Jul 05
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
Now that I have your attention…
Happy Independence Day. It definitely felt like a holiday to me. I’ve been home six full-days!!! That’s unusual and it’s been awesome. I’ve had an opportunity to catch up on several important tasks and even a few back-burner items. Today I decided to relax in my kitchen. I love to cook and there are a few recipes I’ve been hoping to work on.
The final result was four quick and easy recipes (plus my stand-by lemonade).
Each recipe was completed in 20 minutes or less!
With a homemade vinaigrette I already in the refrigerator, each recipe today contained six or fewer ingredients!
RECIPE ONE: COBB SALAD
1 cup spinach 1 cup romaine lettuce
1/4 avocado 2 slices bacon, cooked & diced
1 roma tomato, diced 1-2 mushrooms, diced
1/8 – 1/4 cup garlic vinaigrette (I had this in the frig, but recipe is below)
Dice all ingredients. Toss together.
Garlic Vinaigrette:
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar 1/2 tsp diced garlic 1 tsp spicy brown mustard
Freshly ground pepper 1 tsp Ms. Dash Italian Medley 1/8 cup extra virgin olive oil
Helpful Notes:
1. The vinaigrette stores very well in the refrigerator.
2. While there are specific bottles you can buy at a cooking store, for the sake of ease and simplicity, I just use oneof the protein shakers I have on hand.
RECIPE TWO: RED, WHITE & BLUE FRUIT SALAD
1 cup strawberries 1 cup blueberries
1/3 jicama 1/4 red onion
Fresh mint Fresh lemon juice
Dice all ingredients. Toss together.
Helpful Notes:
1. I like to use frozen berries when I make the salad, especially if it’s going to be a little bit until we eat. That way the salad keeps itself cold.
2. I was skeptical about the onion but it really enhances the flavor of this salad. Just try it.
3. What to heck is a jicama? It’s a very low calorie root vegetable from Mexico. You’ll find it in the produce section.
RECIPE THREE: GROUND TURKEY BURGERS
1 lb 99% fat free ground turkey
2 large white mushrooms, diced
1 tsp Flavor God 1/2 onion, diced
1 tsp Ms. Dash Italian Medley
1 tbsp diced garlic 1 egg white
Mix all ingredients. Form into patties. These were cooked on the grill (at 400 degrees). 10 minutes on one side and 5 minutes on the other.
Helpful Notes:
1. Again, make extra. One “secret” to staying on track is making food prep as easy as possible. These freeze well.
2. I don’t like dicing onions by hand. I typically use my Pampered Chef chopper. It works great!
RECIPE FOUR: STRAWBERRY LEMONADE
This isn’t a new recipe. It’s one of my favorites and I make it all the tie.
1 lemon, juiced 2 strawberries, diced
Fresh mint Ice
Water
Juice the lemon. Add strawberries and 1 sprig of chopped fresh mint. Throw in a few ice cubes and fill your glass with water. I did not use any sweetener (which is not unusual) but neither did my husband. It was just tart enough but the fruit added the right amount of sweetness without sugar.
RECIPE FIVE: NO-BAKE PEANUT BUTTER PIE
1/2 cup peanut (or almond) butter
1.5 medium bananas
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
2 tbsp coconut oil, softened
1 sheet chocolate graham crackers (optional)
1 tsp Glucomannan (optional)
Blend everything, except the graham crackers, very well. I just put all of the ingredients into the Ninja. Spray (olive oil, Pam, or something like that) a small ramekin (aka individual baking pan). If you want a crust, finely crush the graham crackers and put them into the ramekin. Pour the pie mixture into the ramekin. Pop this into th
e freezer for 10 or 15 minutes. You can keep it in the freezer or the refrigerator.
Helpful Note: What to heck is Glucomannan? It’s a powder made from Konjac root. This is completely optional to the
recipe as it is flavor-less, although it does add a little thickness. I add it to some recipes for additional fiber (which supports regularity).
I really hope one (or more) of these recipes becomes a family favorite for you! If you try something, please take a photo and share it, along with your comments, either here, on Instagram (#familynfit) or Facebook.
Jul 03
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
As we approach Independence Day, I want to talk about breaking free.
Breaking free from eating because someone else is eating.
Breaking free from eating because someone else expects you to.
Breaking free from blaming other people in your life for making you fat.
Do you know what I’m talking about?
More than once I’ve talked about the fact that my mother fed me. I mean she FED me. All the time. There was food to celebrate, food to make me “feel better”, food because I was “eating for two” and food to calm my anger or disappointment. She still tries to feed me. Whenever I am fortunate enough to visit, she makes me special treats from my childhood, or takes me out to eat (multiple times if there’s any way to fit it into my schedule). I feel guilty if she went out of her way to get something for me and I don’t eat it.
A friend of mine just met a new guy and she’s finding it difficult to focus on fat loss while dating. “Going out on dates isn’t great for the diet.”
That never gets better, by the way. I’ve been married for over 20 years. Last night my husband wanted pizza. His question before actually going to get one was, “if I get a pizza, will you share it with me?” It’s easier for both of us to eat pizza if we’re both eating pizza.
You go out with friends and find yourself ordering drinks, eating bread, or getting dessert – not because you necessarily feel like you want those things but because your friends are having them so, naturally, so will you. It’s okay as long as you’re not the only one.
Fact is, humans are social creatures. We find solace and comfort in doing what the people around us are doing.
When it comes to eating, psychologist John de Castro has conducted several studies to look at how eating with others affects food intake. “Meals eaten with one other person present were 33% larger than meals eaten alone, whereas 47%, 58%, 69%, 70%, 72%, and 96% increases were associated with two, three, four, five, six, and seven or more people present, respectively.”
That means when we eat with other people, on average, we consume 44% more than when dining alone!
A successive study showed eating with family or friends can be even worse. In fact, 23% and 14% worse, respectively, than meals eaten with other people.
Here’s another interesting fact in the studies and then I’ll leave you alone.
I LOVE these kinds of studies!!
I LOVE studying human behavior.
We are fascinating creatures.
So, did you know that we eat fastest when we eat alone, faster with our families, and slowest with friends? There’s some proof that the longer we spend at the table, the more we’ll eat.
Now, knowing these things and doing something about them are separate issues.
What can you do?
I. KNOW IT’S A PROBLEM.
The initial step to dealing with any issue is first identifying that it’s an issue. If you know you’re likely going to eat more just because other people are eating more, you’ll think about that as you sit down.
Use that information to make a mindful decision about what you’re going to have.
(See II)
II. DO YOU. JUST YOU.
Look at the menu (most are online today so you can even prepare well in advance if you’d like) and decide what you’re having before asking everyone else at the table, “what are you getting?”
As Jill Coleman (JillFitPhysiques. If you’re not already following her, you should be) said in a post earlier this morning, “I stay mindful of my choices. I make them from a place of personal awareness and genuine introspection about where MY hunger, cravings, stress, fullness, mood, boredom, etc. are currently.”
I also need to accept personal responsibility. It’s not fair of me to blame my feelings on other people. My mother is not trying to make me feel guilty. She’s trying to make me happy. The emotion I actually feel is MY feeling. It’s really got very little to do with the other person. The way I handle this is typically to express gratitude for what the person is giving me. I may ask them to share it with me, take a bite or two, or explain that I’m not hungry right now and I’m excited about saving this treat for later when I can really enjoy it. The difference is, these actions put me in control versus making me a victim.
III. FOCUS ON THE SOCIAL ASPECT
I love spending time with friends and family. While I try to schedule active things for us to do, the fact is, many times we’re sharing meals together.
If that’s the case, try to focus on the social aspect: the conversation, the company, and time together. People generally aren’t paying attention to what you eat unless you make it a big deal. It’s easy enough for me to start by enjoying a glass or two of water with lemon as we sit down. I may have a glass of wine with dinner but I probably don’t need three or four (that’s just me…).
I can easily order a salad or some vegetables as an appetizer. Or, I can nibble on some of the appetizers brought to the table for us to share. Dessert can be another great thing to share. Many restaurants also offer mini-sized sweets these days. A bite or two can often soothe that sweet tooth.
No one is going to bat an eye if I order a meal containing some type of protein, veggies, and perhaps a starch. Again, unless I personally make a big deal of it by complaining that I’m on a diet, or saying “I really want xyz but I shouldn’t, so I’m ordering abc instead.” You’re not a victim. You choose to eat whatever it is that you want. If you’re making a choice to eat healthy – good for you!!! That’s awesome. That’s not a negative thing to complain about.
Sources:
Jul 02
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
I’ve always been incredibly busy and I’m incredibly tired of it!!! I used to almost brag that, “my to do list is actually a to do notebook.”
Don’t get me wrong, I currently run t
wo successful small businesses and am trying to get my health and wellness passion off the ground more concretely, so I have plenty that needs to be done.
But…
I’m exhausted. Several months ago I created a “To Don’t Do List” for myself! Have you ever considered such a thing? Some of my to don’ts have been incredibly difficult and there are many I consciously work at, but the concept has already provided some benefits.
Here are a few of the things I don’t do anymore….
– I don’t make time in my crazy schedule for people who can never seem to fit me into theirs. This one was really difficult initially, because it involved friends, but it makes me feel empowered and much, much less resentful.
– I don’t take on other people’s responsibility any more. For example, if a customer says they’ll call me and they don’t, I do not take on the responsibility and call them. When someone asks me to do something and I agree but ask for additional information that I’ll need to do the job, and they don’t get it to me, I’ve stopped reminding them. I don’t make other people’s priorities my own, any more, when they don’t make it a priority.
– I don’t keep my e-mail open all day anymore. When it’s running in the background, no matter how much I tried not to look at it, I did look at messages as they popped up. This left me in a constant state of having to “put out fires”. Now I check e-mail only 3-4 times a day. That’s more than enough.
– I don’t buy non-refundable tickets any more. Things change. It’s more economical and requires less time if I buy refundable (or fly SWA that doesn’t charge a change fee).
– I don’t stay so busy that I don’t have time in my life for what really matters.
– I don’t feel guilty about occasionally wanting time alone or needing a little time to recharge.
– I don’t make excuses for other people (including my grown children) any more. If they do something, that’s their business and their consequence, not mine.
– I don’t (often) get online without setting an alarm. The internet, and especially social media, is a time suck if I don’t pay attention.
– I don’t volunteer as much as I used to. I still love to help but I was spreading myself too thin which means I was doing a disservice to everything I was doing.
– I don’t do everything immediately. I now let customers know it may be a few days, or even a week, before I’ll have time to get back to them but when I do they will have my undivided attention.
– I don’t multi-task as much as I used to (although I still do too much…) because I want to be present in the moment, in the place, with the person I’m with. That means I don’t allow myself to be a slave to my phone either. Unless it’s a special ringtone, sometimes I let it ring and return calls when it’s convenient for ME.
– I don’t provide an explanation of my life priorities nor my eating habits though both have been the topic of much past discussion.
– I don’t say, “I’m fine” every time someone asks me how I’m doing. I answer honestly. This surprises many people and they don’t know how to respond.
– I don’t bid on every job that comes across my inbox and I don’t take on every potential new customer. Some jobs are not worth the stress and some customers are not worth the money.
– I don’t let people get away with not accepting personal responsibility and I don’t let people lie to me anymore. In the past, there have been numerous times when friends and family told me what I wanted to hear, or what was socially acceptable and I let them, even though I knew what they were saying wasn’t true. I don’t do that any more. I’m not being rude and I don’t respond in an ugly way. I merely say (yes, out loud), “that’s not true.”
– I don’t (as often as I used to) try to save the world. I am here to help, anyone with anything I possibly can, but when people do not want to help themselves, I am no longer taking that responsibility upon myself.
And I’m not sorry….
– I don’t say, “I’m sorry” as much. Wow! This has been a difficult one too, and I’m working on it every day. Ever notice how often we say those words?
Being more conscious of it, I can now tell you that 90% of the time “I’m sorry” was just a reflex, I wasn’t sorry. Again, I’m not being rude, I just honestly had no reason to be sorry. For example:
(a) I ordered a Thai chicken salad from Panera. It came without chicken. When I went to the counter, I said, “I’m sorry, but this doesn’t have chicken on it.”
(b) A person who had not taken the time to sign up for class, thought they could just come in and expected a seat. I had to say, “I’m sorry, but since you didn’t sign up, you don’t get to come in.”
(c) Someone ran into me in the supermarket. My first reaction was, “I’m sorry” although it wasn’t my fault.
(d) The taxi I ordered for 330 showed up at 245 and I apologized for making him wait on me.
(d) I had a customer ask for a class date and I wrote in my e-mail, “I’m sorry but that date is full.”….I also caught myself and edited the sentence before I sent the message to merely say, “That date is full.” See the difference?
We apologize about everything ad nauseam. I challenge you. For the next three days, pay attention to how many times you say, “I’m sorry.” I bet you’ll be surprised.
Jun 21
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
I’ve never considered myself a “feminist” and, to be honest, I still don’t although the title seems more and more appropriate as time goes on. I hate labels and I really dislike lumping people into generic categories. I don’t believe any of us are just single -dimensional.
But there’s been a lot of “in my face” stuff recently.
We’ll attribute my comments to being on yet another plane, hearing yet another woman say, “I need to wait for a strong man to come put my suitcase into the overhead bin.” You’ve heard that rant before so I’ll spare you the diatribe here.
My 8-year old grandson asked me the other day, “What is a Tomboy?”
He had heard the term at school. Intrigued by the question, I asked him what HE thought it was. He originally said, “A girl who wear’s boys’ clothes, does boy things and wants to be a boy.” I asked for clarification. Boy’s clothes are, evidently, jeans, plain tee shirts and tuxedos. What? I know a lot of guys that run around in tuxedos every day. Don’t you? I have no idea where that came from!!! He defined girl’s clothes as dresses. Boy things are fishing and hunting. Girls just like flowers. There are even boy and girl tattoos!! Girls can get butterflies, steering wheels (…this was actually a nod to his cousin who has a ship’s wheel tattoo) and hearts. Boys get everything else.
Okay, I think we can all agree that Hayden’s list is a little silly, and as imaginative as many other things he talks about. He’s not been taught any of this. He’s heard things and he’s just trying to figure out the world he lives in.
But think about it.
Honestly.
How would you define a “Tomboy”?
Think about that question for just 30 seconds before you continue reading.
Did you think about it?
One of my friends said, “it’s a girl who is more interested in sports than dolls.” And, I do agree. Somewhere within our society we created these things for girls and different things for boys. Girls are supposed to be calm and docile. Boys are rambunctious and adventurous.
The fact is that I’ve been referred to as a Tomboy my entire life. I went hunting and fishing. I worked on cars. I ran fast and got muddy. I rode dirt bikes and snowmobiles. I carried in more firewood than anyone else because I was proud of being strong. I rarely wore dresses. I shot handguns in steel target competitions back when my husband and I were dating (of course he married me…..). He can confirm the number of times I was asked if I was carrying my boyfriend’s gun. That stopped after a few competitions but I always felt like I had to prove, not only that I had a right to be there, but also that women had a right to participate. There was that salesman at Dick’s Sporting Goods on Mother’s Day who asked how my husband’s back was when he was picking up a squat rack for me; and the one at Wal-mart who said, “those 25 pounds weights are heavy. Is someone going to come in and help you carry them out?’ No lie. Yup, that really did happen.
It’s been happening for a long time. When my son was 4, he got off the Headstart bus one afternoon and said, “My friend Tommy says you can’t ride that motorcycle, mom, because you are a girl.” Joe had never before thought it weird that I had a motorcycle. In fact he loved riding with me. It was just something I did…..until that day, when another 4 year old little boy planted the seed that there are certain things girls shouldn’t/can’t do.
Of course I proceeded to tell both boys that girls can do whatever they want! So can boys. We can all hunt or fish. We can all cook, or sew, lift and run, play with dolls or tractors. We can race motorcycles and make things with our hands. We can all get muddy – or not. Some of us are better at certain things than others. But it’s not because we’re boys or girls.
Here are a couple of other examples I’ve heard recently, from adults, not young children.
Two men talking in the sporting goods section after they had stopped by the gun counter where a female sales associate was working. “Wow. I have to say that I’m impressed she actually knows about firearms.” I bet you $1 million that statement would not have been made if the salesperson been a male.
Watching dirt bike racing in May when Vicki Golden made history by becoming the first female to qualify for the “Fast 40”, the riders that transition to the night program from times qualifying. I asked who she was and the response I received was, “some girl who’s trying to get into Super Cross.” Trying to get in? It seems she’s right there…..IN….racing. http://www.cycleworld.com/2015/05/03/amasx-vicki-golden-makes-supercross-history-video/
I could go on and on but I won’t. Rather, I’ll leave you with these links if you’re interested (and have the time) to look at some other examples.
Only males can be taken seriously in math and science. http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2015/06/11/3668712/female-scientists-responded-brutally-sexist-comments-nobel-laureate/
We use, “Like a girl” as an insult. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjJQBjWYDTs
Girls don’t just do “Powder Puff” racing, you know.
In the meantime, here’s what I personally told Hayden. “Tomboy” is a word we used to use a long time ago, but it’s not a word we should use any more because there is no such thing.
No boy things. No girl things. Just human things.”
One of my friend’s put it this way: “A girl who does not fit inside societies mold”. I love that!! We need to change this ridiculous mold.
May 25
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
I love behavioral economics because it studies how and why people actually do what they do. Recently some of my favorite economists have been studying human nature in the health and wellness arena. For me, it’s a phenomenal combination.
Stephen Dubner, an award-winning author and economist himself, defines behavioral economics as, “a marriage between the economist’s view of incentives with the psychologist’s view that most people don’t respond to incentives as rationally as economic theory would predict. It is a field that appreciates simple, clever solutions.”
How do we “make” people exercise, get their physicals or other recommended exams, and/or do the things they know are good for them? Let’s face it, there are a lot of activities we know we “should” do. There are also a lot of ways that we avoid these things.
I mean, we all know that physical activity is something we “should” do. We all know “should” eat well and we know that the prostate exam or mammogram is recommended for a reason. So why don’t we “just do it?”
Katherine Milkman, Assistant Professor at the Wharton School, has a theory. She has done a lot of study on how people make choices and knows that we don’t like limits. One reason we fail is because we don’t like being forced to choose between competing interests.
For example, “Should I exercise after a long day at work, or veg out by watching television and enjoying some mindless relaxation, or get some personal work done toward my goals?“
I can only pick one.
With Temptation Bundling, Ms. Milkman suggests we don’t have to pick only one.
She prefers to “join one thing we may avoid with one thing we love to do but isn’t necessarily productive.”
As Temptation Bundling shows some promise in being applied to help people in their daily lives, Dubner interviewed Ms. Milkman for his Freakonomics podcast entitled, “When Willpower Isn’t Enough” on March 13, 2015. In that interview, Milkman said, “What I’ve realized is that if I only allow myself to watch my favorite TV shows while exercising at the gym, I stop wasting time sitting in front of the television, and I crave trips to the gym where I watch my show. I actually enjoy both my workout and my show more when they’re combined. I don’t feel guilty for just sitting and watching TV, and my time at the gym flies by.”
It’s the old adage of “killing two birds with one stone”.
Personally:
Milkman’s examples include:
She’s an economist, so this is not just Milkman’s opinion. She has conducted research into whether temptation bundling actually works. With co-authors Julia Minson and Keven Volpp, their paper “Holding The Hunger Games Hostage at the Gym: An Evaluation of Temptation Bundling” define the topic as, “a positive method for simultaneously tackling two types of self-control problems.”
It will be interesting to see the supplemental data of future research. In the meantime, the first study was done with students at the University of Pennsylvania who said they wanted to exercise more. All participants were paid for being in the study that lasted for nine weeks.
The students was broken into three segments.
GROUP I: Students were provided an iPod preloaded with four audio novels (from a list of 82 that had been rated as “very difficult to put down”) of their choosing. The books were broken down into 30-minute segments and the iPod was held at the gym so students could only listen while they were physically within the facility.
GROUP II: Students were provided audio novels of their choosing which were then loaded onto their personal devices. They were encouraged to only listen while exercising at the gym but that rule would need to be self-imposed. It was not “required” as in the fist group.
GROUP III: Students did not receive the audio novel. Rather, they received an equally valued Barnes & Noble gift certificate. They were strongly encouraged to exercise more.
Before you read further, do you have any guesses as to what the study showed?
Seriously – don’t read the answer until you decide whether you think this would work or not. I was tempted not to send the answer in the same e-mail….
Here’s what happened.
For the first 7 weeks, Group I exercised significantly more than Group III.
Group II weighted out right in the middle.
After 7 weeks, all of the students went home for Thanksgiving break.
The gym was closed for a week.
When students returned, Milkman and her colleagues, found no residual difference between the three group’s exercise rates. It was as if, with a week off, students lost their interest in the novels.
A new study is being conducted and includes the use of Fitbits where physical activity will actually be tracked, not merely whether or a not a person entered the gym.
I think temptation bundling could provide some long-term benefits.
What’s your opinion?
Do you already do some form of temptation bundling?
Can you think of something new you might try?
Next week I will write about our second brain hack: commitment devices. It may be the antithesis to temptation bundling. Rather than join two positive actions, we will talk about a self-imposed “penalty” for not doing the things you “should” do.
In case you are (also) a geek who wants to read the original research, here is a link http://opim.wharton.upenn.edu/~kmilkman/2013_Mgmt_Sci.pdf
May 21
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
I have been in the classroom almost every day for the past six weeks. The classes have been relatively large and the people engaging but a couple of recurring issues have continually popped up.
1. No matter what we were talking about, I had people chime in, “But I’ve heard xyz” or, “So and so told me this.”
My response is always the same.
“They are giving you their opinion as if that is THE answer.
In fact, that may have been THEIR answer. That may have worked for them.
That is not, necessarily YOUR answer.
Do you see the difference? “
We’re all different.
We think differently.
We do things differently.
We approach issues differently.
I am not going to give you an opinion.
I am going to make you form your own.
I will give you information and say, “If you do A, here’s what you can expect. If you do B, here’s what will likely happen.” Some people will choose A, and others B. That’s absolutely okay!!
This answer is relevant to soooooo much of what we do, isn’t it?
It’s rampant in the health & fitness arena.
Your friend lost weight on:
Atkins
Weight Watchers
Paleo
IIFYM
Zone
Eating 6 Times a Day
Eating 3 Times a Day
Fasting
The Blood Type Diet
The Mediterranean Diet
Jenny Craig
As a Vegan / Vegetarian
By Cutting out Dairy…or Gluten….or Grains….or Anything White
By Doing Crossfit
By Doing Cardio for 2 Hours a Day
By Never Doing Cardio and Only Lifting Weights
….the list is seemingly endless.
The fact is that when you watch what you eat, or change your diet in some way (any way) that your body is not used to, you typically lose some weight.
Let’s be clear.
That does not mean you lost fat.
It does not mean the l
oss is sustainable over the long term.
It does not mean you’re more healthy!!
I’ve talked about this before.
I lost 15 pounds on a chocolate cake, coffee, and nicotine diet!!!!!
People think I was crazy and irresponsible.
Let me ask you this: what about the fat burners, squeems, lotions, potions, and diets you’ve been trying?
No judgment. Just a question…
2. Several times throughout each day, one person would start complaining. “This law isn’t fair.” “I don’t like that.” “I made a bad choice ten years ago.” And so on.
This always leads to other people jumping in to agree and things can go down hill very quickly.
We only have 8 hours for class so I refuse to entertain this negativity. We just don’t have the time for it!!!
My response is always the same and it, too, is relevant outside of class.
“Is there anything at all that you do anything about xyz? Could you make a change so that it’s better? Can you do anything about a decision you made ten years ago?”
Many times people don’t want to answer because they know where I’m going with my questions.
“If you can do something to fix the problem: do it! Let’s brainstorm about how you might do that.
If you can’t do anything about it, I am going to ask you to stop complaining.
It does nothing for you, and it detracts from productive things we could be doing. It provides absolutely zero value to our time today. In fact, it is a waste of time.”
May 19
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
Late yesterday, Brooke Erickson posted on her Facebook page, “Competing is not and should not be for everyone and no one should ever compare themselves to someone else’s stage physique. As tempting as it may be for you to want to compare your body to that of a stage-conditioned competitor… believe me when I say that there is a flip side. They too, suffer from poor body image and self-comparison. They just don’t talk about it. They too, don’t feel good enough and dissect themselves in the mirror. They just don’t want you to know they have flaws. They too, can feel lost and depressed after the stage lights have turned off. Your journey is your own. Don’t worry your mind or waste your time comparing yourself to anyone else. Work hard to be a better version of you…not the woman in your newsfeed. Strive to be your 10… not theirs.”
Brooke was my coach during prep for my last Figure competition (June, 2014) and, as she frequently does, she spoke directly to my heart with her post. I want to scream a reiteration of her thoughts.
“They too, suffer from poor body image and self-comparison. They too, don’t feel good enough and dissect themselves in the mirror. They too, can feel lost and depressed after the stage lights have turned off. Don’t waste your time comparing yourself to anyone else!!!”
I have been struggling lately.
I’m not comparing myself to anyone else. I’m comparing myself to my stage-conditioned competitor 
self, which is just as unreasonable. Especially since I’m not competing.
Special thanks to Jeannine Trimboli for her support and advice: “Allow yourself to start looking at your weight as a tool rather than something that defines your value.”
Again….YES!!!!!! I’ve said this to clients. Why am I not applying it to myself?
The fact is, whether you are struggling to lose weight, to gain muscle, to be healthy, to find a healthy body image, or something entirely different, the struggle is just as real.
For the past 3-4 years I have been competing. I love the ripped, competitive body. I like being shredded. The physical aspect was amazing and I love being on stage. But right now I’m trying something new.
I have a new coach (Jordan Syatt) and I’m working on Power Lifting.
I can’t wait to share my experience and all of my changes as I go through this program. But, to be honest, I’m struggling.
I feel like I’m starting back at square one. I feel like I have never lifted. This is different than anything I’ve ever done. The workouts are different. The breathing is different. The body mechanics are different. I’m excited to see what I can do.
Yet.
I also feel like I don’t know this body. It’s not for figure. It’s not ripped. It’s softer. I am uncomfortable. I feel big. Not fat. Not muscle-y (I only just started this new venture two weeks ago).
Just big.
Not following my own guidance, I even stepped on the scale this weekend. I am the heaviest I have ever been other than when I was pregnant.
I’ve wrestled with that.
There’s a battle going on inside my head.
“Who cares what you weigh?”
“No one even knows what you weigh!”
“Weight is irrelevant. Your clothes still fit and you feel strong.”
All true.
I would say every one of those things, out loud, to a client.
But.
There is that number on the scale…….
My number.
My scale.
It shouldn’t matter, but it’s in my head.
So I stood in front of my husband, distraught and naked. I asked him what he honestly thought of this body (he liked the lean, competition shape as much as I did).
Anyone that knows him will verify that he wouldn’t lie. He can’t….
My husband said, “You look amazing. You aren’t shredded but you look so strong and powerful. To be honest, this may be the best I’ve ever seen you look.” I know he was being sincere.
But that’s not how I feel.
I just feel big.
![FullSizeRender[2]](https://i0.wp.com/familynfit.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/FullSizeRender2.jpg?ssl=1)
So why am I doing this? For several reasons.
– First, I got a little tired of just focusing on aesthetics.
– It’s contrary to what I tell my clients so at times I felt like I was being dishonest – with them, with me or maybe both. I tell clients that their size doesn’t matter. I tell them that they need to focus on fitness, strength, and improving what they can do – – the rest of it will come. I believe that and they’ve proven it to me time and time again.
– I told a friend, who needed the encouragement to pursue her goals, that I would do this with her.
– I am strong and I like new challenges, so I’ve decided to see what I can DO for a while, vice just what I can make myself look like.
It is my most sincere hope that as I go forward into this new challenge, I can come back and tell you that I’ve come to grips with this new shape and that I’m comfortable with myself.
It is my most sincere desire that you would also work on feeling comfortable with your body just AS IT IS RIGHT NOW…even if, and while you’re making changes.
I will share my journey with you. I’d love it if you would share your journey with me.
May 17
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
I LOVE (love, love,love) the water. Always have. I love to be near it, walk beside it, be in it, be under it. Even when we lived in Vegas, I would seek out the water. We spent days kayaking at Lake Mead, hiking to the Colorado River, and learning to SUP at Lake Las Vegas.
If I wrote my perfect day for you, it would look like this:
Wake up on the boat, just before sunrise. Wrap in a cozy blanket and go topside to grab a coffee and relax in my favorite chair while listening to sounds of the ocean and watching the sun slowly rise. After a nice breakfast, I’d don dive gear and submerge into my underwater paradise. I’d stay there as long as I could (luckily I only sip air and my dives can easily last a while), taking in the sites and reveling in the underwater beauty. Top side to lounge in the sun for a surface interval. Repeat. Yes, THAT would be a phenomenal day. That is how I would like to spend every one.
But to get back to the moral of my story…
My love of the water started at a young age, I suppose, but to me, it’s ALWAYS been there. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a small town in rural Maine so I ienhaled the salty air for much of my life.
If you’ve been there, you know that the tide ranges can vary greatly between high and low tide.
If you haven’t been there, let me explain. There can be a difference of 9-11 feet depending on whether the tide is in or out. That’s in the southern part of the state and the difference can be up to 19 feet in the north. In fact, the Bay of Fundy, located on the northeast end of the Gulf of Maine, is known for having the highest tidal range in the world: up to 50 feet!!!
This morning I was thinking about my range of emotions over just this past week. They have been as high and as low as the tide in Maine. Feelings and emotions are like that. They ebb and flow. For all of us.
Last week I was incredibly frustrated and overwhelmed.
I wrote to a group of girlfriends: “My schedule has gotten out of hand. I’m always busy, but lately I’ve been getting up at 5:30 every day. I have exactly 1 hour to myself to check email, FB, etc. Then I get dressed, drive to wherever my class for the day is and I’m in the classroom from 7:30 until 4:30 or 5 o’clock. After class I’ve been driving for a couple of hours to get to the new location, while trying to grab a workout here or there, write proposals, respond to clients, return phone calls, etc. In bed around 11 or 12 (sometimes later) just to get up and do it all again the next day. I’m tired and frustrated.”
They were positive and supported me.
That’s one thing that’s valuable when the tide goes out: someone else there to help you negotiate around the sink holes – or to help pull you out if you get stuck. These sink holes are not like the ones you see in Florida, swallowing homes; or Bowling Green last year gobbling up 8 corvettes.
No. A sink-hole on the mud flats is a big soupy, super-soft mud that you can sink into.
Even if your support system is a “system of one”, call that person. Write to that person. Talk to that person, and be honest (with you and them) about what you’re feeling.
During low tide, you might find that you need to go slow. So, too, with low emotions. Take things a little slower. Apply some self-compassion. But keep going because the tide is coming in. It always does. During that feeling of overwhelm, it can be difficult to remain positive. It can be difficult to remind yourself (AND believe) that things are going to work out.
When that emotional tide is out and you’re in the mire of mud flats, you need to keep trudging along. Put one heavy foot in front of the other…take a short break if you need to and, then….move the other foot.
The tide will eventually come in – it’s a cycle – it always does. With water and emotions.
My emotional tide has come in. This morning I wrote: “I’ve been home for 36 hours and while I will get back on the road later this afternoon, these visits refresh me. At this moment, standing in my own kitchen as my husband and the mini schnauzer continue to sleep, I feel like I can conquer the world.”
I wish this feeling would last but it won’t. The tide comes in. The tide goes out.
I’m not depressed about that and it doesn’t overshadow the feeling I have today.
I’m just going to take it in.
I’m enjoying the high tide.
May 14
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
The health & fitness world has gone crazy. At least the area that I follow has. Like so many other arenas, judgment is rampant and the dizzying height of political correctness is insane.
“Don’t talk about ‘mindset’ or ‘mindfulness’ because it’s too esoteric and you’ll scare people away.” I might lose some people then, but…
FACT: Mindset is the piece that’s missing from most health programs. People need help in stopping negative self-talk and self-neglect. When I receive e-mails like this from people in my private coaching group, I don’t think they’re frightened by the mindset work we do.
“Don’t call weight loss a ‘journey’ because it’s “insensitive and makes people feel like they aren’t good enough right where they are.” What?
FACT: I consider the entire life experience a journey. When I stop looking forward to new goals, I will stop living. I have never seen this word as negative – in any way.
“Don’t talk about eating cookies because that makes people think that eating sugar is okay.” But, “Don’t talk about eating tilapia because that means you’re an extremist.”
“Hooray for Chipotle: serving all non-GMOs.” “Damn Chipotle for serving non-GMOs and adding to the food fear-mongering.”
FACT: I love cookies, tilapia, and Chipotle. I don’t think those things “make” me anything….except a little happier.
“Don’t talk about functional exercise because it’s useless.”
FACT: I believe we are ALL athletes. Life is our sport!!! That’s not a cliché. You pick up your children or grandkids, you carry in your groceries, you want to be able to get in and out of your car, take a walk on a sunny day, and be healthy enough to care for yourself. Every one of those things involves the ability to move!! That’s functional movement.
What to hell? Seriously. People are walking around on eggshells afraid to say anything because the words we used yesterday are not accepted today. Well, at least I have been. No matter what you say these days, you can expect someone to jump on you for it!
It really – I’m not joking – had me feeling almost paralyzed to do or say anything, recently.
Then this text message slapped me across the face and jolted me back to reality.
FACT: I’m not doing anything that I do in order to be accepted by other people. I do everything I do in order to help people who need help.
The message (which, I have permission from its author to share) was:
“I need your help”
“With what?”
The message took my breathe away!! I sat and cried for about 20 minutes. It made me feel as though I had been punched in the gut.
The positive body image arena is now so sensitive that we shouldn’t ever talk about weight or fat, “because it makes people feel bad about themselves.” No.
FACT: This person already feels bad – it doesn’t matter what word I use. The word “fat” is not a judgment call. It’s a noun. It is a real thing…and a large amount of fat around body organs is not healthy.
This is a young single mother who takes less than 5 minutes a day caring for herself.
FACT: Me, or anybody else, telling her that she’s worth it and her actually beginning to believe it are two very, very different things. We’ll need to work on self-care and compassion. We’ll need to work on self-acceptance right where she is now while establishing goals to change, get healthy, and lose FAT.
This person is desperate for help. So, yes, I used that “F-word”.
We talked about FAT, working out, and eating for her goals. I didn’t tell her she should weigh a certain amount or be a certain size. We didn’t talk about “good” or “bad” food but we talked about the FACT that she’s going to have to change the way she’s eating.
I also didn’t tell her she should just accept herself the way she currently is, though. I don’t believe that helps anything and in FACT, it can have the opposite affect of what well-meaning individuals are trying to do. It can add more guilt. Now the individual can also feel shitty because, on top of everything else, they’re not accepting of themselves “like they should”.
We just keep heaping it on.
Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying.
FACT: I don’t care what a person looks like. I don’t care what a person weighs or what size pants s/he wears. Losing weight and getting stronger are not really the goal. They are outcomes. The goal is to empower people: to help them realize they are capable of so much more than they imagined they could do.
I can’t be so worried about picking the currently “acceptable” word that I don’t say anything.
Apr 24
Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
I have to share what I consider to be a milestone (well, as I write this, I realize it’s actually two or three milestones) for me.
First, a little background. I love the way I look when I compete. I love curvy biceps and pumped shoulders. I love rounded glutes. I love the shredded look. I love those things so much, that for years I have weighed and measured all of my food. I have obsessed over it. I have carried baggies of food into restaurants with me when I’ve met friends for dinner.
Do you know how exhausting that is? Every. Single. Day. In life, let alone with my travel schedule. I did it because I felt like I had to. I did it because I had been told that if I wanted to be lean and look the way I like, that I needed to….and I believed that.
For the last month I have refused to weigh anything. I’ve carried my scale in my suitcase – I always do – but I refused to get it out. I have not eaten everything I see, nor everything I have a passing momentary craving for…but I have not eaten a specific diet either. If I wanted an apple, I ate it. I didn’t weigh it first. If I wanted ice cream, I had a little bit.
*******************************************
I WISH I COULD PUT GREEN FLASHING LIGHTS AROUND THIS SECTION!!!!!!
The biggest tip I ever give to my nutritional clients is this:
Before you put something in your mouth, think about it. Ask yourself one question. Is this, whatever it is, worth the calories?
If it is – eat it. Enjoy it. The smell, the taste, the texture. No guilt. No self-imposed hour long cardio session later to “make up for it”.
If it really isn’t worth it to you, why are you eating it?
So many times we engage in mindless eating. We put stuff into our mouths just because it’s there or out of habit.
Stop! Think! Then eat.
Don’t put a ban on your favorite foods. That makes you want them even more and getting fit should not be a punishment. All things are allowed but not all things are helpful in reaching your goals.
*****************************************
I have no idea what my macros (protein, fat, carbs) have been. That caused me a ton of stress (no joke) even a month ago.
MILESTONE 1: Much of the stress has subsided as I have just trusted myself, listened to my body, and applied moderation.
Yes, I did carry food in my suitcase over this last month. I will always do that, for several reasons. First, I travel to many remote locations and there’s not always something nutritious available. Second, with my schedule, there’s also not always time for me to sit down to a meal. Many times I eat as I’m running through the airport, or while sitting on the plane. I like to be in charge of what I eat and I don’t want to be in a situation of being “forced” to eat a Big Mac merely because that’s the only thing conveniently available and I’m starving.
So after this month, what has the result been?
MILESTONE #2: I LOST, I did not gain, 4 pounds. I wasn’t trying to lose weight and I couldn’t care less what the scale says, anyway, but I did lose weight. I’ve been strong in my workouts. My mind is clear and I feel fantastic.
And here is the biggest, hugest (yes that’s a word!!!!!) thing.
MILESTONE #3: I was talking to my husband last night and said, “I don’t have as many veins in my arms and my biceps are long and lean instead of bumpy (which I like). Maybe I should go back on a plan but I just don’t feel like it. I just can’t seem to make myself like the idea.” He said, “That’s because you know it’s not the best thing for you. You might not be as lean as you’d like to be but I think you look amazing. You look so much more healthy now than you did when you were competing.”
THAT made my day!!!! THAT made my entire week. I mean, who am I trying to look and be healthy for anyway?
Myself – check; and my husband – check.
Sometimes we do need a plan. Examples include when we are trying to attain the goal of losing fat, gaining muscle, competing, etc. Sometimes that’s important and during those times we need to track our food.
Sometimes we need to live our lives, apply some moderation, trust ourselves, and just find little ways to build healthy habits into our every day routines. We all know that it’s probably better to eat a piece of fruit than a cupcake. We know that eating until we are stuffed doesn’t even feel good – much less is it good. We know that if we eat just mountains of fat and sugar, it’s not good for us. We all know that if we move more, if we exercise, it’s better for our bodies and out minds. Let’s just do more of that stuff!!!
Gi-normous shout out to my mentor, business coach, and dear friend JillFit Physiques for her inspiration to me in this area.
