weight Training
Food is all around us and we make choices every day. We need to get a large number of those decisions correct, if we hope to have an impact. The problem is, there is soooooooo much information, it’s like a fire hose coming at you and it is easy to become overwhelmed. There seems to be an argument for every new diet going.
Here are two simple facts to keep in mind:
Stress Reduction
Mitigating stress is one of the most profound things you can do for your total body. It enhances physical, emotional, and mental health.
There is little question that we’re over-stimulated these days. More work, more school, more meetings, more activities, more electronic gadgets, more commitments…
As part of any wellness practice, you need to find a way to decompress. Some examples include meditating, taking a bath, yoga, sharing a meal with friends, working out, getting a massage, taking a 5 minute break to walk outside. Do some CNS breathing: breathe in slowly for a count of four through your nose. Hold for a count of 5-7 and let it out through your mouth for a longer count. Do this 4-5 times. Get off your electronics 30-60 minutes before bed. Go to bed earlier – even if it’s just 10 minutes right now. Add another 10 minutes later.
Find what works for you and then take the time to do “that”. It’s not self-indulgent. It’s self-care.
Check in with me once in a while and let me know what’s working for you so that I might share your tips with others.
<3
Nov 25
More isn’t better. Better is better.
There should be no “gobble wobble” unless it is this kind.
One day of enjoyment is not going to “ruin” you, just like one day of dieting is not going to make everything wonderful. It’s just a day. A day in your life. A day to be thankful for.
xo
Nov 24
Here is the official TSA food list.
As deep as my peanut butter addiction runs, there’s absolutely nothing on this list I can’t live without for a period of time (PS it’s easy enough to have nuts, instead of nut butter). That said, if I simply must have these items, I do have options.
I can bring individual serving sizes. In fact, a number of companies (like Minimus) sell nothing but travel-sized items.
I can buy items, at the airport once I have cleared security. 
If you’re planning a trip, during the holidays or after, domestic or international, and you want some suggestions for what you can and cannot carry on the plane, shoot me an e-mail. I’d be happy to help.
<3
Nov 23
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.IT.
A good friend recently shared this picture on my Facebook page. I adore it!
I have spent a ton of time, over the past 12-18 months, working on mindset so I am very aware of the tremendous difference between having a full mind and being mindful. That hasn’t always been the case.
I know, first-hand, how easy it is to get caught up in being busy, busy, busy…….
I have been a perfection-striving, over-achiever, my entire life. I gave up weekends with my children, in order to work and focus on being promoted.
I “had to”. “People were relying on me.” “It was important”.
Those are the stories that ran in my head. Oh I used to tell myself, “My family is the most important thing to me!”
but….when it came right down to it, I certainly wasn’t acting that way.
It took getting a text from my teenage daughter that read, “Mom. I miss you. I haven’t seen you in an entire week” for me to reassess.
Wow!
My mind was full…
I was busy and stressed out.
For the past decade, I have been running my own business and spending about 200 days a year on the road. It’s easy to allow all the travel and commitments to take over my life.
As hard as I strive not to let that happen, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been reminded that I still have some work to do! This is my slow season. I have been home for 10 days – the longest stretch I’ve not been on the road, since June or July.
Sure, I still have plenty of things to do. I’ve been catching up on paperwork, governmental reports, and strategic planning. For the most part, though, my scheduled has been my own. I have appointments but I set them. I have responsibilities but I decide when to complete them throughout the day.
I have taken the time to add a walk into this schedule, every day. I have been to two yoga classes (first time in three years!!). I have taken time to be alone with my thoughts.
It’s been almost magical.
Just taking this time to clear my mind and be more aware has allowed me to feel so (so so so) much more relaxed, focused, centered, AND PRODUCTIVE.
That’s the part that surprises so many people. How can I be more relaxed and, at the same time, more productive?
Rather than being busy, I’m spending time doing the things that are important.
The fact is, we can’t do everything. There are 24 hours in the day. We need to stop doing some things if we expect to find time to do the things that are important for us. Recently, I’ve been saying, “no” more.
We all have commitments. There are things we have to do. Work and responsibilities exist. For all of us. But…
Considering what’s important, – what’s truly important – in this short life, and making that a priority can literally change your life. It’s not an exaggeration. It’s not a concept. It’s not something that only a few (weird) people can experience.
You might not have the ability to completely change your routine right now. Building in some quiet time, though, even if it’s only a few minutes a day will provide tremendous benefits!
Start by trying to be aware.
Here’s one thing I’ve heard recently that helps me do this. I listened to a podcast several months ago. I don’t remember who it was but they suggested not asking, “if I were to die in a week, what would I do between now and then” but rather,
Harsh? Maybe! But, also, very true.
“if the person you love most, in the entire world, were to be diagnosed as terminally ill, today, what things would you do differently? What things would you give up to be with them? What things would you still find the time to do?”
THAT is definitely a quick way to assess what’s important!
That would have caused me to make a number of decision differently.
Nov 22
Personal example: There have been numerous times when I’ve been physically (typically because of my crazy travel schedule) unable to work out. Yet, being mindful of my nutrition has actually caused me to maintain, if not to lose fat. Even though I wasn’t exercising. More than a few of my clients have experienced the same results.
Exercise is important for a ton of reasons!
…but, increased physical activity alone has an incredibly small impact on obesity prevalence.
Nov 21
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
By the time the sun came up, we had driven from DC to Harrisburg, PA
Like many other people, my husband and I are traveling to see family for the upcoming holiday. We were up at 3 o’clock this morning, and left the house by 4:30. I spend a lot of time on the road, but today my ride was a Ford F-150 rather than the more typical Boeing 737. Pros and cons. Pro: I’m not limited to what will fit into a carry-on. Con: it’s going to be a 12-hour trip (maybe more depending on traffic and because we’re towing a trailer).
Staying healthy on the road can seem a formidable task for those not accustomed to it. We have a tendency to relax, eat whatever is available, not drink as much water as we typically would, and exercise considerable less. Holiday travel is especially challenging because we take on the mentality of, “I’ll be eating a lot on Thursday anyway. What difference does it make?”
Here’s the problem with that type of thinking. When we start eating as if the holiday starts on Saturday (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, or even Wednesday), it will continue through Thursday night. On Friday, there will be leftovers to take care of. By then, we’ll be getting close to Christmas (Hanukkah, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Ramadan, or Festivus) – and then we’re getting close to New Year’s. Ah, to heck with it, we might as well wait for January and start fresh at that point. Right?
The holidays themselves aren’t the problem. Unless you have an impending physical competition, enjoy a piece of your grandmother’s pecan pie or Challah French toast. Try some of your sister’s cornbread stuffing, latkes, mincemeat, or potted cheese. Those of us fortunate enough to be able to celebrate, should be grateful for the opportunity. Enjoy family, friends, and yes, food.
Thanksgiving is on Thursday though. Today is only Saturday. If I were to start celebrating today and go through the start of the new year – what began as three days of celebration would have become two full months.
Many convenience stores are offering a wider array of options.
I had this in the back of my mind this morning. I also know that my husband doesn’t like to stop for anything except gas and potty breaks. Both at the same time: we stop for gas, go to the restroom, and also grab something to eat from the gas station or travel plaza. Occasionally there’s a Subway or McDonalds but otherwise it’s convenience store food or whatever I brought with me.
I prefer to plan for my own success and I like options. I know that eating nutritious food makes me feel better (more alert, less bloated, and just “lighter” overall). Adding more salt and fat than I’m used to can upset my stomach. Who wants that while traveling?
Lemon protein waffles with fresh raspberries & a coffee to go.
I started my morning, as I always do, with protein, carbohydrates, and some fat. I also packed a small cooler with almonds, apples, ground turkey, sweet peppers, squash, salmon packets, hard-boiled eggs, protein powder, Quest bars, and water.
Mid-morning I had a Greek yogurt and water.
I also had a coffee at Starbucks.
Lattes and frappaccchinos can carry a huge wallop of calories, fat, and sugar.
I just get a tall coffee, with a shot of Christmas blend espresso and 1 pump of sugar free hazelnut.
How Often Should We Eat? This is one of those questions that everybody has an opinion on. Some think we should eat 3 meals a day; some think 6; some advocate only 2. I think it requires a bit of personal experimentation. There are foods you like that I don’t. There is a way of eating you may prefer and I might not. I do best with 4-5 small meals spaced throughout the day.
For lunch, my husband decided to stop at McDonald’s. I contemplated getting something there as well (fish or chicken sandwich, scrambled eggs, or a salad) but nothing particularly appealed to me so I had spinach, squash, chicken, and cranberries from the cooler.
How Could I be a Health Coach and “Allow” my Husband to Eat This Way? Some people act as though my husband should eat and exercise the way that I do. We’re different people. We like different things – from hobbies to food. My husband is a grown man. He makes his choices and I make mine. That’s the way it always has to be with adults.
I know it doesn’t always seem like it. I have many female clients tell me, “I’d like to watch what I eat but, my husband expects me to eat with him. He expects me to have what he’s having.”
That’s an excuse.
That might seem harsh but I’m not one to sugar-coat. We might not want to hear it, but…
That’s an excuse.
We are responsible for our own decisions. I’m not saying make two options at every meal. I’m just saying we can decide – from whatever has been prepared – what and how much to put on our own plate. We can decide whether we want to snack or not.
We can decide to say, “No. I’m not really hungry right now. You go ahead and have some ice cream. I don’t think I’m going to have any.” It’s hard because the truth is we really want the ice cream. If we don’t have any but he does, we feel like we’re missing out. Oh my gosh, what if he eats all the ice cream and there’s none left? (The answer, of course, is that we can buy some more tomorrow – or, heck, even later today).
Blaming my husband for having ice cream and therefore “making me have it too” is much easier. Eating a Big Mac with fries and then saying, “I wouldn’t have gone to McDonald’s but that’s what my husband chose, so…” takes the responsibility away from myself.
To be clear, I’m not villainizing ice cream – or McDonald’s.
If you want it, have it.
I’m saying
![FullSizeRender[1]](https://i0.wp.com/familynfit.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/FullSizeRender12.jpg?ssl=1)
As the sun sat, we were still on the road but had made it to Maine.
Dinner was a quick stop at Panera.
fuji chicken apple salad with dressing on the side, apple, and a glass of water.