Debbie Hatch | Family & F.I.T.
The recent move to Nebraska is #19 for me. I have an affinity for that number (Ka) so that’s cool. We’ll have at least one, maybe two, more moves before we settle into a “forever home”. There have been a lot of transitions for this small town, Maine girl, over the years. I don’t complain – although there have been some assignments that initially concerned or scared me; one time when I hid from my husband so he wouldn’t see my cry at the news; three times when he watched me cry because we were leaving people I loved and I just couldn’t hide it; and some places I don’t care to ever return to.
For the most part, though, this is just a normal part of life for military families and it’s been pretty amazing. I view every move as a big adventure. In talking to some of my friends this week, we don’t know whether we love it or hate it. To be honest, for me it’s a constant melding of both…
- IT’S EXCITING
There are new places to explore. New things to do. New people to meet. It keeps me from getting into much of a rut because nothing stays the same (except family – that’s the one constant, and SO very important).
- IT’S STRESSFUL
You, and every single thing you own (material things of financial value but most importantly, those things that have only great emotional value – the clothes you brought your babies home from the hospital in; their kindergarten drawings and homemade Christmas ornaments, etc) have to safely make your way across the country, or the globe. There are new things and places to learn. We need to find a new vet, new doctor, new dentist, new hairdresser, bank, grocery store, insurance carrier, and so much more.
- IT’S SAD
We’re always saying, “see you later” (which is goodbye a large percentage of the time although none of us like to put it that way) constantly. Either you, or your friends are moving. I’ve left my sisters (which hurt) and both of my children (which hurt even more). I have honed an ability to disconnect from people and places. Good and bad. It can be hard to make friends. The situation sometimes hurts people because I don’t always cry when I say goodbye. This transitory lifestyle has an up-side though.
We have friends all over the world. We really do have a second (military) family. We have the ability to not see people for years, yet fall into easy, comfortable conversation the next time we do talk. It keeps me appreciative of things and relationships when I have them. I know, for sure, everything in life is temporary. Many people never realize this until it’s almost too late.
This reflective mood has been brought on by the fact that today I will go to a new gym. My realtor gave me a month’s free membership to a local barbell club. Perfect! I’m excited but also super anxious. As much time as I spend in the weight room, and as long as I’ve been going to the gym, I’m comfortable in that environment.
It’s still not easy though. People who work out frequently are still just regular people. It’s a new place. New environment. New people. I’m a private individual for the most part so none of this really thrills me. Will I fit in? Will this be a good fit for me? Will I feel intimidated or make a fool of myself?
I want to go – but I don’t. Know what I mean?
We’re busy and in the middle of a cross-country move. It would be easy to say, “I can’t” and at least partially convince myself that’s really true. But I’d only every partially believe it. So I will get dressed. I will make the drive. I will take a deep breath and walk inside. I will do my workout. It will all be okay…it’s just a little uncomfortable.
Places don’t become home…
People don’t become friends…
Situations don’t become comfortable…
Unless we put ourselves out there.