Taking Responsibility for Your Own Shit

Debbie Hatch  |  Family & F.I.T.

If you’re having a shitty day, read this. It was written by, Brian Grasso, CEO of the Mindset Performance Institute (MPI).  He’s working on a couple of books right now and I can’t wait to share those with you once they after published and available.

I know – for a fact – that mindset is the missing piece of the equation.  It’s everything!!

Struggling with fat loss?  Physical and mental health?  Family relationship?  Professionalism?  YES!!!!!  Mindset.  “It’s not all willpower, positive affirmations or goal setting.”

Everything in your life is predicated upon the foundation of your mindset.  I believe in this sooooooo strongly, in fact, that I am currently working on my Mindset Specialist Level I Certification through MPI.  I couldn’t be more excited!!!

So, here’s Brian’s post:

I like a good ‘motivator’ as much as anyone.

Those inspiring videos that tell you all is possible.

Inciting posters that contain really provoking quotes.

Posts about ‘climbing the ladder of success’ or ‘overcoming obstacles’.

Not only do I enjoy them, I often share them myself.

But here’s the thing.

Shit days, shit moments or shit feelings don’t ever get solved by stuff like that.

No matter how much we ‘like’, ‘share’ or ‘comment’ on them.

Negative states of mind aren’t natural. They must be produced through the assistance of your perspective.

A perspective you’re choosing to have.

And unless we reconcile with that fact, we’re going to keep chasing the temporary ‘feel-goods’ that don’t actually help us create lasting change.

Because the crash is inevitable.

You can drink your problems away.

Emotionally eat yourself out of the shit feelings.

You can even engage in more ‘healthy’ forms of deflection like obsessive exercise.

But in the end, when the momentary high wears off, you’ll find yourself right back where you were and in need of another fix to take it all away.

My life is a walking testament to that cycle.

I used to drink more than I should.

I used to eat as an avoidance mechanism.

I used to exercise fanatically.

And in between, I would blame other people, bemoan my circumstances and act as though no one on earth was facing the kinds of stresses that seemed to plague me nonstop.

One day, I decided to quit reaching for the quick-fix.

I opted to take control of my life by recognizing that my perspective was the guilty party.

That any shit day, shit moment or shit feeling I had really didn’t have to do with anyone or anything else.

That realization – and that alone – is where it all started to change for the better.

I apologize for the curse words.

And am sorry if this post forces you to take more responsibility than you may want.

Sure, I would have loved to given you that quick-fix today…

… But I’m about helping you create lasting change.

Not just diverting your attention for a few minutes.

Mindset Matters Most.

…and here is my personal response to the group:

I am not having a shit day. I read the post anyway 　 Couldn’t agree more!

I personally started to make a shift, and accept responsibility, a few years ago. I’m not always successful, but on those days when I can stop myself in the negative state and assess, the shit doesn’t last as long.

My favorite master’s classes (my degree is is Organizational Leadership) were emotional and social intelligence.  NOT denying the emotions:  not using them as excuses, but understanding that (a) we do have emotions (b) we can become more aware of what we’re feeling (c) acknowledge those feelings and (d) then decide how to act upon them.

When I’m having a shitty day, I typically ask,

“Okay, what’s the deal?

What’s really going on here? Is it as bad as you’re thinking it is? Is there anything you can do about it?

If so – why don’t you do that? If not – know that this too will pass. It always does. Wade through it.

Is there someone who might understand, that you want to talk to? If so – call them. If not, keep to yourself and approach this day one tiny step at a time.

You don’t have to be positive but you don’t have share your negativity with the world either. Just keep going.”

I used to think it was weird that I had debates inside my own head….now I accept responsibility for those too.

It’s just my inner dialogue and it’s a critical part of my process.

xo