We Can Disagree but Still be Friends

Debbie Hatch  |  Family & F.I.T.


I have a lot of different friends.

Different ages.
Different genders.
Different nationalities.
Different religions.
Different political beliefs.
Different socio-economic standings.
Different goals and aspirations.
Different medical issues.
Different tastes in food, clothes, hobbies, and other people.
Different jobs and education levels.
Different kinds of families.
Different body styles, hair color, height, weight, and skin color.


Not right. Not wrong.


Before and after


They know my background and I know theirs.

We don’t judge each other for it – we don’t like it, or dislike it. We don’t have to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. We don’t have to think (or say), “If I had been in that situation, this is how I would have handled it.”


We merely understand that this is/was the person’s story. This is/was what happened to them. Period.


Touring the mosque in Adana, Turkey

They (my friends – not just people I “know”) don’t try to change me. They don’t try to “save me” from myself or some belief or non-belief that we differ on. They may not accept the beliefs that I have but they accept me for who I am – beliefs and all.

I extend that very same courtesy to them.

Because we have so many differences, I don’t agree with everything they say, everything they post, every feeling they have about topic x, y, or z.

…..and, that’s okay.


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That last paragraph can be about anything but most notably of late, the big 3 heated debates have been about

Gun control,

Politics, and

If, how, or why we should wish each other well during the holiday season.

Each one of these opinions are deeply routed in a firmly held belief system. And we are different.  We were raised differently, in different environments.  We’ve been to different places, seen different things, and had different experiences.

I’m not going to change your mind. You’re not going to change mine.

…..and, that’s okay.


Do we, and should we, occasionally talk about these things?  Sure, but I don’t feel a need start a debate over everything one of my friends might say.

They’re expressing their opinion. We all have one. We all have many!!

I don’t get drawn into every troll they post on Facebook, or feel it necessary to let them know that I agree or disagree with their feelings or beliefs. I understand that this person doesn’t believe in this, and that person staunchly believes in that. I don’t agree.

……and, that’s okay.

I expect them to extend that very same courtesy to me.


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I hear you.

I am willing to accept what you say, or not.

I do, though, always accept that that is the way you feel.

You have said something that causes me to look at this a little differently, or not.

We agree or we agree to disagree.

Either way…..I’m moving on.

World peace is a phenomenal idea. I love it.


We are different.

We are not ever all “just going to get along”.   Look at your friends.  How many different beliefs and opinions are there within that very small circle?  And these are your friends!  People you have chosen to bring into your life.

We are not all going to believe in the same things – no matter how many times someone tells us that we should.

…and, that’s okay.

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