I’ve been reading a bit about Jade Socoby over the past couple of days. Muscle & Strength and Girls Gone Strong have both written about her and I think you’ll find her as inspiring as I do.
Jade Socoby
Jade hails from Maine and this girl has lost 130 pounds over the last 2.5 years. More than her body has changed though – and you know those are the things I focus on.
“I am grateful for the family I have in my life and the friends that stuck by me even when I stopped drinking every weekend.”
This is huge! I can tell you, it is one reason many people don’t change their own lives. I, personally, lost several friends when I started competing. Several of my clients have struggled with a lack of support from family and friends.
Friends (and sometimes family too) don’t understand why you want to stop partying and start taking care of course. “If you’re not going to be fun any more, I don’t know if we can hang out.”
Friends (and sometimes family too) seem to be the ones encouraging us to give up on such goals, in fact!
I think there are a couple of reasons for this. First, it can make people uncomfortable. If we’re doing what they “want” or “know” they should also be doing, it can be hard not to feel guilty.
Second, though, many times when we’re making these changes to work on ourselves, we complain. “Ugh. I have to go to the gym again today.” “You’re so lucky. I can’t eat that pizza…or cake…or whatever” Our family and friends don’t want to see us miserable. If you’re so unhappy, they wonder, “why do it at all?”
No one is “making you” do this. You’re making a choice. Stop complaining about it. Good for you!!!!!! You’ve made a great choice.
This is (another reason) why mindset is so critically important!
YOU have to be ready to make any change for YOU.
It won’t work, if you’re trying to do it for anybody else.
…and, if you’ve made a decision to do this for yourself, stop complaining.
2. What is the biggest thing you’ve noticed since you’ve changed your body?
“My biggest accomplishment (as a side effect of lifting) was overcoming my social anxiety. When I was 320 pounds, I wouldn’t even leave my apartment unless I absolutely had to. Being seen in public mortified me because of how embarrassed I was about how i looked and who I was. Now I love meeting new people and staying busy.”
You have to like yourself right now, right where you are, exactly as you are – even if there are some things you want to change.
Caring about yourself though, making changes, and becoming more of you (more confident, more healthy, more fit) makes a huge difference in how you feel in the world.
3. What advice would you give someone looking to make their own transformation?
“Get in the right mentality. If you’re not mentally ready, you may not make it. I’ve quit more times than I could count because I wasn’t mentally ready for the change. You’re going to have bad days and you’re going to get off track. Don’t get discouraged and just keep pushing. We all have bad days, we’ve all gone off our nutrition plan. It’s not the end of the world, just pick right back up.”
Mindset Matters Most.
You have to want to do this for you.
Until you determine what is holding you back and how to deal with that, you are not going to make sustainable change. Until your reason for wanting to do something is bigger than your reason for not wanting to, you are not going to make sustainable change.
“Stop weighing yourself every day. The scale can in fact be your enemy. My weight goes up and I have to take my lifting belt in a notch. Go by how you look, feel and how things fit!”
“Don’t be intimidated being the only, or one of a few, females in the weight area.”
It can be scary walking into the gym for the first time and, definitely, walking into the weight room. I know. Jade knows. Any woman who’s ever entered that “hallowed, testosterone infused domain” knows.
Here are a couple of things to remember as you get started.
Strength is not only for males.
A. Other people are not really looking at you. It might seem like it, but they are there to get their own workout done. Yes, they may glance in your general direction. Who cares. PS You’re looking at them too – are you judging?
B. You are there for YOU. Do what you came to do and don’t let anyone else deter you from it.
C. Have a plan going in. Walking into the gym, standing there looking around and trying to figure out what to heck to do, is uncomfortable – for everybody!!!!! I don’t like it either, and I’ve been doing this for a while. Make/get/print a plan before you walk through the door and then follow your plan.
As of this morning, there are only 27 days until January 1, 2016. A day when 45% of all Americans and countless more people, worldwide, will set resolutions. We’ll quit smoking, start exercising, eat less crap, stop arguing, go back to school, and become better parents.
What an amazing day it will be!
Only. Probably not.
A Nielson survey published in January 2015 showed “staying fit and healthy” as the top resolution last year, coming in at 37%. That was followed closely by “lose weight” (32%). If Facebook is any indication, it will be the same for 2016 – just like it always has been. I can’t go past three posts on my newsfeed without seeing some type of sponsored ad by someone offering a new program that will kick off on January 1st.
The problem is…while the year starts with the best of intentions, it doesn’t typically go the way we hoped. One quarter of people who make New Year’s resolutions give up within the first week!
Here’s why:
I. Resolutions are dreams, goals are plans: action is where changes occur.
According to Nielson, the top 5 resolutions are (1) To Lose Weight (2) Getting Organized (3) Spend Less, Save More (4) Enjoy Life to the Fullest and (5) Get Fit & Healthy.
There are numerous problems with these resolutions, not the least of which, is their nebulous language. They’re not specific. What does “getting organized” or “enjoying life to the fullest” look like? What’s involved in “getting fit and healthy”? What’s the plan to “lose weight” or “spend less”? How much? How much less? How are you going to do those things? How will you know you’ve “been successful”?
Envisioning a better form or ourselves is fantastic. Wanting to be, or do, more is admirable. But you’ve got to first identify exactly what you’re hoping to accomplish. “I will….” is easy to say. The fact is, though, that you have not in the past.
Saying you’ll do something does nothing for you – except make you feel like a failure when you don’t do it. Setting goals gives you a little more concrete plan but still does nothing for you. Taking action is the only way things change and you will not take action until your reason for doing so is more important than your reason for not.
II. Mindset Matters Most.
…and, before you will take action that leads to sustainable change, you have to figure out your “why not”. What’s been holding you back?
This step requires a lot of introspection and personal awareness. Many people prefer not to do this. It’s uncomfortable. It’s easier to jump right in by changing your diet or forcing yourself to exercise.
I promise you: if your mind isn’t in the right place, you’re wasting your time. You’re going to end up showing your but…
I really want to lose weight but…
I know I need to make better choices but…
I need to take my health more seriously but…
I really need to cut back on eating out but…
I know I should track my food but…
But is an excuse. Your but gets in the way! Your but is what your story has always been.
To change that story, you need to understand the but and realize you can have either that OR you can have results but not both.
III. We focus on what we’ll stop doing.
I’ll quit smoking. I’ll stop eating too much, or too much of “x”. I’ll stop procrastinating. I’ll stop yelling at the children. Bad habits don’t just disappear. In fact, habits are ingrained in our subconscious. To consciously focus on stopping them, only brings more attention to the negative and exhausts that willpower “muscle” very quickly.
It’s much more productive to focus on what we will do.
Breaking goals into smaller chunks provides steps to make dreams a reality. You won’t lose 75 pounds in one day; you won’t run a marathon in a week.
But…
You can start exercising 2-3 times a week.
You can start eating more vegetables and protein.
You can get a good running plan and log your first step today – maybe you’ll walk for 1/2 a mile.
You can schedule playdates with your children.
You can shut off the television by 8 pm each evening and spend an hour doing something productive.
See the difference?
IV. We try to implement everything at once.
Many people use the New Year as an opportunity to make large bucket lists or attempt extreme makeovers. We expect to wake up on January 1st and just “do it”. We will diet, exercise, quit smoking, quit arguing, quit procrastinating, and win parent of the year. All at once!!
If it sounds ridiculous, that’s because it is. But think about it for a moment: isn’t this what we typically do? Let me focus on health and fitness. How many times have you gone on a diet, began exercising like a mad-wo/man, started drinking nothing but water, and forbidden any “not authorized” food into the house. How long did that last? It’s exhausting!
What if you just added protein to a few meals this week.
Added vegetables to a few meals next week (while still maintaining the protein).
Added water to the protein and vegetables in a few weeks.
Stuck with one thing at a time for a little while and then added one more thing.
The sad fact is that people don’t want to do this because it seems so boring. It seems too easy. That can’t possible work. But it does!!!! It works precisely because it’s easy to incorporate these changes.
Even if you only change one thing each month, that’s TWELVE changes over the coming year.
Small steps taken consistently add up to greater travel toward your goals.
This might not seem like much, but what an absolutely profound statement!
We have so many expectations (I’ll get to the cookies in a moment).
Many of those are never communicated, yet we’re hurt, sad, and frustrated when things don’t work out exactly as we thought they would. We get upset because loved ones “should have known”, or “should have known better”.
With the holidays upon us, I can give you a personal example. Every time my extended family gets together, my husband accuses me (rightfully so….) of expecting some Normal Rockwell type of setting.
Love. Happiness. Sweetness. Everyone sitting around the table, smiling and getting along.
The reality is, I don’t have that kind of family.
Just to be clear, there IS every single one of those things (love, happiness, smiling, etc), but it doesn’t look like the screenplay I had authored in my head.
My kids argue.
My grandchildren don’t just sit quietly and read books.
There are toys everywhere. Someone just stepped on a lego.
Where are Hayden’s pants? Why is he insisting on throwing webs everywhere?
Who’s crying?
It’s loud.
Is it really a fail if we spent time together, and the kids are proud of these?
The cookies look like they belong in Nightmare Before Christmas instead of the bakery inspired concoctions I had pictured.
The cat is in the tree – again. I’m yelling! My husband is yelling back.
My sisters and I don’t agree on how or when everything is supposed to happen.
People don’t show up on time.
I couldn’t find the sweater I wanted to wear. My hair is a mess and I have no time to do anything about it.
Let’s just say, there is a good bit of chaos.
I could – and plenty of times, I HAVE – be upset.
I could – and plenty of times, I HAVE – pout and get angry because this is not how it was “supposed to be”.
Or I could – which is more likely, these days – submerge myself into the middle of that craziness. I could laugh, help make a huge mess in the kitchen, and celebrate all that is imperfect about my life, and these people.
The fact is, when it’s over and I’m sitting quietly at home, it is precisely the chaos that I miss!!! When I look back at holidays passed, it’s THAT – not the perfect buffet table with background music playing and quiet conversation.
A day when 45% of all Americans and countless more people, worldwide, will set resolutions, many of which center on self-improvement.
The top 5 New Year’s resolutions are, quite consistently to:
(1) Lose Weight (2) Get Organized (3) Spend Less, Save More (4) Enjoy Life to the Fullest and (5) Get Fit & Healthy.
In fact, The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior, by Milkman, Dai and Riis shows conclusively that not only do Google searches for the term, “diet”, but also the number of gym visits and verbalized commitment to pursue goals all increase following the start of a new week, month, year, semester, birthday, or holiday.
I doubt that surprises you.
I could spend time here, explaining there is nothing magical about January 1st, or Monday, the start of a week or the beginning of a month, for I truly believe that. Starting something new on Tuesday is just as possible as starting on Monday. Beginning on November 30th is as good as January 1st.
There is absolutely nothing “special” about the first of the year. If you employ habit-based, incremental change, rather than trying to change every single thing you do and every single thing you eat – all in one day [You know that doesn’t work. You’ve tried it how many times before?] you can be successful regardless of when you start.
Except….
There is this little thing called, “human nature”.
First, we like to do what we’ve always done. As creatures of habit, we always make plans, goals, and resolutions at this time of the year. Somewhere between 8 and 10 percent of people who make resolutions, are successful in keeping them. There is no reason we can’t be in that elite group! We’re serious this time!
We are social beings and misery loves company. Not just physically, but online too. As of June, 2015, there were 1.5 million mobile apps on iTunes – most of them social in nature. While our resolutions are predominantly focused on self-improvement, that does not mean they are easy. Changing engrained habits is hard work! If we plan changes at this time of the year, when (at least it seems like) everyone else is also doing it – we’re not alone. We have support amongst a whole crop of “newbies”. We can commiserate with others.
We are susceptible to what behavioral scientists call, “the fresh start effect”. By our very nature, we like aligning our new beginnings. We like clearly delineated lines. If we start a diet on January 1st, everything that happened prior to that date, no longer matters. We have a clean slate with the start of the new year. We just like to start things with the start of other things. It’s logical. Humans like to group similar things together. It’s what we do.
Beginnings beget beginnings.
“In fresh start moments, people feel more distant from their past failures,” says Katy Milkman, one of the lead researches in this work. “With the downward pull of failures behind us, it’s much easier to move forward.”
We make New Year’s resolutions for a variety of reasons.
Tomorrow I’ll talk about why these resolutions won’t work any better this year than they have in the past.
At this time of the year, I reflect on what I have accomplished over the past 11 months and what I want to do over the next 12.
i create a strategic plan for myself personally, and for my business. I set specific goals for each area.
I do this simply because I am interested in so many different things! There are countless options competing for my time, attention, and money. It’s easy for me to lose focus if I don’t have a plan. The fact is, when we say, “yes” to something, it means we have to say, “no” to something else.
Mindset has been a huge focus for me in 2015. My health triad is Mindset Mostly, Nutritional Habits, and then Movement for a specific reason. I’ve worked with enough people to KNOW….know…that mindset is the most important part. I can help you with nutritional habits. I can give you an exercise program. I can talk to you about how to start your own business. I can walk you through numerous “self-help” program.
None of it is going to work unless your mind is in the right place.
None of it is going to take hold unless you are ready for change.
…and, I am ready for change. Mindset is going to be a bigger focus for me in 2016. Several weeks ago, I decided to investigate a mentorship with Brian Grasso, CEO of the Mindset Performance Institute. I provided my husband a list of things I was considering as investments. Without telling him what I had decided, he also suggested the mentorship for me. Clearly, that’s the right answer!
I was excited.
Then, it happened. At quarter of midnight, last night, as I was completing the mentorship application, I began questioning the decision. I began doubting myself.
The program is hard.
Can I do it?
Am I a good fit for this?
Am I good enough?
Should I wait until I have more training, or more experience?
Am I strong enough?
Am I authentic enough?
Will this really help me? Will it help me to help others?
What if I fail?
The seeds had been planted. Like it or not, they rattled around inside my head for a little while. Should I just forget about it and leave this for a younger person, a more fit person, a person with more degrees or certifications, a person with more experience: a person that is more of something than I am.
But…
I caught myself. I called Bullshit. To quote Brian:
I used to think I needed “more motivation to GET me going”. Then I called bullshit and realized what I really needed was to do passionate things that KEPT me going.
I used to think I needed “more confidence”. Then I called bullshit and realized what I really needed was less bullshit about me needing more confidence.
I decided to get out of my own way. I can accept excuses and labels. I can self-impose limitations. OR I can stand up, look directly into that face staring back from the mirror and say, “I AM GOING TO DO THIS!”
I am doing the MPI membership beginning in January. I’m signed up. The application has been submitted….and I can’t wait!!
I am not going to settle for less when more is right there…..
How about you? Where are you holding yourself back? What one thing have you always wanted to do but been too scared to pursue? Why don’t you get started on that – right now.
Many people are now preparing for their holiday season and waiting for January 1st before starting anything new.
Waiting.
Putting life on hold for the next 34 days, 817 hours, 49,053 minutes, 2,943,185 seconds.
Waiting.
Until NEXT Monday.
NEXT week.
NEXT year.
Only when…………
As for me. I will not wait. I have short term goals to accomplish over the next 34 days. I have set one physical goal, one educational goal, one emotional goal, and two business goals.
What can you accomplish in 34 days? How much closer to your goals could you be in a month?
What are you putting off that you don’t need to?
Tomorrow is a day in your life.
…and the next day, and the next day, and the next 34 days.
This is the second blog I’ve written about the Unleash Your Greatness Summit I was fortunate enough to attend a couple of weeks ago. The first covered Bill Phillip’s talk which was focused on how to simplify taking care of our bodies. This one discusses Michele Promaulavko’s presentation entitled “You Have Control Over your Genetic Destiny”.
Michele Promaulavko
Michele is an author, Editor-in-Chief of Yahoo Health and has appeared on the Today show, CNN, Fox News, and The Tyra Banks Show. She is a charismatic speaker and I love the topic of epigenetics so I found the presentation to be phenomenal.
I’ve been hearing a lot about this topic from Dr. Mike T. Nelson too, in my Mindset Performance Institute curriculum. I can’t wait to share all of that with you! When I attend training, it’s a win-win for both of us! Sincerely.
Without getting too scientific, genetics is the study of hereditary traits: it’s those things passed in DNA from parent to offspring. Epigenetics is the study of how those genes respond to external input (for example, our diet, environment, physical exercise, etc).
Epigenetics tells us that through lifestyle choices, we actually have a lot of control over our genetic destiny. We do not have to be bystanders in our lives, or slaves to our DNA. We can be active participants.
The really amazing fact is that by making changes in your life, not only do you have an impact on how your genes express themselves, but you influence which genes are passed to your future family members.
I’m not making this up! Changing your habits can, in fact, impact your children and their children!
This recent study shows that 3 months of exercise causes significant changes in the DNA found in sperm. The DNA itself did not change but what was passed on to the offspring did!! I just finished a class about understanding obesity, through the University of Edinburgh. One lesson reported on several studies showing maternal nutrition has long lasting effects on offspring as well (for multiple generations)!
I don’t know about you, but I think if there was ever a reason to exercise, the fact that we can impact future generations, should rank pretty close to the top of that list.
A fellow believer in holistic health (meaning that we are not a grouping of isolated body parts but; rather, that the body is a “system” with each piece affecting others), Michele talked about three specific areas we should focus on.
Weight Training
Strength training is one of the most overlooked aspects of health. This is incredibly sad because it can provide so many benefits – to your body and brain. Lean muscle burns more calories – even when you’re doing nothing. Weight training impacts joint mobility, bone density, and body composition. I am big believer that physical strength begets mental strength as well – it gives us confidence and makes us feel powerful.
Proper Nutrition
Food is all around us and we make choices every day. We need to get a large number of those decisions correct, if we hope to have an impact. The problem is, there is soooooooo much information, it’s like a fire hose coming at you and it is easy to become overwhelmed. There seems to be an argument for every new diet going.
Here are two simple facts to keep in mind:
Lowering refined carbohydrates, sugar, and processed foods: increasing protein, fresh fruits and vegetables, is best. (In today’s environment I always feel like I need to add a disclaimer – I’m not saying to ban that first group of items. I’m saying to lower your consumption of them).
Small changes add up to big cummulative benefits! Don’t worry about the next 3 months. Make a healthier choice for this one meal. Then work on the next, and then the next.
Stress Reduction
Mitigating stress is one of the most profound things you can do for your total body. It enhances physical, emotional, and mental health.
There is little question that we’re over-stimulated these days. More work, more school, more meetings, more activities, more electronic gadgets, more commitments…
As part of any wellness practice, you need to find a way to decompress. Some examples include meditating, taking a bath, yoga, sharing a meal with friends, working out, getting a massage, taking a 5 minute break to walk outside. Do some CNS breathing: breathe in slowly for a count of four through your nose. Hold for a count of 5-7 and let it out through your mouth for a longer count. Do this 4-5 times. Get off your electronics 30-60 minutes before bed. Go to bed earlier – even if it’s just 10 minutes right now. Add another 10 minutes later.
Find what works for you and then take the time to do “that”. It’s not self-indulgent. It’s self-care.
Check in with me once in a while and let me know what’s working for you so that I might share your tips with others.
A good friend recently shared this picture on my Facebook page. I adore it!
I have spent a ton of time, over the past 12-18 months, working on mindset so I am very aware of the tremendous difference between having a full mind and being mindful. That hasn’t always been the case.
I know, first-hand, how easy it is to get caught up in being busy, busy, busy…….
I have been a perfection-striving, over-achiever, my entire life. I gave up weekends with my children, in order to work and focus on being promoted.
I “had to”. “People were relying on me.” “It was important”.
Those are the stories that ran in my head. Oh I used to tell myself, “My family is the most important thing to me!”
but….when it came right down to it, I certainly wasn’t acting that way.
It took getting a text from my teenage daughter that read, “Mom. I miss you. I haven’t seen you in an entire week” for me to reassess.
Wow!
My mind was full…
I was busy and stressed out.
For the past decade, I have been running my own business and spending about 200 days a year on the road. It’s easy to allow all the travel and commitments to take over my life.
As hard as I strive not to let that happen, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been reminded that I still have some work to do! This is my slow season. I have been home for 10 days – the longest stretch I’ve not been on the road, since June or July.
Sure, I still have plenty of things to do. I’ve been catching up on paperwork, governmental reports, and strategic planning. For the most part, though, my scheduled has been my own. I have appointments but I set them. I have responsibilities but I decide when to complete them throughout the day.
I have taken the time to add a walk into this schedule, every day. I have been to two yoga classes (first time in three years!!). I have taken time to be alone with my thoughts.
It’s been almost magical.
Just taking this time to clear my mind and be more aware has allowed me to feel so (so so so) much more relaxed, focused, centered, AND PRODUCTIVE.
That’s the part that surprises so many people. How can I be more relaxed and, at the same time, more productive?
Rather than being busy, I’m spending time doing the things that are important.
The fact is, we can’t do everything. There are 24 hours in the day. We need to stop doing some things if we expect to find time to do the things that are important for us. Recently, I’ve been saying, “no” more.
We all have commitments. There are things we have to do. Work and responsibilities exist. For all of us. But…
Considering what’s important, – what’s truly important – in this short life, and making that a priority can literally change your life. It’s not an exaggeration. It’s not a concept. It’s not something that only a few (weird) people can experience.
You might not have the ability to completely change your routine right now. Building in some quiet time, though, even if it’s only a few minutes a day will provide tremendous benefits!
Start by trying to be aware.
Aware of how you really feel,
Aware of yourself and your environment,
Aware of what you say is important – what you’re treating as important – and considering whether those things are aligned or disconnected.
Here’s one thing I’ve heard recently that helps me do this. I listened to a podcast several months ago. I don’t remember who it was but they suggested not asking, “if I were to die in a week, what would I do between now and then” but rather,
Harsh? Maybe! But, also, very true.
“if the person you love most, in the entire world, were to be diagnosed as terminally ill, today, what things would you do differently? What things would you give up to be with them? What things would you still find the time to do?”
THAT is definitely a quick way to assess what’s important!
That would have caused me to make a number of decision differently.
I’m in a bit of a reflective mood today brought on by a self-inflicted injury. Let me give you the back story first and explain the significance of those words for me.
I’ve been saying these words: “it was self-inflicted”, since my children were little. While they were never really fans of hearing it, personal responsibility was something I wanted to instill at a very young age. Nobody – myself include – wants to hear, “it was self-inflicted”. Those words are similar to giving advice. Very easy to say to other people. Much more difficult to accept for yourself.
Calling something “self-inflicted” doesn’t negate the injury but it…um…mitigates a bit of its drama, let’s say.
You didn’t “get hurt”. You hurt yourself.
You’re not “sick”. You made yourself ill by drinking/eating too much.
This didn’t “happen to you”. You caused this to happen, by…
Speaking of drama. None of these were “disasters”. But you get the idea.
Seem cruel and uncaring? Far from it. They received any care (and love) they needed. But they didn’t get to distance themselves from the responsibility for what happened. My point was merely, if you were directly responsible for the injury, the illness, or whatever, you have the ability to avoid this in the future. …and we’d talk about how.
Since yesterday I have been accepting personal responsibility for a self-inflicted injury. It was dumb, and I don’t like hearing those words. But…
Wednesday evening I was feeling completely unmotivated and lazy. I didn’t want to go to the gym. There was no real reason for me not to go, and deep down I did want to get a workout in, I just didn’t feel like it at that particular moment. I know you know exactly what I’m talking about. Normally once I get started, everything falls into place, though. Many times I find my motivation was just waiting for me to show up at the gym.
So I got dressed and went to the gym.
My first two exercises were deadlifts (for time) and box jumps. I completed my first four sets of the two exercises, superset one after the other. I was feeling strong, pulling good weight, and started to get into my groove. Yes!
Then, I got lazy. On rep #3 of the fifth set, I rushed. I didn’t think about my form. I picked up the weight without first stabilizing my core, stood up fast, and wanted to immediately drop the weight to the floor. It hurt!!
It was one of those times like when you lock your keys in your car. You know immediately – sometimes before the door has even closed all the way – but it’s too late to do anything about it.
Yup.
It was just like that.
I didn’t get hurt because “deadlifts are dangerous”, because “doing exercise for time is crazy”, or anything else. I got hurt because I wasn’t paying attention and I know better! It was self-inflicted. There was no serious damage but the muscles in my lower back began to tighten and spasm, immediately. Getting into bed was difficult and putting pants on when you can’t pick up one leg while stabilizing on the other, really sucks. I spent most of yesterday trying to get comfortable in my chair. Today is better and by tomorrow I’ll be almost back to normal.
Know what I’ve been thinking about for these last two days? How much I want to exercise. Two days ago, I didn’t want to exercise; and for the past two days, all I’ve thought about is wanting to be able to exercise. It’s just like the carrot cake and granny smith apples I wrote about on Tuesday.
We have a real tendency of not appreciating what we have when we have it.
I had a functional movement screen done two weeks ago. The trainer said, “you move very well”. I never thought anything about it. Yesterday I missed not being able to move well!
When our kids were little, my husband and I occasionally grumbled about all of the sports, clubs, and extra curricular activities. We never had time to do anything but play taxi. Man, I miss those days!!
When my son was in basic training, I just wanted him to be done. I wanted that trial to be over. Shortly after he finished, he headed to Iraq for a year. Wow. I wanted him back at basic training!
I’m aware of these tendencies and I really do try to mitigate them to the greatest extent possible. When we lived in Montana, we snowmobiled every weekend we could – because we knew it wouldn’t always be an option. It was a personal rule! When we lived in Florida, the last time, I told my husband we “had to” go to the beach every weekend I was not traveling. That was a new rule because the first time we lived in Florida I worked far too much and visited the beach far too little. This time, I didn’t care what the weather was like. We went in the rain, the sun, and wrapped in sweatshirts when it was windy and cold but we went. Every weekend.
Here’s the tough question for you.
What are you doing today that you’re not appreciating enough? Your children won’t always be home. The people you love won’t always be there. How many things do you find a nuisance today but you would miss tomorrow if/when they’re gone? What if you couldn’t work out ever again? What if you lost your job?
Think for one moment about how truly fortunate you are. THESE are the good old days.
I had no forethought to make this video last Sunday morning.
I didn’t plan it.
I don’t like myself on video.
I don’t have makeup on.
I haven’t had coffee or breakfast.
I brushed my teeth but, nope, I didn’t even brush my hair.
There are 99 reasons why I shouldn’t post this.
But there is one reason I felt compelled to tape. There is one reason I fought my typical urge to analyze this before I hit post. There is one reason I just did it…..
I have something to say
, and this….
This is me.
I’d love your thoughts. Do you practice mindfulness? Do you feel your emotions – whatever they happen to be. Acknowledge them, and build in a few seconds to decide how to react?
I think there are a couple of reasons for this. First, it can make people uncomfortable. If we’re doing what they “want” or “know” they should also be doing, it can be hard not to feel guilty.
